Carmelita's Blog

2006-04-20T23:05:00.000-04:00

This has been a very busy week for us. We are finally about ready to go on vacation and it will be great for us to bond before sending the children to their dad's house for the summer.
The weather has been much cooler this week, and for that I thank God. I have been meeting some real lovely people here in Army Lodging. The more I see of Fayetteville the more I like. I know not everyone likes this town, but Ivan and I had been praying that God would put us right where He wanted us. After going to church last night I knew why He chose here. I will be able to grow in my faith here.
Have a blessed day!
~Carmelita

Loving NC

2006-04-14T11:53:00.000-04:00

Well we are in Fayetteville, NC and I am loving it. There are so many restaurants, stores, museums, etc. to keep me busy and happy. We are planning on attending the largest church here (megachurch) which always lifts my spirit. I just do not enjoy smaller churches. When the church is large enough to require two to three services, then I am happy. That means the music is good, the minister is good, and there is alot for my children to be involved in. Jesse will have his choice on Wednesday nights of continuing with Royal Rangers or he can go to CrossRoads and do skateboarding. I like that there is many activities for them to be involved in.
We are in the processes of buying a house here and that will keep us busy for the next few weeks.
Have A Blessed Day. Please remember that today is Good Friday (not that I believe Jesus died on this day, I actually believe he died on a Thursday).
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Moving

2006-04-04T20:12:00.000-04:00

Well the movers finished loading my household goods today. They packed us yesterday and loaded us today. Yippee!!! I get to leave AZ in less than a week. I have been eagerly awaiting this day since I got here. LOL
Sunday night we had the children's birthday party. We rented "The Cove" an indoor swimming and wave pool for the children to have their friends over. There were about 60+ children there and Jesse and Courtney seemed to have a great time. It was also their going away party, so it was bittersweet. I am trying to convince Courtney that she is not leaving her friends, she is only going to gain new ones. Her friends now will be her friends later on, plus who knows, one day their dad might be stationed where we are.
That is what I enjoy about the military, the moving. It is a wonderful way to see the world. I only wish that the Army did not have "Life Cycles". A life cycle is where you go to a unit and stay there for three to five years. I want the old days back where you can live 21 different places in 20 years. Now that is an adventure. LOL
I am not sure how much computer time I will have as I am unsure about the internet in Army Lodging. Praying that they will have wireless internet available.
Praying everyone has a wonderful day.
~Carmelita

Reverse Dive

2006-03-23T23:51:00.000-05:00

YES, YES, YES!!! My daughter finally managed to do her reverse dive tonight. She has been stuck on this dive for over a month, and no matter what her coach or I did, we could not get her to do it. On Monday, I asked if one of the High School divers could come in tonight and work with her, and Sara (a senior) came and showed her how to do it. After much encouragement, she finally did it. She now has all five classes of dives down. Whether or not she sticks with it in North Carolina is up to her, but she achieved success here. Her coach is trying to convince her that she could be on the National Team by 16 if she would stay with it, but I don't think her heart is there. It is in basketball. Her coach tried to let her know tonight that dive scholarships are easier to get than basketball ones. You have to be great to get a basketball scholarship, but only good to get one in dive. There are never enough divers to fill all the scholarship positions out there.
Now if only I can get her brother back into a sport. He says he will resume Tae Kwon Do when we get to North Carolina. There were no ATA schools here, and we are familiar with the ATA way. Also he said he might play soccer in the fall. Whatever it is, he needs to become a little more active. Playing PS2 and computer games does not provide physical activity.
I have always tried to support their every endeavor. Sometimes it is a fine line between encouragement and pushiness, but I try to stay on the encouragement side.
I never played sports in school (other than at recess) and I would say I do not have an athletic bone in my body. I look at my children at times and envy them. I asked Ivan the other day if I could be jealous of them, and he said I wasn't allowed. I look at them and see such great potential and I don't want them to waste it. I don't want them to look back at life and have regrets. I am open with them about my mistakes, and tell them all the time not to walk in my footsteps. No matter how much Ivan tells them (and me) that I am wonderful and have potential, I can't believe it.
I know that I have a bigger influence on them than I know. Last night Courtney put a prayer covering on for her bedtime prayers. She went under my bathroom sink, pulled one out and said she wanted to wear it. I looked at Ivan (when she was not around) and asked what do I do? As soon as her prayers were over, she took it off and put it by her bed. Tonight she did the same thing. Just when I had peace with not wearing one, and now this. Is it a sign from God, who knows? I just know that I have more influence than I thought. She is the reason I gave up covering full time in the fall, she didn't like it, and hated that I was so different from all the other moms. Maybe she is as hormonal as me, I don't know, but I was asking Ivan last night what to do. We decided I will continue wearing the prayer covering to church, and around the house for devotions with the children, and leave it at that. He said don't change anything that has been in the routine the past few months. We have enough change coming in the next two months, keep what little routine we have.
Have a blessed evening.
~Carmelita

Plain Dress Revisited

2006-03-21T11:23:00.000-05:00

As most of you know, I struggle often with how to dress. I ran across a really neat website that has helped me out in my struggle. www.theholdemans.com I would suggest everyone should visit this site. They do a wonderful job in explaining the many emotions one goes through when things just don't add up anymore.
I know several of my readers struggle with not wearing a headcovering and wearing jeans, because you email me. =) That is fine, I am glad to hear your comments and know I am not alone on this journey.
For that reason, I am going to share with you an article from www.theholdemans.com
~Carmelita

Should

Christians Wear

Plain

Clothes?

Or should they follow Christ's example who dressed "just like the world"?

The Clothing Issue

Among certain religious groups, "plain" clothing is a paramount element of their faith. It is believed by sincere Christians that God desires His people to dress distinctively in order to be non-conformed to the world. This outward distinction makes a firm demarcation between the world and the Christian—but it also makes a firm demarcation between Christian and Christian. Those in plain groups will relocate to another state in order to find a plain group with which they harmonize, but they will almost never accept or attend a non-plain Christian church down the street.

Is this regrettable separation in the body of Christ necessary?

For seventeen years the authors wore "plain" clothing, believing it to be pleasing to God. They respectfully acknowledge that others who wear plain clothing from a heart desiring to please God are indeed pleasing Him. The Bible says he who eats meat does so for the Lord and he who eats vegetables only does so for the Lord, and none of us should go against his conscience and none should judge another man’s servant.

The hope of this little study is to encourage those who dress "plain" to understand why other Christians do not—and for those who do not dress "plain" to understand why some Christians do. May we always accept one another, having unity in the essentials and charity in the non-essentials.

Must Christian Men

Wear the Beard?

All Jews were required to wear untrimmed beards, according to Lev. 19:27: "Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard."

This is straight out of the Mosaic Law. Just a few verses away are commands of equal value prohibiting cross-breeding cattle, using hybrid seed, eating fruit of your orchard in the first five years, and wearing clothing made with two fibers (such as cotton/polyester). Is it consistent to make the beard a Christian doctrine and ignore the surrounding commands? The Bible says, "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

Of course, Christians have been freed from the Mosaic law. (Gal. 5:18, Eph. 2:18) Any remaining binding parts of the Mosaic law have been repeated in New Testament precepts.

There is another verse that is used to support a mandatory beard and that is Romans 9:20, "shall the thing formed say to him that formed it, Why hast thou made me thus?"

A reading of the whole passage will reveal that God is speaking about His sovereign right to bring some to power and others not, to give some the birthright and others not. When the question is asked, "Why hast thou made me thus" it is speaking of the circumstances and privileges of one’s birth and life. It has absolutely nothing to do with physical attributes!

But even were this verse saying we shouldn’t change how God made us, then why do men constantly cut their hair, since the Lord made men’s hair to grow down to their waist? Why do men shave parts of their beard if the Lord put the whiskers there, too? Why do women remove the hair on their legs that God put there? Or trim fingernails? Why does anyone put braces on teeth or straighten crooked limbs or correct birth defects, if that verse means we should not change the way God has made us?

A beard on a man is a distinctive badge of manhood. But it can never scripturally be made an issue of obedience to God.

The "Sin" of Casual Dress

It is hard to know just where this idea came from. There is not even a verse in the Bible to be able to discuss such a prohibition. The most that can be said is that Jesus wore what his countrymen wore. He certainly did not wear something more formal. If you wish to follow His example, sit at the entrance to Walmart and see what your countrymen consider appropriate town wear. Watch Christians enter their churches and see what is the cultural norm. If you are not in a primitive country where they go naked, that’s what Jesus would have worn.

It is an interesting inconsistency that some groups will adjust their clothing to fit the culture and climate on the mission field, such as short sleeves and sandals without nylons. Yet when their own culture is wearing the same thing in the same temperature, they appear in public dressed very formally—and hot.

Another oddity is that, despite their dislike of "causualness," and preference for formality, men in plain groups forego a tie, which is the very symbol of formal wear in this culture...

If Pants are Men’s Clothing,

Why Did Jesus Wear a Skirt?

To quickly forestall offense at the above statement, consider that the Bible actually calls the male Jewish garb a skirt. (Psa 133:2; 1 Sam 15:27)

Deut. 22:5 forbids a man putting on a woman’s garment and a woman putting on a man’s garment. Does this mean Christian women may not wear pants?

Again, this verse is right out of the Mosaic Law. Just verses away is the command to stone your rebellious son, stone your wife if she was not a virgin at marriage, build a parapet around your roof, wear fringes on your garment, not wear clothes with two fibers (like cotton/polyester), not sow hybrid seed, and not allow any man who is wounded in the privy parts (as in prostrate surgery) to enter the church of the Lord. How can we be consistent if we emphasize verse 5 and ignore the other verses?

However, if we insisted on plucking out this verse, we still must answer the question: Are pants inherently men’s clothing?

And if they are, what brand of pants did Jesus wear?

Of course, Jesus did not wear pants. Jesus wore what we would call a shift or dress with a shawl over it. Jesus wore what all the men of his day wore—and all the women, too. The shape of the garment was the same for both, the distinction between men’s and women’s being in color or accessories. Jesus was wearing men’s clothing when he wore a "dress." Mary and Martha were wearing women’s clothing when they wore a "dress."

Throughout history, styles have varied. In Scotland and England, men’s clothing was (and on certain occasions still is) a very short skirt called a kilt. In the orient, women’s clothing has been a trouser suit. In India, women’s clothing includes harem-style pants beneath a sari. Whether a garment has leggings or no leggings is immaterial. Yet in each culture, the boundaries between men and women’s clothing has been recognized.

In America and most of the world, pants have for more than a half-century been recognized as women’s clothing. They are made to fit women’s shapes in the colors women prefer, and they are sold in women’s departments.

Some might argue that pants reveal a woman’s form more than a dress. This depends on the pants and on the dress. Any style of clothing can be worn seductively, which is never fitting for a Christian. God wants us to cover our bodies in suitable, well-arranged attire, but He has not asked us camouflage the form. Besides this, pants actually reveal more areas of the male form than female. Why are pants then modest for men but not for women?

We know that cross-dressing and transvestitism is abominable, being closely related to homosexuality. But Deut. 22:5 is not speaking of forbidding a certain culturally accepted style of dress.

An interesting question to ponder is this: Just how did a man in the days of the Old Testament law violate Deut. 22:5? He was already wearing a dress like the women....how did he "put on a woman's garment"? And how did a woman back then commit the abomination? How did she dress in men's clothing? It certainly was not by putting on pants, because men did not wear pants! The only answer is that since both men and women wore dresses, the violation of this command was wearing accessories or perhaps colors that were regarded as proper only for the opposite sex.

Likewise, a Christian man today should not wear something recognized as feminine, neither should a woman dress in clothing that society recognizes as strictly male.

In our society, it is respectful and acceptable for women to wear slacks to work, church, funerals, and even governmental state affairs. A Christian woman is wearing recognized woman's clothing when she wears respectable pants.

The Headcovering

The cap or veil is probably the most important issue to the plain groups. It is the watershed between "plain" Christians and those the plain groups would consider "worldly" Christians. Therefore, it is of utmost importance to carefully examine what the Bible actually says on this major issue. Since the Bible was written in Greek, the actual meaning is always better understood by examining those originial word meanings. Here are the pertinent verses, with the important words in their original language:

Verse 4: "Every man praying or prophesying, having his head covered dishonoreth his head"

Covered: kata: something down over: "to hang down from the head"

Verse 5: "But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth with her head uncovered dishonoreth her head"

Uncovered: akatakalupto--a combination of three words. (a) not or negative (kata) something down over ( kalupto) covered. The word means uncovered or not having something hanging down over to hide or cover the head.

Verse 6: "For if the woman be not covered (doesn’t have something hanging down over her head), let her also be shorn: but if it be a shame for a woman to be shorn or shaven, let her be covered (have something hanging down over the head).

Shorn:Keiro: to shear or shave very close like a sheep. When talking of humans, this word is always used to mean "shave"

Shear: xurao:To shave with a razor

So far, there is not one word mentioned about fabric coverings. But there is talk about hair, i.e.. shearing and shaving hair. More about hair follows…..

Verse 14: Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?

Have Long hair:Komao: To wear tresses of hair: Have long hair

Verse 15a:But if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her.

Have Long hair:Komao: To wear tresses of hair: Have long hair

Glory: doxa: Dignity, praise, honor, glory

And Now Comes the Only Word in This Whole Passage

That Means Something Made of Fabric!

Verse 15b: For her hair is given her for a covering.

For: anti: instead of, in place of, as a substitute

Click here to see over 100 occurrences of "anti" and its usage in the New Testament and the Greek Septuagint Old Testament.

Covering: Peribolian: mantle, veil, vesture, cloak, wrap, cape, outer garment, headdress.

Other translations accurately reflect the original Greek wording:

"But woman, if she have long hair, it is glory to her; for the long hair is given to her in lieu of a veil." DARBY

"nor that hair is a woman’s glory, for hair is given as a substitute for coverings." ISV

"but on a woman it is a thing of beauty. Her long hair has been given her to serve as a covering." GNB

"and a woman, if she have long hair, a glory it is to her, because the hair instead of a covering hath been given to her" YLT

"because her hair has been given her instead of a veil" MON

The NIV version has this in the footnote: "If a woman has no covering, let her be for now with short hair, but since it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair shorn or shaved, she should grow it again"

THE ACTUAL WORDING IN THE ORIGINAL GREEK

Photocopy of Interlinear Greek-English New Testament

by J.P. Green, Baker Book House

JP Green, lifelong scholar of the original languages and translator of the Interlinear Greek-English New Testament, says this about the headcovering passage: "The way that I read the Greek and understand the message is that woman’s hair is sufficient cover in the assembly. This I conclude because the contrast is being shorn, and not being shorn. To my knowledge there is no requirement that a woman wear a fabric hat at any time, much less at all times."

==============================================================

ARGUMENT #1: If the covering is the hair, then men would have to shave their heads.

This would be true if the Bible said the covering is simply "hair." But the Greek wording says, "a woman But if she wears long hair a glory to her it is? Because the long hair instead of a covering [ fabric veil] has been given to her."

Therefore, the man is not to have "something hanging down over" his head and the woman should have "something hanging down over" her head. (It is an interesting inconsistency that some fabric head coverings do not drape at all, but are skullcaps giving the woman a cropped-haired appearance and making her silhouette almost identical with a mans!)

Long hair provides "something hanging down." Some have asked, What is long? The word for long hair does not mean "uncut," so each Christian woman must rely on the Holy Spirit for direction in this. Could it be that what is considered long on a man is also long enough for a woman? Could it be that the importance is in the difference between men’s and women’s hair length, not necessarily the length itself?

As the Bible indicates when it says, "Doth not nature itself teach you?" most cultures practice distinction between the sexes through hair length, even those of races with tightly-coiled wool type of hair that bushes out rather than veils down.

Can we take our cue from the lengths for men and women that are recognized as appropriate among Christians in our own culture?

A Goorious God-given Veil

.

ARGUMENT #2: It makes no sense for the long hair to be the covering, because if a woman won’t cover her head (with long hair) then she should cut it off—well, it’s already cut off!

This would indeed not make sense if the passage said a woman who won’t cover her head (with long hair) should cut her hair short. But the Greeks words translated "shorn" and "shaven" do not mean simply "cut short." These words mean shorn like a sheep or shaven with a razor. So, it makes perfect sense that a woman who won’t cover her head with long hair (meaning she has short mannish hair) should just go ahead and finish the job by shaving it off! Her short hair serves no purpose as a covering, so she might as well be bald. And the fact that it is a shame for a woman to be shaven is seen today in the baldheaded cancer victims who invariably cover their heads. Bald men are no disgrace, but women instinctively have a horror of appearing in public bald, as women undergoing chemotherapy can attest.

ARGUMENT #3: Yes, a woman’s hair is a glory to her, but in humility and modesty she should not show that glory. Her glorious hair should be only for her husband to see, not displayed for all the world to see.

This is an interesting theory that sounds pious—but again, the Bible simply does not say anything of the sort. If we are to understand the plain words of God, we must not add man’s words.

This thought is also contrary to other usages of the word "glory." In the Old Testament an old man’s white hair is his glory. Shall he cover that glory in modesty? A young man’s strength is his glory. Shall he only lift heavy objects in front of his wife? Flowers have glory. Shall we throw a tarp over our flowerbeds? The sun, moon, and stars all have a certain glory, and God does not require them to be hidden. Like a sunset or the colors of a butterfly or the mane of a horse, God created glorious beauty—and it brings honor to Him as creator!

If the woman should in modesty hide the hair God gave as her glory, then man should hide his wife, for God gave her to be his glory. To be consistent with this thought of covering glory, husbands should require women to wear the Islamic burkha, so that none might see the glory.

ARGUMENT #4: Just because the Bible says her hair is given her for a covering, it doesn’t mean her hair should replace that covering! She has a natural covering to show her natural place in creation, and she should wear an additional covering over that to show her voluntary submission to her spiritual role.

An interesting thought, but again the Bible doesn’t say anything of the sort. This is, pure and simple, man adding to the Word of God, which Revelation says is a very risky thing to do! Besides that, the word anti (translated "for" in the KJV) means instead of, to replace, in lieu of, as a substitute, in exchange, to serve as, because of. Here is how the word anti is used in the Bible. Notice that in every case comparing two things, it always denotes substitution or exchange of one thing for another.

NEW TESTAMENT:

Matt. 2:22 Archlaus did reign in the room (anti) of his father Herod

5:38 An eye for (anti) an eye, and a tooth for (anti)

17:27 give unto them for (anti) me and thee.

20:28 given his life a ransom for (anti) many.

Luke 11:11 will he for (anti) fish give him a

Rom. 12:17 recompense no man evil for (anti) evil

1 Cor. 11:15 her hair is given her for (anti) a covering

Heb. 12:2 who for (anti) one morsel of meat sold his birthright

OLD TESTAMENT GREEK SEPTUAGINT

Occurances of the Word "anti" and how it has been translated

appointed me another seed instead of Abel

a burnt offering in the stead of his son

Am I in God’s stead

gave them bread in exchange for horses

priest in his stead

other stones, and put them in the place of those stones

the children of Israel instead of all the firstborn

instead of all the firstborn

the cattle of the Levites instead of all the firstlings

Take the Levites instead of all the firstborn

the cattle of the Levites instead of their cattle

instead of such as open every womb, even instead of the firstborn

ye are risen up in your fathers’ stead

whom he raised up in their stead

take her, I pray thee, instead of her.

Amasa captain of the host instead of Joab

thou hast made thy servant king instead of David

Made him king instead of his father

His son reigned in his stead

Instead of the children of Israel

Made him king in his father’s stead

Made him king in his father’s stead

Queen instead of Vashti

Instead of thy fathers shall be thy children

If your soul were in my soul’s stead

Let thistles grow instead of wheat and cockle instead of barley

Instead of sweet smell, there shall be stink

Instead of a girdle a rent

Instead of well-set hair baldness

Instead of a stomacher a girding of sackcloth

Burning instead of beauty

Instead of the thorn shall come up the fir tree

Instead of the briar shall come up the myrtle

Which reigned instead of Josiah

The Lord hath made thee priest in the stead of Johoiada

Josiah reigned instead of Coniah

*There are over 100 occurances of the Greek word "anti." For a complete list of every single occurance of the word "Anti" in the Greek New Testament and the Greek Septuagint, click here

ARGUMENT #5: The early church fathers wrote about veils.

Some of the early church fathers did indeed teach wearing of a veil, but several of the most vocal recommended it cover the face and be as long as uncut hair, which is at least to the waist or even to the knees. It was the custom for hundreds of years into the early church, especially in North Africa, for all decent women to appear in public completely veiled with a burkha-type covering.

If those men’s writings are our authority, we should be consistent and wear a blanket over the head. We should also fast so often that we are gaunt, for one of the same men said that skinny people get into heaven quicker than plump people. We should also practice lifelong celibacy in marriage, as some of these same church fathers also taught! These were men, like us, with strengths and weaknesses. They were our brethren in Christ, but their writings were no more inspired than any of ours.

The Bible alone is the pure Truth and our only authority—and it says her hair is given her instead of a fabric veil.

Is could be prudent and respectful, however, to conform to local custom by wearing a veil in cultures that demand it. Commentator Matthew Henry says about the veil, "[they would be] odd...if they would quarrel for a custom to which all the churches of Christ were at that time utter strangers, or against a custom in which they all concurred."

ARGUMENT #6: The Bible says, "We have no such custom." This word actually should be translated "other" as in, "We have no other custom [than that women cover their heads ]

On what basis? The word translated "such" is used in the New Testament 61 times, and not in one of those instances is it translated "other." Nor would it be possible to replace any of the 61 occurrences with "other" without making the verses nonsensical. It is a very dangerous thing to change the Word of God.

ARGUMENT #7: I finally just prayed to God and it felt right to wear a fabric covering. Plus, my minister had a vision and God told him it was true.

If we can set aside clear Bible teaching in favor of what "feels right," or what someone tells us, then we don’t need the Bible in the first place! Also God says the value of dreams compared to the worth of the Word of God is like chaff to wheat: (Jer. 23:28)

ARGUMENT #8: My fabric veil makes a distinction between me and the world and is a good opportunity to witness.

Does the New Testament instruct anyone to show their Christianity by distinctive dress? Christian women are to dress modestly, but the Greek word for "modest," kosmios, simply means well-arranged and orderly. (In fact, this word comes from kosmos, which translates "world’ in the Bible, meaning orderly adornment!) Jesus condemned the Pharisees for distinctive dress--for enlarging the borders of their robes. The difference in their garments from the average citizen could be seen across the market place—this is how they displayed their religiosity. Jesus also condemned judging by outward appearance. Why should Christians then employ that same outward appearance as a tool for witnessing? Is it a tool for witnessing for Christ or witnessing for plain dress? The Bible says we are to be non-conformed by the renewing of our minds, not our wardrobe! We are to be ready to give a reason for the hope that is within us, not to explain our strange clothes.

ARGUMENT # 9: Why does the Apostle Paul go to such trouble if all he wanted to say was than man should wear short hair and woman long. Was it just cultural?

The Bible doesn’t say anything about this passage being merely cultural, so it is a dangerous thing to dismiss it as such. Nevertheless, most commentaries will say that prostitutes in that city had their head shaved for identification purposes and respectable women went veiled. Perhaps prostitutes were being converted and entering the church services with shaven heads, in which case they would need to wear a veil until their natural veil grew out. Or perhaps because there were legalists who wanted a cultural norm to be recognized as a Christian doctrine, Paul was agreeing that women should come before God properly covered—but that their "long hair is sufficient to serve as a veil. And if anyone wants to be contentious, we have no such custom, neither the churches of God."

We can only speculate about the reason Paul approached the subject as he did or about the cultural issues involved, but none of these speculations should overrule what is actually written in the Word of God. Besides, it is unlikely that a convert from a backward country will know anything about the customs of ancient Corinth—but he can read the plain Word of God, which simply says a woman’s long hair is given to her instead of a veil.

[One time the author’s wife was trying to convince a Spanish-speaking woman of the validity of wearing a cap. They looked into the Spanish Bible, and my wife was shocked and silenced to see, "en lugar de velo le es dado el cabello." Her hair is given to her in place of a veil.]

Can we not take this passage at face value?

ARGUMENT #10: But the headcovering is to be a symbol of authority!

The Bible does not mention a symbol. It says: "For this cause ought a woman to have power on her head because of the angels." The word power in the Greek means "power of choice, liberty of doing as one pleases, power of authority." In whatever way that relates to her submission to man, "power" on her head is still shown by her long veil of hair.

ARGUMENT #11: Why have Christian women worn hats to church throughout the centuries? Didn’t they discontinue it only when the women’s liberation movement began?

Wearing headgear was for centuries an almost universal cultural custom for Christians and non-Christians. It is said that early Christians hiding in the catacombs could be detected by their pale skin—not any distinction in headgear. Likewise, the Anabaptist could fade undetected into the crowd—their headgear was the same as their neighbors.

This longstanding cultural custom may have influenced some great men of the faith to view 1 Cor. 11:1-16 as commanding women to wear hats to church, which would be proper in those settings.

When the custom of wearing hats in public was discontinued, they stopped being seen in most churches, also. This change in culture came long before the women’s liberation movement of the 1960’s. In 1946 film footage of Prussian Mennonites being rescued from Berlin holding camps, the majority of the women are not wearing headgear in church.

Today in all the true Christian churches, women wear their hair longer than men. They also accept the teaching behind the covered and uncovered head—submission to the chain of authority established by God. May we all be obedient to this!

Modest Apparel

When a Christian women from a plain group sees a Christian from a non-plain group, she can’t help feeling that her sister should allow God to change her outward appearance. Cut, curled, permed, or dyed hair; makeup, jewelry, and stylish clothing! What does the Bible mean when it talks about modest apparel?

"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array" ( 1Tim 2:10)

"Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart" (1 Pet. 3:3)

There are two ways to look at these parallel passages. (1) Christian women are forbidden to use the adornments listed. (2) Christian women are not to rely on outward adornment as the source of their true worth and beauty.

The vast majority of Christian commentators favor the second view. As one commentator said, " Peter did not state that women should not wear jewelry and nice clothes, but that Christian wives should not think of outer attire as the source of genuine beauty."

These two views have very different results! We must let the original language of the Bible define the term, "modest." The Greek word is kosmios, which comes from the word, kosmos, translated "world" in about 150 places in the New Testament. Kosmos simply means "orderly adornment" and it is where we get our modern-day word cosmetics.

It’s close relative, kosmios or modest means "properly, orderly, decorous, becoming." Therefore, the literal meaning in the Bible of adorning ourselves in modest apparel is to be adorned or decorated in a becoming, orderly way.

If we accept the view that we are forbidden to use outward adornment, we must be consistent in rejecting all outward adornments listed in these passages: braiding the hair (yes, this includes schoolgirl plaits), wearing gold, or pearls, or costly array, and putting on apparel.

Of course, the command to not put on clothes poses a problem with this interpretation!

Could this passage be a of similar construction of another passage, Labour not for the meat which perisheth, but for that meat which endureth unto everlasting life. Obviously, even though Jesus says labour not, we understand that He is not actually forbidding us to work for our daily food, but is making a contrast between a lesser and a greater "labour." Are the passages on women’s adornment simply making a contrast of priorities in the same way? If so, then none of those adornments would be wrong—neither jewelry, makeup, hairstyling, nor pretty clothes, if used decently and with propriety. And if we realize they are infinitely less important than the true beauty from within.

A passage about sensuous, haughty women (Isa 3:16) has often been quoted to denounce outward adornment, but the emphasis in this passage is the women’s wanton, mincing, seductive heart.

Men’s carnal temptations are the same now as in Old Testament times. If the use of outward adornment incites lust, why did God himself say to Jerusalem, " I decked thee also with ornaments, and I put bracelets upon thy hands, and a chain on thy neck. And I put a jewel on thy forehead and earrings in thine ears, and a beautiful crown upon thine head. Thus wast thou decked with gold and silver; and thy raiment was of fine linen, and silk, and broidered work….and thou wast exceeding beautiful" (Eze. 16:11-13). Why would God use those images if outward adornment were sin?

All Christians know we should not be wanton or lust-provoking in our hearts or clothing, but we differ in our idea of what is decent and proper. What about short sleeves? What about shorts? Does the Bible tell how much to cover?

Some have quoted a passage (Isa 47:2) that portrays the shame and hardship of slavery, where a once tender and delicate woman is now forced to sit in the dust without her veil, grinding meal, and hiking up her skirts to trudge across the rivers. This is a description of slavery and conquest, not a commentary on how much leg to show.

The Bible does not tell us how much of our arms and legs to cover, but we do know that Jesus wore what his neighbors wore—a knee-length or ankle-length tunic, and an outer mantle. They also wore open-toed sandals. It seems that bare feet, arms, and legs, at least below the knee, were not an issue. They should not be an issue to us, either.

There are Christian women who sincerely believe they should wear long-sleeved, voluminous dresses in muted colors with black stockings. In order not to violate their conscience, they probably should continue to do so. However, it should be a concern to them whether they are actually showing true modesty— being adorned in a seemly, unobtrusive, becoming way.

There are other Christian women who sincerely believe they are free to wear shorts and a sleeveless shirt. It should be a concern to them that in their freedom, they practice restraint and reject the sensual excesses of today’s styles.

May all Christian women seek that inner beauty of a meek and quiet spirit—one that would accept in love our fellow sister in Christ, whether she wears "plain" garb or whether she dresses with propriety in the styles of her culture.

Uncertainty

2006-03-20T17:16:00.000-05:00

The only think that is certain in our life is that we are moving. I almost hate to utter them words as I fear that will change as well.
We are now looking at apartments. Thinking about fixing up an old house while trying to provide the children a private, Christian education would be hard. We have grown accustomed to traveling throughout the area in which we live, and there is too much to do in NC to not be able to have the money to do so. Savannah, Georgia; Myrtle Beach, SC; Charleston, SC; Williamsburg, VA; Washington DC are just a few locations on my list of places that MUST be seen. We, of course, could go back to our original plan of buying a new house, thus no real repairs, but our BAH (Basic Allowance for Housing) is $1122. and I would like that to cover mortgage or rent, and the electric as well.
DH had a great idea for a garden. Buy one of those little blow up pools for children, fill it with top soil, and plant some veggies. I like that idea. I also have 12 pots that I can use for tomato plants. I really want to have some sort of "garden" wherever we live.
This afternoon I took the Pastoral Recommendation paper by so our pastor can "hopefully" recommend the children for private school. They both need the pastor's recommendation as well as one from their teacher. Of course I will use Jesse's favorite teacher to write his recommendation. I am not worried about Courtney. She has made straight A's all year except for one B. She cried and cried while I tried to reassure her that Harvard would still be interested in her even though she made one B in 5th grade reading. She is such a perfectionist it drives me crazy.
Deciding what to send with the movers and what to take ourselves is becoming harder. I have no idea how to pack. Will we leave our household goods in storage for longer because we still do not have a place to stay? The one thing I do know, everything for the cruise must go with us. How many pots and dishes do I take, how much bedding to sleep on do we need, how many outfits should go, are some of the decisions I am trying to make. I already know that everyone is going to want their TV and computer to go with us, which will not happen. Yes, everyone in this house has their own TV and computer. Crazy, I know. What is even crazier is that some nights dh and I communicate by instant messenger. At least the children don't know what we are talking about. LOL
Well tonight is basketball practice and then diving. Courtney does not know it yet, but she will make swimmer/diver of the month this month. Coach already told me, so I am happy for her. She has wanted it ever since she started swimming/diving.
Well I am off to get dinner ready and hang some clothes up.
Have a blessed day!
~Carmelita

Snow Pictures

2006-03-19T16:20:00.000-05:00

House Problems

2006-03-18T19:48:00.000-05:00

This week has been an interesting week. Three weeks before we were to close on our new home in Raeford, NC, we find out that it only has 1640 sq ft heated and a total of 1702 sq ft total. Our realtor had been telling us it had between 1800 and 1900 sq ft total. We fired her due to misrepresentation, though she denies it. I would advise no one to use REMAX realtors or Lucy Ham.
We now have a wonderful new real estate agent who is actually working with us. He has his own website where I can actually see pictures of the house. We never even saw a picture before, as Lucy kept promising to send us pictures, but never did.
Now we have a huge dilemma. Courtney was looking at houses and found this real neat property about 30 miles from post. Part of the house dates back to the Civil War era, has a barn with a pasture, so we could have a horse, or goats, or other farm animals. It sits on 1-2 acres, has an in ground Olympic size pool, pool house and a main house with 2800-3000 sq ft. The house has several fireplaces, sunroom, 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, formal living room, and den. This would be a great house. The house is almost $15,000.00 cheaper than the one we were going to buy. DH does not want it because he said it was too far from work, (though it would take about the same amount of time the other house would have) and he does not think we are ready to live in the country. He said it would be too much work for me to do because he doesn't think the children would help out. I really am ready to live in the country and have a garden, live a slower paced life and feel a little more in touch with where I "think" God wants me.
The other house we are looking at is only a few minutes from post, has five bedrooms, two and a half baths, 2000-2200 sq ft, has a den, and three other rooms, in ground pool, and sits on less than a acre. Since this is in town, no animals (for some reason I think it would be nice having goats to have fresh goat's milk). This house is $5,000.00 more than the "farm", but the seller will pay up to $2500 in closing cost; $1000 paint allowance; $3500 carpet/vinyl allowance.
I know dh is stressed right now and asked me to not even mention housing in NC this weekend. I got upset earlier because he shot down the farm right away. I am just tired of living in the city, and not being able to do all the things you can do in the country. I just need to learn to cheerfully submit to dh wishes and not be upset when we don't see eye to eye on things.
I just know that I have movers here in two weeks and I still have no idea what to pack. I told dh that I feel like a bon a fide Army wife because nothing is going as planned.
I am just tired of sitting at the computer all day. I want a big garden, animals, chores, cooking, and other things to do to occupy my time.
Have a blessed day!
~Carmelita

Spring Break

2006-03-14T20:16:00.000-05:00

Spring Break is here this week, and I have been busier than ever. Sunday night Courtney had a couple of the boys in the neighborhood over to watch Red Eye. Then yesterday she went and spent the night with her friend, who is here tonight. Jesse had a friend over last night and again tonight. During the day he went to an indoor swimming pool with his friend. Tonight I went and rented Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and figure a few more children in the neighborhood might drop by. I made a big ole pasta dish that has penne, chicken, broccoli, and Alfredo sauce. I will have a lot of leftovers, but that is ok.
I bought Krispy Kreme donuts for tomorrow morning, so no need to get up early to get them all breakfast.
I am not sure how the rest of the week will play out. There is no dive practice this week and no basketball, so I am feeling lost. =)
It snowed here Saturday night, and I took a picture out my front window on Monday. It is so pretty, so when my blog allows me to upload the picture, I will share it with you. =)
~Carmelita

Feeling Better

2006-03-10T12:41:00.000-05:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that I am feeling better. I did increase my Xanax dose for the past few days, and am feeling more in control.
Today I signed the contract for the cleaning team for when we move. It was only $400.00 inside and out, for which I think was a wonderful deal. My house is not the cleanest in the world. It is not that easy to mop on my hands and knees.
This morning I spent some time cross stitching. I have not done any cross stitching in months, so thought it would be a great thing to resume. When I was hospitalized after my rape back in 92, cross stitching was something that I did during occupational therapy time.
I am also venturing out on my cooking. I have been combing Bon Appetit, Gourmet, and Food and Wine for new and exciting recipes. Spending time in the kitchen cooking new foods can be relaxing and fun. I am also trying new drink recipes. Chambord is becoming a fast favorite to experiment with. Taking 1 oz Chambord and 1 1/2 oz white wine and adding ginger ale, sprite, or club soda is a nice relaxing drink. Drinking that makes me think of summertime and soft breezes blowing, and the scent of flowers in full bloom.
I am ready for spring and the move to the East Coast. I am so looking forward to trips to the beach, museums, battlefields, CULTURE. LOL
Have a wonderful day in the Lord.
~Carmelita

Depression

2006-03-08T16:11:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, I struggle from depression. This week, I have sunk to new lows. I am talking about "needing to be hospitalized" lows. The children and their activities force me to do things in the evenings, but I can hardly get out of bed during the day. When I am up, I just cry all the time and am so anxious to get back in bed. I had an appointment with my VA provider yesterday but she refused to do anything since I am moving in a month. I have an appointment with the civilian doctor off post (because the Army does not provide mental health care on post) in two weeks, but I wonder if I can hang on that long. I am on Xanax and Valium, among other meds, and they are not working. I stopped doing PT because I do not have the energy to go there and work out and it is not helping any.
Ivan thinks that once we move from the desert I will be ok, but I am thinking I will never leave here.
My household goods are due to be packed on April 3rd, so I am only a few weeks away. In the meantime, I have so much that I must get done before the move, and I have no strength to do it.
Bless my dh heart, he tries to get me excited about moving from here, but to be honest, I don't want to go to Ft. Bragg. I want to go home. I want my old life back, the one I had before I was married when I was carefree and could come and go as I pleased. I love my children dearly, but they are not performing at the level I want them to. My dd has the ability to get a dive scholarship if she would just try, but she is quitting on me. My ds wants to stay indoors and play computer games all day. I sit and look at them and want to pull my hair out. They are given everything they could possibly want, they have a mom and a stepdad who believe in them, they could reach the stars if they wanted, they just don't. It wasn't like me when I was growing up, unable to play sports, learn music or dance, or have friends. My children are given all that. I don't want my children to miss what life has out there. I don't want them to become me.
We are looking at putting them in a private school next year, and I am praying that will help. I want more for my children than a minimum wage job. I want my children to be leaders not followers.

Joy Of The Lord

2006-02-27T10:04:00.000-05:00

Matthew 25:21 & 23 talks about the "Joy of the Lord". The bible makes many mentions of the word "joy". Looking this up in my Strong's Concordance I found it to mean calm delight, joyfulness, and gladness. Somewhere along the road of life, I have lost my joy. It hit me yesterday while sitting in church, there is no joy in life. I have looked back to when I last had it, and it was while I was in Lufkin, TX and attending First Assembly of God and before I went on this plain journey.
Talking to dh on Saturday he told me that he knew that I would not be happy in being "Mennonite" and when they would not accept me, he knew I would not stick it out. He was right, I just can't hang on to something when I am not wanted.
But while on my plain journey I picked up some bad traits. I became harsh, critical, unloving, not joyful at all. Everything had to fit this one little TINY mold and there was no room for anything. I felt like it was a sin to listen to music that was not at least 100 years old. I had been told how "evil and satanic" music from Africa was and that included the drum beat. Yesterday in church we had the Watoto children's choir all the way from Uganda Africa there. All I could think about was yes the music sounds lovely, but it has the drum beat. I relaxed a little when the children sang "What a Friend We Have In Jesus" but was looking around for Satan because it had a drum beat to the song.
I realized then that I really do have a problem. Jesus wants me to enjoy life, and I am not. I only looked for the bad in somebody because, hey, I am to be a fruit inspector and judge every action, word and deed by the Bible standards. Guess what, everyone failed!!!! The more "holy" they came across, the more inconsistencies I was seeing. I would just get angrier and angrier that a so called Christian would act in such an unholy and unloving way.
My mother has listened to me complain and moan, as have some of my plain German Baptist friends and they all told me this. The teachings of the online plain people were not the teachings I had gained as a child, and that I needed to leave it all behind before it ruined me. I can't begin to say how many times I would pick up the phone and call a minister's wife, or my mom, or someone else in the church, read an email and then go off on why it upset me so. Even an ultra conservative Mennonite friend I have called in PA and I almost cry sometimes talking to her. I would say, "Please tell me this is not how you believe". She would always laugh and say "Ahh Carmelita, why do you let them get to you so."
I am hoping that in six weeks that I will be able to find a wonderful church where I can begin to grow. I almost destroyed my family on the journey of my seeking. I need to find a church where grace and love and forgiveness is preached. I need to learn how to let go of my past and embrace the future.
God wants me to be happy in Him. If I want to dance around the house and sing praise and worship songs to Him, I am sure He would be delighted.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

As Good As I Get

2006-02-24T09:03:00.000-05:00

This was basically what my physical therapist told me yesterday when I asked about how much longer the pain would last when I sleep. I was told that when I lay down, how I feel now is about as good as I will get. I must admit, I was disappointed. Every morning I hurt so bad in my back that it is hard to move. Before my surgery, I only had this sort of pain when I had a flare up, now I have it daily, and little chance of it getting better. I must admit, I am discouraged. I think overall, that the surgery was a huge mistake, but dh was the one who really wanted me to have it. He thought it would make me better. I think, it has made me worse. I can no longer lay in bed for more than a few minutes and I hurt. I now want a Lazy Boy for Christmas. I am thinking that maybe if I sleep in one of those, I might have some relief.
The weather is beginning to get warm here. Yesterday the children were outside playing in the afternoon. Next week we are to have highs in the mid to upper 70's.
DH is working late and getting up early these days. I seem to have more and more alone time and it is getting to me. I am so tired of staying inside the house, having no friends, and having little to do. Other than being a taxi and taking the children to their events, and going to PT, I have no life. I sit inside my little domain. DH has said that he wants me to start back to college in the fall, but see no idea how we could afford that. We are looking at putting the children in a private Christian school next year, and the cost would be about $1,000.00 a month for both of them. I don't see me going back to school until we get the children out of college.
I really do not like it here. I am dying inside and dh tells me to hang on, less than two months to go, but I have felt like I was dying spiritually, emotionally, and physically since we arrived. I miss my old church www.lufkin.org and all the activities they offered. If I were to admit it to myself and others, I was happy with my life, with my walk in the Lord, until I started visiting Anabaptist websites and joining their groups. Ever since then, I have hated life. I wonder all the time if this is right, is that right, and there is no peace of the Lord. That is why DH wanted me to give it all up, it was making me miserable. If it was truly for me and it was what God wanted for my life, I would have felt joy.
Well off to start another long, boring day. Every day I keep telling myself, just a few more weeks, just a few more weeks, you can do it, yes you can do it.
I have taken up the hobby of watching the Travel Channel in the mornings. I am making a long list of places I want to visit when time allows.
Less than two months till my cruise too!!! There is a God. =)
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Grand Canyon

2006-02-21T10:12:00.000-05:00

Since this past weekend was a four day weekend for my dh, and the last one we will have in AZ, we took the children out of school Friday and headed to the Grand Canyon. We saw more this time than we did in July, but the weather was not as nice. I honestly believe that late spring or early fall is the best time to visit this wonderful site.
Friday night we stayed at Grand Canyon Railroad Hotel in Williams, AZ. It is a lovely hotel that was family friendly. Even Spenser's (the bar) was family friendly and we went there late in the evening for a drink. Our waitress Tresha made this drink up for Valentine's Day called "A Peach Kiss". I am writing Food & Wine to let them know that they need to contact her for the recipe. It was simply delicious. Ivan ordered one and both Courtney and I had a sip and enjoyed it very much. Jesse will not try any drink that has alcohol in it, or even a virgin drink that was created for alcohol. We respect that, but we do want him to know that there is a huge difference between enjoying one or two cocktails and drinking a case of beer in an evening (which his dad does).
The hotel had a lovely large fireplace in the lobby that burned real wood. It was a delight to sit there on one of the couches and hear the crackling of wood and be warm. It makes me excited for living in NC as we will have a gas fireplace (not the same as wood, but still a fireplace).
Saturday morning we left for the Grand Canyon on the train. On the trip there we rode in the Observation Dome and had a wonderful steward named Derek. Once we arrived at the Grand Canyon we boarded a bus and took a tour of the southwestern rim. On this tour we made four stops, three to view the Canyon and one to eat a quick lunch buffet.
On the train ride back we were in the Parlor car. The children enjoyed that one better as we were sitting on couches instead of seats. Also on the way back "bandits" came aboard the train to rob us. That was the highlight for Jesse. He kept wondering when the bandits were coming.
The only thing I regret is not being able to spend the night at the Canyon at El Tovar Hotel. That would have been the icing on the cake.
For anyone interested in this trip go to www.thetrain.com
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Valentine's Day

2006-02-15T11:05:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was Valentine's Day and for Ivan I cooked a lovely dinner that I found in Bon Appetite magazine. We actually had a candlelit dinner without the children bothering us too much.
I have been thinking alot lately on what keeps a marriage alive. On my Separated Army Girlfriends site, there seems to be a constant array of girls who get dumped by their bf's after they come home from Iraq. They never make it to the marriage alter. Then there are the military Casualties of War. In Ivan's class now, of several instructor's, only one is still married to his original wife. All the others are divorced or divorced and remarried several times.
Right now, Ivan is in school where he can get home between 9:00 and 11:00 every night. That begins to take its toll on a marriage, but there is light at the end of the tunnel. School is only two months and then we move to Ft. Bragg and a rapid deployment unit. My dh could go anywhere in the world in a matter of a day and a half, not able to tell me where, and not having any idea how long he would be gone. No wonder that marriages fall apart at a high rate. There is only so much one can take.
I started subscribing to emails from I am bound and determined that our marriage will not be a Casualty of War.
I am trying to keep romance alive in our marriage but it is not easy. It is hard when you feel more like a mom and a maid than a wife.
I wonder if any of my readers have any idea on how to keep the romantic fires burning.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Super Bowl Sunday

2006-02-05T17:50:00.000-05:00

Well here it is, Super Bowl Sunday and only nine minutes away from kick-off. I am hoping that Seattle will win, as I am a Bengals fan, and I would like to see the Steelers lose.
Now I have a question for you. How many feel that watching the Super Bowl, or any "professional" sport is sin? The reason I ask this is because there are Christians out there who feel it is a sin. Actually, if you look at some Catholic literature, they will also say this. I am not Catholic, but find some of their beliefs interesting. The reason is this, the Mennonites and Amish came from the Catholic church, and still hold to some of their Catholic foundations. Since I have been looking at Mennonites in particular, I find the similarties glaring. I dated a catholic man for two years, and he was more messed up in the head than I was. Not saying Catholics are messed up in the head, just that some of his beliefs, or lack thereof were the cause of our breakup. He knew nothing of what he should or should not believe. He didn't even know about the twelve tribes of Israel, or how they came to be. He didn't even know who Joseph was (until he saw the cartoon) or Jonah, or even David. This was a 40 something year old man who went to mass almost every Sunday. I knew more of what the Catholics believed and why.
In my Assembly of God church this morning, our pastor preached on the Love of God (his usual sermon) as well as mentioning that we need to be careful of what we allow into our homes that comes from the world.
Just wanted to make some of you think for once. =)
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Odds And Ends

2006-02-02T10:16:00.000-05:00

There has been so much going on here lately, that I have not had the time to write. Physical Therapy is going good, though I ditched pool therapy. Even though the water was 86 degrees, it was too cold for me. It hurt the rods in my back, making me ache to the point of tears, so I decided to stay out of the pool. My PT was increased this week to add to my 20-30 min on the treadmill and some abdominal exercises, to now include the elliptical trainer, stationary bike, some weight machines for my legs and arms, and more (harder) abdominal exercises. I was told that I am doing great for being six weeks post op. I have to lay down still during the day, or at night I hurt so bad that I have to take pain pills and muscle relaxers to move in the morning. I still have to pay close attention to always having my body in proper alignment.
Ft. Bragg is getting closer and closer. Tuesday we went to transportation and arranged to have our household goods packed April 3rd and picked up April 4th. Our next door neighbors are moving to Bragg about the same time we are, as are one of the families on the street behind us, and we are all trying to get the same cleaning guy. This guy only charges around $200.00 when other cleaners charge $400.00. He only works on a first come, first serve basis, so trying to beat everyone else to locking him in is not easy. For those who do not know how the Army housing works when it comes to clearing, it goes like this. To be able to "clear" housing, you must have your house inspected, both in and out. The house must be spotless. The floors must be stripped, wax put down, then everything buffed out. No dust in the vents, or ceiling fans, oven clean, weeds removed from the rocks, and on and on. Now, if you clear housing yourself, they find little things to keep having you do over and over. You never leave. What you do is hire a cleaning team to do the work for you. You sign a contract saying how much you are paying them, they sign saying they will do the work, and you take the contract and the money order made out to the cleaning team to housing and they clear you. Then the cleaning team arrives, cleans your house, and the inspector checks on the cleaning team. When they pass, they get their money. I have only heard of one person ever clearing housing on their own. It is pretty much a given, you must hire a cleaning team.
I have the cleaning team coming out for a preinspection tomorrow to let me know what I can clean to drop the price. Now mind you, I have not been able to "clean" in months because of my back. It is still hard to stoop, or get on my hands and knees to mop, but I will do my best.
DH is getting ready for his next (and final) school. Next week is his last week in the school he is in, then it is off to his next school. Sunday we talked to a guy who finished this same school on Tuesday, so we have a heads up on what to expect. LONG hours. He said that the first month, he often would not get home until 11:00 PM. Ahh the joys of being a single parent again or an "intel widow" as I like to say. I am so proud of what dh will be doing, but the hours will not be all that fun.
We are planning a cruise in between the move to Ft. Bragg. A week of nothing but relaxation and fun will be nice. No beds to make, no meals to cook, nothing to clean, ahhh yes, I will be ready. We are all getting excited about it.
We were to close on our new house March 31st, but we managed to get it pushed back to April 10th for the walk through and the 11th for the closing. I am praying that the builders will get it done the way I asked. I will be ready for my jacuzzi tub. I know that the children at first will want to take baths in our tub, but as the newness wears off, hopefully their boring little bathtub will seem tolerable to them. That is always the highlight of going to dh parents house in West Palm (our "retirement" home) is that when dh drew up those house plans, he insured that the master bath would have the garden jacuzzi tub. I enjoy it when we our at our home in West Palm, so wanted it in our home at Bragg as well. It will be wonderful for my back as well.
Well I need to get off here and get some things done around the house. I need to try and get my floors mopped, and the baseboards wiped down before my PT appt at 1300. Tomorrow I just might clean my oven. =)
Have a wonderful day in the Lord.
~Carmelita

Pool Therapy

2006-01-26T11:22:00.000-05:00

I did pool therapy on Tuesday, and am to do it this afternoon at 1:00 as well. I am not sure what I think. I was cold the whole time I was in the pool even though it is heated at 86 degrees. Now I know why Courtney is so cold all the time when she is on the diving board. BRRR it is just cold. I have never been one to really get into swimming. I guess because I never swam much as a child, I just don't enjoy it all that much. I would rather lounge by the waters edge than get in.
My dh showed me the expenses that we have between now and the end of May, and we are so short on money. I just don't see how we can afford the cruise. I am trying to talk him into flying to NC without me to close on the house that we are building there. That will save over $400.00. Also some of the expenses he had down I had hoped to be able to pay myself. There is just so much money involved in a move. Add that move to a vacation, and buying a fridge for the home, and well, the cost just goes through the roof. I told the children last night that we had to get serious about saving as much as we can between now and April.
Maybe while the children are with their dad and stepmom over the summer, we can start to add some money to savings.
I pray you have a wonderful day today.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

24 Hour Bug

2006-01-23T16:38:00.000-05:00

I think our house was hit this weekend with the 24 hour bug. On Saturday night, Courtney was not feeling well, and by the time bedtime rolled around, had been thrown up all that was in her little stomach. Of course she wanted to lay with me in our bed, and it was a little crowded. Ivan, her and me on a queen size bed. I have to lay in a certain position, or I am so stiff in the morning I can hardly move. Well she fell asleep in there, and after about a hour, Ivan moved her to her room. During the night, she got sick again, and got back in bed with us. When Ivan woke up and realized she was in bed with us, he took her back to her own room. I hardly slept all night, and could not move without severe pain, so we stayed home from church. I worked on stretching to make my back loosen up, and by afternoon, Courtney was feeling fine. I hurt all day. I still hurt today but did manage to go to the gym and do 1.70 miles on the treadmill, and have done a few loads of laundry today and mopped the kitchen floor, and done a load of dishes. I stretched this morning, but need to do it again before I pick the children up from school. I am to stretch at least three times a day, if not four, and walk a mile at least once a day. The more walking and stretching I do, the better I will heal according to my physical therapist.
Last night we took the children bowling, and Courtney bowled over 100 for the first time ever. She is now a better bowler than me. I did not bowl, as I still do not lift much weight.
Today was just busy and it will continue that way tonight. Courtney has basketball and dive tonight (on post) while Jesse has Karate off post 15 minutes after Courtney has basketball practice. Ivan will have to take Courtney and I will have to take Jesse. Jesse is moving from the ATA to the WTA and I cannot find his certificates promoting him to camo belt. I am sure they are in some box somewhere. We still have little organization here, and we are getting ready to repack in two and a half months. I hope that by taking his belts in, his ATA card, and his equipment, it will be enough. I am sure with this being a military town, they understand that things often stay in boxes for a long period, especially when you are staying less than a year. I will deal with that so Ivan does not have to.
Have a wonderful day.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

The Weekend

2006-01-21T19:24:00.000-05:00

It seems hard to imagine that the weekend is here already. The week goes by so fast when I do PT every day. Next week, I am doing pool therapy on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so will do the treadmill the other days. Even though PT was closed today, I still went to the gym and did my 20 min on the treadmill. If I don't walk and stretch, I hurt. I have to move to feel better. My physical therapist is glad that I feel that way. He said most people do just the opposite and stay in bed. I am just excited at the weight I am beginning to lose.
I am so late for my period, so last night while at the Commissary, we bought an EPT pregnancy test. It said, "Not Pregnant" which was the news I wanted to hear. I do not want to be pregnant right after my spinal fusion. It will take six months for my spine to "fuse", so I am not in the mood to be pregnant until that time is up. Also, with my two previous children, I spent several months at home "resting", and I need to work out now more than ever. To go off my exercise regime would cause my back not to heal, and with my problems with miscarriages, now is not the time to be pregnant. I am actually beginning to think that Jesse and Courtney are enough. They will be going to college right when Ivan retires from the Army, so having a child beginning school would be a slight problem.
Today we went and watched "Last Holiday". It was a wonderful movie, and I was able to sit there for the two hours without too much pain. I will try church tomorrow, though the church pews are not as comfy as movie theater seats, so am not sure how well I will do. It hurts sitting in my vehicle.
The weekends are a diet ruiner for me. I have just had the munchies the last few hours, and am trying not to give in. I had a small piece of pizza, but other than that, am doing good.
I pray that you have a wonderful weekend.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

One Year Anniversary

2006-01-19T10:47:00.000-05:00

Well today Ivan and I have been married one year. How the time has flown by. It seems just like yesterday in many ways. I feel so blessed by God that He allowed Ivan to be my husband, and oh the responsibility I feel to be the best wife to him that I can. I will share the text message my loving husband sent me this morning. " Happy Anniversary my love, I pray that God will help me be a good husband and father for the rest of my life." That just melted my heart.
Tonight we are going to try and go out to eat without the children. I can hear their complaints now, but having dinner alone with my husband would be a wonderful experience.
Today my physical therapist will check my wound, and if it is healed enough, I will be able to start pool therapy. I am looking forward to that as I know it will speed the healing process along. I still am doing my stretches three times a day. If I don't do them, I can feel it in my back.
Last night Courtney had basketball practice and we still do not have a coach. Hopefully they can find one by Monday when our next practice is. I helped out at the beginning, and then the director of Youth Services showed up, and he took over. I do not want the job!!!! NO WAY!!! LOL
I pray everyone has a blessed day in the Lord.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Home Again

2006-01-17T10:02:00.000-05:00

Well we got home about 0100 this morning. No one was in the mood for school this morning, and I know I am not in the mood for Physical Therapy at 1000. My back hurts so bad from sitting I can hardly move. I did lay down in the back seat for much of the way home, but by not doing my stretching exercises three times a day, I can just feel the pain. It does not help that the temp was in the 20's this morning.
Spinal fusion (I feel for me) was a HUGE mistake. I now do not have a moment that I am not in pain that is of at least moderate level. There is a man two doors down from us who can no longer fly helicopters for the Army because of his back, but his wife tells him not to get the surgery done until it is a last resort. Dh decided that surgery would be best since we were trying to have more children. Now I don't want anymore. After all, I am 34, we will retire in seven years, and Courtney will be ready to start college and Jesse should be a sophomore at college. What would I do with a six year old or younger, just when we are starting to enjoy life?? No thanks!!! I replenished the earth, so I have obeyed God's command. =) When dh starts his second career, I think I would like to go finish my degree as well (if I don't do it sooner).
I am so glad that I had the chance to go to DisneyLand. It is my goal to go when they celebrate their 75th Anniversary. My mom went years ago and enjoyed it, and I am hooked. I still have many more places I want to see though that are in other parts of the world.
Basketball for Courtney starts on Wednesday. Her practices are Monday's and Wednesday's. So much for Youth Services promise of getting her practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays. For a 10 year old, this will be her eighth year playing basketball, so she knows the game well, and can play the game well. But we still have dive on Monday, Wednesdays, and Fridays, and I am so wanting her to compete in one competition before April and we are in Fayetteville. Finding a dive coach for her will not be easy, because many schools do not have dive teams even in High School, let alone Jr. High. I want her to go to a competition so we can evaluate where she stands against others her age. Does she really have what it takes to make it should she continue on?
For being tired, I am chatty this morning. I need to get off her and start some laundry. It is amazing how much laundry can pile up in four days!!!
Have a wonderful day and may God Bless You today!!
~Carmelita

I'm Back

2006-01-14T20:51:00.000-05:00

I have decided to return to the world of blogging. So much has happened since December. We have built a house outside Fayetteville, NC, I had a spinal fusion, and as I type this, I am sitting in my hotel room at DisneyLand.
First with the house. With dh being at Bragg for at least three years, we decided it would be the smartest thing financially to build a house and live off post. It is a 3b/2b with my jacuzzi tub. =) I insisted on the jacuzzi tub, as with my back, it will only help it. The wood is to be dark, and I am getting stainless steel appliances for the kitchen. I was so fortunate in that dh let me pick all the details in the house. All he is doing is paying for it. One lucky gal, I know!!!
I had my L4-S1 spinal fusion done Dec. 19th and let me tell you, healing is slower than I would like. I thought it would be like a c-section. Up and cooking dinner in a few days. I have been working around the house, it just takes longer than I would like. I refuse to be one of these people who just lay around and do nothing. I am a mother...I have a beautiful son and daughter that need to be picked up from band practice, and taken to dive lessons, and a darling husband that deserves dinner every night. Don't let me fool you, I have had to accept their help the first week of Jan., and it almost killed me. I felt less than a person. My response was to go shopping and get a new look. LOL A hair cut, new trendy clothes, and Physical Therapy everyday has helped me feel better about myself. I am actually stretching three times a day, walking at least 15 minutes every hour, and starting to feel like the old me. DH told me to get rid of the "plain" clothes and start dressing like ME. All being "plain" was doing was bring me down. The plain people wouldn't accept me, so why try to be something I was not. I have left all my groups (except my separated army girlfriends) and started caring about what GOD wants from me. Not some church, not some person, not a group, but God Himself. I cannot tell you how much happier I am. When I can focus on prayer, on doing what He wants me to do, and off of how I look, "am I "plain" enough", I feel my walk with the Lord is growing. God showed how much these "plain" people cared as when I had my surgery, the ones who yelled the loudest about "God" never once sent an email or called (they had my number) to see how I was doing. God really revealed the heart of these people to me. They cared nothing of what I was going through, only of how I looked on the outside. I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for taking the time to open my eyes to their misguided ways. The Bible clearly warns of people who claim to be "Christians", but their actions speak so differently.
Currently I am sitting in our hotel room at DisneyLand. DH and the children are out in the park riding rides (I cannot ride anything that jerks) while I am relaxing in the hotel room. We are having dinner with Goofy tonight at 7:00 so that should be fun. I am having a blast, even though there is little I can ride and I am spending my days in the wheelchair. My doctor was impressed that I am out and about so quick. He said I am his first patient to go on vacation wiithin three weeks of surgery. He said so many just lay at home and try and stay in bed as much as possible. Being a mom makes that impossible.
I am just so excited about the New Year and all that it will bring. A new home in a new state, a cruise, and plenty of beach time come summertime. I have started a new Bible study, and when I am home, I will start to share it with my readers. It is just wonderful, so much what I needed to hear at this point in my life.
My birthday is Monday and the children have already given me their gifts. I am one lucky mom!!! Each child built me a dog and bunny from Build a Bear Workshop, bought me a pair of black slacks and a dark pink cashmere sweater, a bra and panties from Victoria's Secret, and a blender. The clothes and blender was from all of them. I feel so blessed for my "annual" 29th birthday. We leave DisneyLand on my birthday, but in a way I wish we could stay longer. I am just enjoying being away from the house and the Concierge Lounge. From free continental breakfasts, to mid day snacks, to wine and cheese in the evening and sweet treats at bedtime, I am loving it. I am trying to decided whether to take the Disney Cruise this spring or the Princess or Carnival. I have heard there are many more options with Princess, which I like, so who knows. I just know I am ready for a vacation. Plus, the doctor told me that by March, I should have little to no pain. Currently, I am in pain most of the time. It is not so much "pain" as it is that I can feel the rods in my back as I move, and I have such a limited range of motion. Doing housework has taken new techniques.
I pray that everyone has a wonderful New Year this year! I look forward to posting a few pictures of our Disney weekend soon!
God Bless Each One Of You!!
~Carmelita

LOA

2005-12-09T12:35:00.000-05:00

I am going to take a LOA (Leave Of Absence) from posting. I am going to have disc replacement surgery at William Beaumont Army Medical Center in a week and a half, and will be away from my computer for awhile.
Plus, I am just tired of fighting the demons inside myself and need to take time away from the computer. I just don't have the strength to deal with everything that is going through my life. I have come to the point where I know I was deceived by the "plain people" and I need to learn to let go. DH knew this months ago, but never said a word so I could learn my lesson the hard way.
~Carmelita

Fashion Statements

2005-12-02T23:21:00.000-05:00

As a spouse of an active duty soldier, I have the privilege of dealing with military uniforms. You would think that when my dh was off duty, he would be more than willing to forgo his uniform. Oh no, he wears his army brown t-shirt under everything it seems. It is enough to drive me crazy. I have bought him lovely Ralph Lauren shirts, slacks, jeans, etc., but somehow, that dreaded brown t-shirt always seems to be on him. We go round and round on this everyday. Take this evening for example, we went to the movies (saw Aeon Flux)because dh has wanted to see this movie ever since he knew it was coming out. He had a button down shirt over top his brown t-shirt. UGH!!!!
Not that I am much better though. I was going through my "plain phase" (as dh calls it) when all I wore was dresses, skirts or jumpers. I just got two dresses and two jumpers in the mail today. They make me look fat and pregnant. I was in tears over how horrible I looked. DH keeps telling me that if I would go to the gym and work out, I would feel better about my body, and would not try and dress so dumpy. I did go to Victoria's Secret today and bought a new bra and panty. I had a coupon for $10.00 off a bra and a free panty. I only spent $25.00 so felt like I did good. I am just so upset that I got rid of so many nice clothes. Oh well, more of a reason to shop. =) I just enjoy wearing nice clothes from time to time.
Jesse is on his PS2 playing "Desert Storm 1" which he bought tonight with his allowance money. While at the movies tonight he saw the trailer for Annapolis and said he wanted to see it. This is coming from my boy who said he would never join the military. I have high hopes of him becoming an Army officer one day. =) There is a lady whose younger daughter is on the swim team here. Her older daughter was accepted at WestPoint, The Naval Academy, and The Air Force Academy. She is so proud of her and this major accomplishment she has made. She applied at all three because she thought she might get accepted at one; never dreaming she would be accepted at all three. She now faces the hard challenge of deciding which school she will attend. Oh to have that kind of pressure. (sigh)
Tomorrow afternoon we have a BBQ to attend. The guy is in school with dh and they live at the end of our block. It should be fun and it will mean socialization. I just get so bored sitting at home all day. There is only so many yahoo groups I can be in before my blood pressure raises. Also tomorrow I need to call Courtney and see how she is doing. I found out today from Jesse's counselor that the children's dad is putting pressure on them to move back with him. He is buying Courtney a horse for Christmas and getting Jesse a go-cart. Lovely... I wish he would look at the BIG picture. Church, education, healthcare, extra curricular activities, and friends. They have had it all with me. He does not have the ability to offer any of that. His wife doesn't even have enough room for all of them in her car. She has to put 5 children in the backseat of a Kia Rio. They ride around with no seatbelts and that does not make me a happy camper. Their dad has only had insurance for them when he is unemployed and on foodstamps (Medicaid) but when he works, no coverage. I just get so tired of them not having the best money can buy. The drinking, smoking, and cursing is enough to make any sailor blush that goes on in that house.
DH and I have already decided that if Courtney does not come back in January, then Jesse will not either. Poor Jesse is in depression because of the separation from his sister. He cannot stand to do anything that he used to because it reminds him too much of her. The counselor told me today that Jesse partly blames himself for her not wanting to come back. I have reassured and reassured him this is not the case, but I doubt it will sink in. I would rather the children be with their dad and together than Jesse to go through this pain. I am still holding out that God will have both of them returning with me in January. I am believing for a miracle.
~Carmelita

Fruit Inspectors

2005-12-01T10:18:00.000-05:00

This post came from a group I was on, so I decided to expound on my thoughts.
I am on several "Mennonite" groups and often you hear people talking about inspecting the fruits of someone's life to ensure they truly are "Christian". So I went to Galatians 5:22-23 where the fruits of the Spirit are mentioned. Here is what the Bible says about how a "Christian" will act: They will have love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and temperance.
I decided to put these fruits up against what I am seeing...the fruit that I am seeing must be rotten. Lying and "better than you" attitudes are what fuels these peoples life.
My husband, God bless his soul, saw this long before I did. There are certain people out there who can spin the scriptures in ways that would make you dizzy from the spinning. I wish their was a Bill O'Riley out there for these groups who would make a "No Spin Zone" for Conservative Christians.
My husband has had enough of emails a phone conversations where I am put down, lied about, and such like.
I must admit, my faith has taken a blow, but I think God was seeing me through all this. God cares about what is on the inside, not what is on the outside. It finally dawned on me. Sure these people can be dressed so "plain" that no one can match them, but their fruits are not lovely. There is no love in them for others.
I wore jeans the other day to Jesse's soccer game. It was nice. My husband was happy, my son was happy, and no one cared. What they do care about is how I treat them.
I am sure it will be a slow transition for me, because I have it so ingrained in me that if you don't wear this, or do wear that, God will not hear your prayers, or you cannot go to heaven because you are not really a Christian. I only wish I had not given all my clothes away.
Today I need to clean the house as it is getting cluttered and deal with our move to Fayetteville in April. We have decided to build our home, and it is a headache. I am blessed that my wonderful husband is leaving all the details to me. I showed him a two story (which is what I want) and he said lets get it. LOL I asked about the interior colors of the carpets, tiles, countertops, etc and he was like whatever you want is fine. I feel almost like a kid in a candy store. Now I just wait on the realtor to email me about what options I will be able pick.
Ivan did say that he might have to fly me to NC to have me look at the area, to make sure that it will be what we want. All this for living somewhere for only three years. I am excited though. This is the first time in my life that I have ever been able to pick anything about my home. God has blessed me beyond measure. He has been faithful to take care of me. When I look how far God has brought me in the past six years, I am overcome with eternal gratitude. From living with some man so I could just stay alive, and being treated like property, to a loving husband who loves and cares for me, and puts my needs above his, and makes sure that I have the very best he can give me. God truly has blessed me.
Have a wonderful day.
~Carmelita

Putting Up the Christmas Tree

2005-11-28T14:10:00.000-05:00

Well today I am putting up the Christmas tree. I was not going to decorate for Christmas, but I changed my mind. Jesse loves Christmas, so I wanted to do something to cheer him up, and it is my prayer that we will celebrate Christmas as a family come January 3, 2006. Plus, it gives me something to keep my busy.
I have already written Courtney one letter, and have spent most of the day crying on and off. I just miss her so much. Jesse, bless his heart, is not doing well either. He spent this morning crying about not wanting to go to school. My heart is just so broken, and I feel like everyone needs something from me, and what they need is something I cannot fix. I have been in continuous prayer begging God to touch her heart so she will come home.
I called the doctor today to see when it would be safe to get a return flight. He was giving me grief, telling me most people go home and go to bed after back surgery, and I just laughed. He told me I would be released on the 23rd of December. Now I have something to plan for.
I emailed Courtney's teacher from last year and asked her to keep an eye on her. At least I know she is around people she has known since pre-K. There will only be about ten students in her grade, so I am sure she will be fine. I just miss her and the fact that she is missing, soccer, dive, and band.
God's mercies are new every morning, and it is only by His strength that I can go on. Lord help me when the children go off to college. At least then I will have lived through the teen years, and I will be ready to see them leave home. =)
Like Ivan told me last night, money cannot buy you happiness. He is so true. I have more now than I ever have, yet sometimes the pain is far greater than before.
~Carmelita

Home Again

2005-11-27T20:08:00.000-05:00

Well we made it home from East Texas, and I must admit, I feel bittersweet. Courtney decided to stay with her dad till Christmas. Now I know that is only three weeks away, but she is missing so much. Her last four soccer games (and her team needs her bad), two Christmas programs that she was to perform in. One she was to play the clarinet, and the other she was the drummer. I am just heartbroken.
DH says he would like to sit down and have a chat with my ex. See, Courtney is running her life, and at 10, an adult should be the one telling her what she can and cannot do. I feel like I am on an emotional roller coaster.
She did say that maybe she would come back with us after Christmas, but that is because we are going to Disneyland in January. She has always wanted to go. I want her to be here because she wants to be, not because of what we can do for her.
We were going to buy her a laptop for Christmas, (her 11 brother is getting a desktop...faster for his games) but there is no way I will let the laptop go to her dad's. For one thing, he does not have internet (he doesn't even have a phone) so there is no sense in her taking it. I have been in tears the whole 1100 miles back home. I have cried so much that I don't think I have any tears left. The house just seems so empty without her.
My faith in God is being tested. I want to believe, but it is so hard. I feel like I have lost my baby. Ivan has explained to me that a bond between a father and daughter is strong, and will not break, the same way a bond between a son and his mother is strong.
I hardly have the strength to get online, let alone function in "normal" mode. This week I have to talk with a realtor from Fayetteville, NC to determine if we will buy a house when we get there or build. That must be started now, so we will have a place to live come May. The other people in Ivan's class have already been looking at the housing market, and one is already having his house built. I just want a yard large enough for a garden, fireplace, four bedrooms, two story, and two baths with plenty of closet space. That is all....not picky at all. LOL
Actually, if I could just curl up and take pills to sleep these next three weeks I would, but I can't. I still have to function for my sons sake, as he is missing his sister too. They have never been separated like this before.
I sit here and second guess myself. What should I have done differently, what can I do differently. I am the first to tell anyone not to get a divorce. No matter how much I feel like dying, the children are hurting more than I am I am sure. I wish I knew how to make their life perfect. That is all I want for them, a perfect life. Sounds crazy, but I believe that it can be achieved if I try hard enough.
It is days like this that I hate the Army life. If we could just leave it all behind, we could move closer so we could all be closer to each other. Sometimes I feel the sacrifice is more than I can bear. I love this country, love my husband, and am proud of what he does every day to keep this nation safe, but the price the children and I pay, well sometimes I feel we just cannot pay it.
Just when I think life is going good, I am thrown a curve ball. I will have to get through this, I have no choice, but it is days like these that I wish Jesus would return and take me home. No more pain, no more suffering... I am the first to say, "Even so Lord Jesus, Come Quickly".
~Carmelita

Thanksgiving

2005-11-22T13:08:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving is only two days away, and I must admit, I am ready. We are leaving tomorrow for East Texas so the children can spend some time with their dad. I will be able to go shopping with Ivan on Black Friday, and there are some good deals out there. Christmas presents will be purchased then. =)
We are still trying to get the condo in Miami refinanced. This is a major headache as the condo association put a lean on the property though no money is owed to them. We have been having several go arounds with them. They admit that we do not owe them anything, but refuse to write a letter to their attorney so we can have our named cleared. The president of the association promised dh today that it would be taken care of by close of business. SURE!!
We will come back from Thanksgiving to have Christmas looming in the next few weeks. After that, we are trying to go to Disneyland over Martin Luther King Jr. four day weekend (for the military). It just seems that we are spending so much money right now and that scares me a little. I am so used to saving and saving, and when dh tells me of bills (insurance, etc.) that is due, I am like we won't be able to afford a vacation. We just haven't been able to put money into our recreational savings account like we want to. I am hoping that maybe we will get some money back this year on taxes to cover Disneyland.
Tonight we are having tomato soup with grilled cheese sandwiches. I am trying to get rid of leftovers before we leave tomorrow.
Have a blessed day!
~Carmelita

War Protesters

2005-11-20T22:35:00.000-05:00

Well today, the war protestors were outside our post protesting the war. The post was wonderful in protecting the soldiers and family members from these people. They simply allowed them to protest in front of the main gate, then closed the front gate down so that no soldiers could enter or leave through there, and routed them through a side gate. That way the soldiers did not see them, and they did not see the soldiers.
Now I am as American as they come, and I uphold your right to protest, but come on folks, these people are protesting the wrong people. They need to be protesting their Senators, the White House, someone other than the soldiers. They are not responsible for us being there. Sometimes I wonder the IQ level of these people. To protest someone who is defending their freedom, GEEZ, give me a break. There was none out when we went to church, but was told by the gate police, about 50 protestors showed up, and eight tried to gain access on post. Of course they were stopped. I explained to Jesse and Courtney what a protestor was. Of course, they thought the people were crazy to be protesting the soldiers.
Tonight we played Army Monopoly and then went to bed.
Saturday I got my kitchen table. I was so excited. YIPPEE!!! We had been using a card table all this time. I now have a lovely wood table that we all fit around comfortably. We are slowly getting the necessities that we need. There is so much more that we need, but it will take time. Ivan refuses to go in debt for any reason. Sure we use the credit card for all our purchases, but then we pay it off every month and never, ever carry a balance. The credit card is from an airline, so we are getting air miles for every dollar we spend. One day, we can go on vacation for free. Not this year though. =(
Have a blessed day.
~Carmelita

Existence

2005-11-17T12:50:00.000-05:00

Well, I am still here. My back hardly hurts anymore (unless I am sleeping on our uncomfortable bed)and I am rethinking surgery. Is it worth it to have a major surgery for some comfort later on and if I do get pregnant? I am not thinking so.
I have been edgy lately. I am ready to leave this place. I am ready to live on the East Coast. I guess I have lived here long enough to say "Been there, done that" and am ready to move on. Though I like the fact that we do not have to spend much time with extended family.
I am ready for change. Living in the desert is such a bore. We have no friends, and of course,dh sees nothing wrong with that. I myself, am getting more and more angry. I have no one to go out with, no one to go to lunch with, no one to do anything with. At least at Ft. Bragg we will be able to go to the O Club and socialize. The children will be able to go to the Youth Center and hang out, do their homework, practice their music, or work on swimming, music, or whatever. Jesse has decided he will restart Ti Kwon Do. That will be great for him. He will be able to do something that his sister does not do.
Her dive coach just left here and is headed to Germany. Before she left she told Courtney to continue on with her diving, because she has what it takes to make it in the world of diving.
Christmas is right around the corner. We are getting a camcorder for the family and I am getting a table for Christmas. Maybe for my b-day (Jan) I can get a set of dishes and for my anniversary (Jan) I can get a tablecloth. You know you are married when you want basics for Christmas. I had to look at what the family needed, not what I wanted. Oh, how I wish we had the money to just go out and buy things. But no, it is save, save, save here. Hopefully when dh is retired at 60, and we are bringing in plenty of money, it will be worth it all. DH believes you must save now, so you have money later. You hurt now so you do not hurt later.
Well I am off for the day...I think I will lay on the couch and try to relax. I am getting more upset with life as the day passes. By the time the children come home I will have worked myself into a frenzy if I do not get off the computer.
Have a blessed day!
~Carmelita

Still In Pain

2005-11-08T16:45:00.000-05:00

I went to bed Saturday night and could not fall asleep till 0530 due to the pain. I had taken my pain pills, my muscle relaxers, but I still hurt. Sunday Ivan had me stay in bed all day, and then Monday I decided I had to be "superwoman". We have new next door neighbors who have a 6 yo little girl, and a baby boy who is only one week old. One set of the parents were there to help them move in. Well I decided it was the Christian thing to cook them dinner, so I made minestrone casserole, baked two loaves of bread, and a two layer chocolate cake. After that was done, I had to cook dinner for us. I was in so much pain by the end of the evening, Ivan made me miss the children's dive, and today I have spent most of my time on the couch. I will occasionally get up to read my emails.
Yesterday the PA from the Tucson VA called about my MRI. He told me they do not do disc replacement there, only disc fusion. From what I have been reading on the internet, disc replacement is better that disc fusion. I just know I am ready for the pain to go away. For some reason, my back has gotten much worse after our San Diego trip.
Last night we had pork chops with buttered noodles and green beans. Tonight we will have pork chop sandwiches with tater tots and french fries. I am trying to empty the freezer, so right before we leave for TX, I can have at least 15 meals in there. The doctor said no lifting, cooking, laundry, etc. for 1 month, so I do not want to trouble my family with what to eat. I feel as a helpmeet and a Christian woman, it is my place to see that everything is taken care of before the surgery.
Well I am off to rest on the couch some more.
Everyone have a Blessed day in the Lord.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

I Scheduled My Surgery

2005-11-04T19:36:00.000-05:00

Well I scheduled my disc replacement surgery today. It will be Dec. 19th in El Paso, TX. My hospital stay should be 5-6 days depending on how well I do. The resident who called me did recommend that I not drive (ride) back to East Texas as my pain will be hard to manage. I wanted to laugh at him and tell him that since he was an Army doctor, he needed to tell me to toughen up and drive on. He was worried that I would get stuck out in the middle of nowhere and could lose sensation in my legs and not be near a good hospital and thus be paralyzed. Trust me, if I am hurting that bad I will call 911 from my cell and ask to be airlifted out. =) Glad to know he cared about me though. The Army doctors in El Paso are wonderful. The resident gave me his cell phone number and told me to call if I have any questions between now and then. He even said he would try to get me a private room so dh could spend the nights with me. I guess normal hospital policy is no overnight visitors, but he said exceptions can be made. I am such a big baby when it comes to pain. I want dh by my side for the whole thing.
Courtney has a birthday party to attend tonight, so Jesse is having a friend spend the night. He still has diving to do, and then in the morning he has a Pancake Breakfast at church to attend.
Right now, Ivan, Jesse, and his friend are out trading in Jesse's PS2 and PS2 games for an XBOX. Since I don't get into video games, let them spend their money how they want to. I spent mine on "The Nutcracker" tickets. We are in the fifth row up, slightly to the left of stage. Great seats. Now if Ivan, Jesse, and Courtney will enjoy it as much as I will, we will be doing good. That will be Wednesday, so it is right around the corner.
I went to the commissary today and bought some milk and hot dog buns. My freezer is still full from last month. I should not have to buy all that much this month or next month. YES!!! We are starting to save some money for our upcoming cruise in April. Ivan brought orders home tonight showing that he was to report to Ft. Bragg 1 May 06. Those will have to be amended so we can take 30 days leave. We want a vacation. =)
Tomorrow afternoon I plan on getting some rest in. My back is still hurting me, and I seem to have to spend more time laying in bed than I used to. It can get frustrating at times. Ivan has been the most wonderful husband taking care of me every change he gets. I so do not deserve someone as wonderful as him.
Have a blessed Day!
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Army Times 31 October Issue

2005-11-01T13:17:00.000-05:00

The Bible talks about "righteous anger" and I was feeling that yesterday as I was reading the Army Times.
Most who know me know that I was enlisted in the US Army. While serving, I was raped by another male service member. Though he denied raping me, he did admit to "forced sodomy" which is still a crime punishable by the UCMJ (Uniform Code of Military Justice). The rape was so brutal that is how I received my herniated disc. Gotta love the Army in 1992. The commander refused to have him charged, so he got away scott free. After the rape, I was moved to another company in the battalion. Guess what?!?! My immediate supervisor was a sexual harasser. Did I say one word? NO WAY!! I was already labeled "troublemaker" but my name was named in an investigation of this NCO (Non commissioned Officer). I was "forced" to write my statement on paper. Seems this NCO was harassing everyone, but only three of us was around to testify. They could not make the civilians where we worked testify, so they made three of us testify. Of the three, I was directly under him. After his rank was reduced from that of E6P to E5, my lovely chain of command left him in charge of me. Talk about left to the wolves. My whole three years of active duty was spent trying to stay alive. I have now been granted disabled vet due to my injuries. I have been awarded 70% for PTSD (Post Tramatic Stress Disorder) and 20% for my back with an overall 80% disabled, yet I have been awarded unemployability, so I am considered 100% disabled.
This week's Army Times has an article on page 28 titled "VA urged to end PTSD review". Seems that they are reviewing 72,000 vets who are receiving PTSD disability compensation. Well, until the American people get tired of increasing taxes due to the thousands and thousands of female veterans receiving PTSD compensation for rape, and start calling their congressman/woman and saying "ENOUGH IS ENOUGH", keep raising taxes. The statistics are that 40% of women are raped or attempted rape has occurred to them while serving on active duty. This is by their fellow soldiers!!!! The Army denies the problem is that widespread, and they continue to sweep the problem under the carpet. Company Commanders are given way to much leeway in rape cases. They, (this one person) decides whether or not to press charges. Not the rape victim, the company commander of the rapists.
I am angry that the American people sit idlely by doing nothing to stop the rape and emotional torture of their daughters and sisters.
Now my husband, the lovely politically correct officer that he is, says that the Army is just a reflection of society. This topic always causes great issue in our home. I read that article, along with the article on page 8 titled "Policing Charity: Gifts to Wounded troops must be approved groups told". Seems there is a federal law that says a soldier, and his immediate family cannot receive charity valued at over $20.00. This means that the 20 plus charities at Walter Reed that helps pay for military families to be at Walter Reed while there soldier recovers from war wounds, must have it approved or else the soldier's commander can discipline the soldier from anything from a verbal warning to a court martial. The soldier is also responsible for his/her family, so if a family member is being housed free, the soldier could be charged.
Great Army isn't it. Let's let a rapist go free, but let's throw the book at a wounded soldier from Iraq for some charitable organization paying for his wife to stay at his side. What has this country stooped to? We are at an all time low.
Are you just a little upset yet? Good!!!!!!!!!!! I want you to be.
Let's take a trip back in time a few years to POW PFC Jessica Lynch. What a tragedy. The American public was outraged that this little female was raped by the enemy. I am sorry for what happened to her, I really am. But you know who I am more sorry for? The thousands of women who have been raped by other soldiers. You don't expect to be raped by a fellow service member!! Every female soldier who has been raped deserves her day in court. To allow one CPT to determine her future makes my blood boil. To think that my husband holds that much power in his hands, well let's just say, should a female soldier ever be raped under his "authority", the book will be thrown at the perp!!! I will see to it. But I can do only so much! I am only one person. I sit here day after day, while my dh goes through command school, and I want to scream at each of his classmates, "Will you do the right thing when you leave here?????? Will you have the courage to stand up and say enough is enough when you have your command???" Congress needs to change the laws on military rape. The military will not do the right thing until FORCED to.
Have a blessed day!
~Carmelita

The Weekend

2005-10-30T21:47:00.000-05:00

This weekend was busy. Yesterday the children had a soccer game and I must admit, the other teams coach upset me. After the game he "congratulated" his team on "taking out the trash today". Where is the sportsmanship at? What made me even more upset, these children have given alot up themselves. As children of service men and women, they do not always have their parents available because their parents are gone protecting the right of people like this coach to be able to speak his opinion. The military family gives up so much, and to call them trash infuriates me. Calling any child trash is unacceptable. He should have gone to each child and said "thank-you for all you do. Thank you for supporting your parent and not hearing from them months at a time. Thank you for supporting them over Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, and your birthday when they are not home and you spend your holidays alone and cry tears of loneliness, yet you are so proud of what your parent is doing. Thank-you for supporting your parent and giving it your all in life even though your mom/dad is not here to see you play because they are on foreign shores fighting terrorism and trying to keep this country the land of the free and the home of the brave. Yes, it takes great courage to coach a soccer team of under 12 and call the other team made up of only service member's children "trash". What a man!!! He can talk all he wants about children while he sits on a soccer field doing absolutely nothing for the country he lives in except bash the children of soldiers. I pray he can sleep at night.
After the game, we had two parties to attend. The first was one for the neighborhood we live in. We had a cake walk, potluck, hay ride, and costume contest. Then we left there and went to Ivan's battalion. They had games, and a "haunted house". The cadre put it on for all the families. I thought it was very nice of them. They had movies going, food, drinks, and lots of candy for the children. Everything was free. They just wanted the families to have a good time. It is amazing how some commanders go above and beyond to do what is right for their soldiers and their families. We can only pray that we have as wonderful as a command at Bragg as what we have here. The command here is awesome. I have been pleased with all that they have done for us.
Saturday night, Ivan took the children to the 2245 showing of "The Weatherman" because I had been sick all day. It was almost like the flu. Nothing would stay inside me. I was worn out from doing the game, and two parties, so Ivan wanted me to get some rest. He later told me that he regretted taking them to that movie because of the language content, but said that it was a perfect representation of the children's father. Courtney must have seen the similarities because she wanted to sleep with me. Since she slept in bed with me, there was no room for Ivan so he went and slept in her bed. Here was a rough and tough soldier sleeping in a canopy bed with all the "girlie" things any tween could possibly want. It made me smile to think of him sleeping between flower sheets, and flower pillow, and then the canopy draped over his head. Better than a cot and mosquito netting in Iraq. =)
We found out this morning that Arizona is one state that does not change their time. I found this out after changing all the clocks in the house. =) Oh well, I am sure the exercise did me good.
Tonight we all went to the movies to see "The Legend of Zorro". The children and Ivan loved it, and of course, they are glad that I go and make it a family night. I am not one to watch movies, but I do respect my husbands wishes. It is a tradeoff though because next week we are all going to watch the Russian Ballet perform "The Nutcracker". I am so excited because it has always been my dream to see a "professional" ballet company perform "The Nutcracker" and with it being performed by the Russian Ballet Co. is even sweeter. Tickets are only $45.00 which is more than reasonable in my eyes. I try so hard to expose my children to the wonderful culture that is available. I think it will be great since Jesse is learning the bells and Courtney the clarinet, and the orchestra will be there performing. Between getting to see the orchestra and the ballet, it should be a wonderful evening out.
I also have a dream of seeing New York City sometime during the Christmas season and take in all that city has to offer. There is just so much to see and do I would not know where to start.
Well it is getting late here and I must be getting to bed. I have much to do this week.
Have a blessed evening!
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

The Future

2005-10-27T23:40:00.000-04:00

Just when I am all excited about moving to Ft. Bragg next year, Ivan comes home and tells about this one job posting that was posted on the bulletin board at school. Seems the Army is going to need one MI officer to take command sometime early summer in San Antonio, TX. The officer must be counterintelligence qualified, so we decided why not try for it. All Ivan has to do is write a paper stating why he should get the job. They ought to let me write that paper!!!! Because he is the best soldier the US Army has that is why!!! No bias here. Just stating the truth!! =)
Our lives our becoming a little calmer. The children decided to give up swimming and just do dive, so that frees up six hours a week. That gives them more time at home to relax and have fun with other children in the neighborhood.
My medication has left me feeling tired. I spent this morning in bed resting as I was wiped out from yesterday. I try not to do to much. We are going to see if we can schedule the surgery for Dec. 19th. That way, the children will be with their dad's for Christmas, and I can get it done, and have another week of rest before the children come home. Of course, it will put some MILES on the vehicle. The children's dad lives around 700 miles from El Paso, so we will have to drop the children off, drive back to El Paso (we go through there on our way to take the children to East Texas) and have the surgery, drive back to East Texas and stay a week with friends, and then drive back to AZ on the 1st of January. The only other option was for Ivan to drive me to El Paso on a Sunday, leave me there all week, and then come pick me up the next week. He just cannot take leave as he is in school. Scheduling surgery around military timing is never easy. What makes it so hard is that there is no neurosurgeon here at Ft. Huachuca. The health care seems to be going downhill. More and more is getting "contracted out" to the local economy or sent to another military installation hundreds of miles away. It really is sad to see the shape of out military. President Clinton did this country a huge disservice when he downsized the military in such a large amount. Day to day existence can be hard. Housing can become impossible to get, health care is even harder, and we spend so much time away from our loved one's. All this, to have someone tell you why your husband "stinks". Why he is a "bad" person because he is in a war that is about oil, and on and on. Sometimes I would like to have these people walk in my shoes for one day. Let the reality TV shows come to my home. See how hard it really is. The stress, well words cannot explain the stress that we live through everyday. I would welcome the TV cameras to come stay with me for a few "seasons". I could shed some light to the general public who thinks the military life is easy. My own mother, whom I love with all my heart, thinks the military is a form of public welfare!!
I just know I love my husband with all my heart and stand beside him. I know our life together will not always be easy, but who said that life ever is. I can go to bed every night knowing that my husband is giving his all to keep me, and everyone else in this country as safe as he can. To me, he is a hero. Move over Brad Pitt, LaBrone James, or Usher, my husband is a REAL HERO, along with all the other men and women who wear the uniform of the US Military (save for the rapists in the military......but that is another post).
Have a blessed day in the Lord.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Tiuana, Mexico

2005-10-25T21:14:00.000-04:00

Ivan got "caught" by the bartender and had to take a shot of Tequila. The children loved it, but I was dismayed. I then had the priveledge of driving home. =)

Sea World Pictures

2005-10-25T21:09:00.000-04:00

Pictures

2005-10-25T20:54:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures of Columbus Day weekend of us at Imperial Dunes, Ca, the Pacific Ocean, and Tijuana, Mexico.
ENJOY!!!!

The Weekend Is Here

2005-10-22T23:32:00.000-04:00

I was so thankful that Friday night arrived and I was able to crawl into bed. My whole body hurt from working most of the day standing making cupcakes. I will have to load them for everyone to see. I got ooohhhh's and aaahhhh's, but my back hurt for it. They were the ones Courtney wanted to take, and I just did not know how to say "no".
This morning we had family counseling and it went wonderful. I was pleased with the results. Then the children had a soccer game and then I came home and crawled into bed. I had to get up in a few hours to take Courtney to Target to buy some black church shoes (she had none) and a present for the boy (Dallas) across the street. Then we stopped and picked up one of Courtney's friends from school and she is spending the night and most of tomorrow with Courtney. Sunday the children have the swim party for Dallas from 1400 to 1600, so they will be busy after church. Right now the children are all at Dallas's house as I sit here and type. There house is done nice. Their garage has two couches, TV, X-Box, computer, weight bench, etc. in it, so it is the place for the neighborhood children to hang out. Since the door is up, you can glance across and see that everyone is doing ok. I wish we could get a pool table to put in ours. I like having the children at my house where I can see what they are doing. Ivan is in bed already, and I just finished getting Sunday lunch ready. It is chicken and rice with honey glazed carrots, but I can put the chicken and rice in the oven when we leave for church and have it ready by the time we get home.
I felt tired some today, but was able to get the house mopped and get a hour nap in. I have my second load of laundry in the washer now.
Ivan still has alot of schoolwork to do tomorrow. He came home Friday with over 10 hours of homework, and he might have squeezed five in today. At least he will have peace and quiet while the children are at the birthday party. It is so hard for him to study when the children are here. I know. I used to take college classes a few years ago. School and children do not mix.
I started re-reading the book by Debi Pearl "Created to be His Helpmeet". It was exactly what I was needing to hear at this point in my life. This time , when I read it, I was like DUH!!! I will have to write more next week on what she brought to my attention (the lousy helpmeet I have been of course....LOL).
May each one of you have a blessed Lord's Day.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

My Amusing Life

2005-10-21T11:33:00.000-04:00

I just realized that I basically wrote the same article twice. (SIGH) I need to get out more. Yesterday I baked 24 cupcakes, now today I will ice and decorate them for the "fun night" that is for swim.
I am feeling better though I am still trying to rest and take things easy. Last night the children had soccer practice and they are looking better. We might actually win a game before the season is over. =)
I heard a nasty rumor last night that I have not even had time to tell Ivan about. Seems like the Army is planning on sending several MI CPT's to Iraq next spring. Guess where they would be getting them from....yep...the graduating class. I do not know why I am so shocked at the idea of him deploying next year. It stands to reason. One year downrange, one year home. He will be home a year come December. It is time for him to deploy really. It is just that the children are getting settled into a routine, and I would hate to break that up now. Life is almost "normal" for them now.
I am hoping next week I will feel like having more computer time. I feel like I am missing out on everything around me.
I pray that everyone has a blessed day.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

So Much To Write About

2005-10-20T09:08:00.000-04:00

Wow, do I ever have so much to write about. We had a wonderful time in San Diego, stopping along the Imperial Dunes along the way so that the children and I could climb them. We got to San Diego around 4:30 and got checked into our hotel and then off to Coronodo Island to hit the beach. The beach was nice (soft sand, not too crowded, temps in the high 70's) but the water was cold. I think I am more of a East Coast (South Florida) girl beach person, though South Padre Island, TX cannot be beat in my eyes.
After swimming in the ocean, we went to look for a Seafood Restaurant downtown. Even with our onboard navigation system telling us where restaurants were, it was difficult. We passed up Hard Rock Cafe (because Courtney was not in the mood to eat there, and we had given up on seafood.) We finally settled on O'Malley's Irish Pub. The food was good and we were able to get in and out of there quickly. We went back to the hotel and all of us swam a little, but I left early to go to bed.
Saturday morning we were up and at Sea World by 1000. Sea World is letting Active Duty Military soldiers, and up to three dependents, in for free. We had a wonderful day there and stayed till the park closed.
Saturday night we decided to eat dinner at a seafood restaurant a few blocks from our hotel. We went to Rockin' Baja Lobster and the food was delicious. We ordered their "famous" The Original Big Baja Bucket. We all loved it and it is a rarity getting everyone to like something in this family.
Sunday morning we got up to go to church at First Assembly San Diego. The senior pastors there, Todd & Kelly Hudnall, were our senior pastors in Lufkin, TX up until two years ago. It was wonderful hearing Todd preach again, and seeing his lovely wife Kelly and their precious baby girl.
We then went to Dave & Buster's for lunch. None of us had ever been to one, but I had heard of them, so we went. It was great. Then in the afternoon we decided to hit Tijuana, Mexico before we left, so we spent several hours browsing the markets in Tijuana before leaving. My back had started hurting on Friday from the ride, but I kept pushing on all weekend long. By the time we headed for home Sunday night, I could barely walk. I drove most of the way home while everyone slept, but right before Tucson, when we needed gas, I told Ivan he was going to have to drive. I just was in so much pain and my legs were going numb.
We got home Monday morning early, and that is where everything starts getting hazy. I started the muscle relaxers, then the doctor prescribed pain pills, I was falling because I could not feel my legs, and on and on. I went to the doctor a couple of different times. Saturday night we drove to the VA Hospital in Tucson, but their MRI was down so they sent me home with painkillers. I went to the regular doctor here on post then on Monday (I think) and they sent me straight to the ER (off post) here for an MRI. Yesterday I finally got all the news and even met with the orthopedic surgeon who was in from Ft. Bliss, TX (El Paso). Seems he would recommend me having the two discs replaced (as we are trying to get pregnant, and the worsening discs would cause it to be even more painful for me to carry a child than 11 years ago). The thing is, the surgery would require a hospital stay of five days (Ivan is in school), and it would have to be done at Ft. Bliss, 400 miles away. I have an appointment with the NP from the Tucson VA Wednesday, and I will see if she will give me an ortho consult to the VA, then see if 1) they could/would do the surgery, and 2)whether or not I liked the doctor. I just loved the one from Ft. Bliss.
So in the meantime I am to try and rest as much as possible to help the swelling go down in the discs. I have one that is herniated, and one that is degenerated.
I had gone no mail on all my groups, as I cannot possible keep up with 500 emails a day. What I have been doing is whenever I get up to get something to drink, or cook, I spend a few minutes at the computer reading. I try not to spend more than five minutes at a time, and then only a few times a day at that. That way, I don't totally feel out of the loop. It is having my legs "dangle" that causes the most pain. I am waiting on Ivan to fix the "main" computer, so I can then take his old laptop into the bedroom with me. We are hooked up wireless now, but are having issues with the main PC.
That is one thing I will also want to check out if I have surgery. Is the hospital wired for wireless yet? I knew a lady who had to be on strict bedrest in the hospital because she was carrying twins, and she spent all day surfing the web from her bed. Gotta love modern technology. Ivan's dream is to have four laptops and one main PC, that way every one can be in their own room on a laptop, and can be all hooked up together. All we need is to buy two more "notebooks". Maybe in a year or so we can seriously look into it.
I know I am wanting to get a PDA. I can check emails and write emails from my cell phone, it just takes so long, so I am thinking about getting a cell that is a PDA so I can be online with it, freeing up a computer here. Plus, while on the road, I can be surfing while riding "shotgun". I already do that now, it just takes longer than I like.
Today Jesse has a counseling appointment, then we can either do swim or soccer tonight. The children can pick which one they want to go to as both are practicing tonight. Tomorrow night is "fun night" at swim, so I have to decide what kind of food to make and take. Then Saturday they have a soccer game and then Sunday is church and then a swim party in the afternoon for the neighbor boy across the street. As a mom, there is just no time to really rest. I remember when I had my tubal reversal surgery, the doctor said no driving, no cleaning, no mopping, no laundry, etc for 14 days. I had the surgery Friday night, home on Sunday, and Monday I was cleaning the house. I have always been like that. I just cannot rest because there seems to be so much to do. The children are already asking that I not have surgery scheduled for a Wednesday, so they do not have to miss church. Then Jesse asked for me to be around Nov. 2nd to help him with the Science Club bake sale, and on and on it goes. I love it though. I love being a full time "mommy" and would not want to trade it for anything in the world.
Dinner tonight is leftovers. I think I will have stew on Sunday and put it in the crock-pot. That makes it so easy to come home from church and lunch be ready.
I pray everyone has a blessed day in the Lord. I just wanted to update all my "friends" on what was going on and why I haven't posted lately. I promise I have not forgotten about you. I do try to read a few minutes on all the groups main page, to keep up, but don't have much time to reply.
I am working on my mother-in-laws Christmas present now. It is a crossstitched, "Faith" saying.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

The Saga Continues....Herniated Disk

2005-10-17T09:30:00.000-04:00

Let me take you back to day one. Saturday Morning, we all wake up. pack up the vehicle and have a wonderful time at riving to Sea World (about eight hours away). We get to our hotel in the Old District of San Diego, and then go off to visit Coronado Beach. We eat in Downtown San Diego at night, at true adventure. You see all types of people there, but we were kind to everyone and smiled. I think that is what Jesus would have done. We got up early and ate a Continental Breakfast, and then spent the entire day at Sea World. I actually had a few ladies ask about my prayer covering in a real respectful manner. After the park closed we went back to our hotel changed, and got ready to go eat at Baja Lobster's. This was too funny. We paid the $4.00 valet parking fee, as there was no where to park within a mile.
Dinner was delicious and we shared two meals between the two of us, so the bill was under %50.00 Not bad for a family of four. Well we come out to get our vehicle, and the valet cannot start the car. The anti theft system on the vehicle will not work for others (it also cannot be hot wired). I ended up driving it off the lot. To me, it was funny.
Sunday morning we got up and went to visit ended Assembly San Diego (which is where my old pastor now preaches). After that we went to Dave and Buster's to eat and then on to Tijuana so that the children could experience Mexico. We had a great time. I started getting sore from all the walking and standing, but drove back from San Diego Sunday night and got home around 0400. Ivan had to take over in Tuscon. Monday I could not walk, and I knew I was having disc problems. One you have a herniated disc, you know when it flares up. So I called the nurse hot line (no medical care on post Monday, it was a holiday) so I got referred off post to the Urgent Care Clinic. The nurse told me the sooner I arrived, the better I would be, as the slots fill up fast. DH wanted to finish watching a moving, so I took all with in me not to complain and honor him in his wishes. We arrive at the clinic at 11:32, and the clinic closed for lech at 11:30 and would reopen at 12:30. Dearest Ivan wanted to drive around get lunch, eat it in the car, and then go in, by=y this time I am crying I am hurting so bad, but I agree. It is not my place to disobey my husbands wishes. He knows he is to love me as Christ loved the church, and it is not my place to tell him that. At 1230, I get out of the car, walk in the door, and he leaves to go get Courtney milk. Guess what, the after hours clinic opens at 1700-2100. so I have a 4 1/2 hour wait. I call Courtney on Ivan's cell phone crying, just begging her to send him back immediately.
He arrives in 30 minutes, and all this time I have been standing. We come back at the scheduled time, get seen quickly and I am giving no x-rays (told it is the disc that is flared, so need to see that) and given pain melds and a Solumedrol dose pack.
Tues, I start falling out of bed, and I have no idea what day it is. I am talking to my parents who I think are here (dad died in 98) and things are not going better. So I call back to the Army Health Clinic and get a referral to a Maj Somebody who is a Nurse Practitioner. She sends me a consult for a neurosurgeon or neurologist (which could take a few weeks) and some more pain meds. Friday afternoon, I fall out of bed, cannot move, so manage to find my phone and call 911. They as me what they want me to do. They then transfer me to the MP's, who ask what unit my husband is it, (I am not the most coherent woman on the street) but they manage to find him, and send him home to put me to bed. Friday night, I only did swim with the children because I had to.
Saturday we had to shop, and I got to ride in the wheelchairs. I could hardly walk. When We got home, I saw the next door neighbors were home, so asked them if they could watch Jesse and Courtney so I could go to the VA Hospital in Tuscon. They did (our children have spent the night back and fourth several times, and we trust them completely). The VA Hospital was great, just no MRI or CT scanner on the weekends. I got more pain melds, another Pretension PAC, and told to follow up with someone on Monday.
Yesterday, I spent most of the day on the couch, but moved to the bedroom when Ivan took Courtney to a movie, and Jesse had his friend a cross the street over. I fell out of bed trying to go to the bathroom, leaved all over my depends, and had to have a 10 year old boy and a 11 year old put me back into bed wet. I felt humiliated.Now, I have this huge ole know from falling .
Today, If I do not get a n appointment, I think I will need to be sent to the psych unit. This has been going on for one week, and no help.
HUH!!!!!!!!
I am so thankful Ivan is not deployed right now. That would be the icing on the cake!!!!
Have a blessed day in the Lord,
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Mini Vacation

2005-10-06T16:03:00.000-04:00

First, let me apologize for all the "propaganda" ads that pops up now on my "comments" section. Ever since blogspot started showing the latest updated blogs, I have had this problem. I do not know how to delete comments, or I would!!!
This weekend is a four day weekend for us. Ivan is off work Friday through Monday, so we are taking the children out of school tomorrow and going to San Diego. We will visit Sea World, Coronado Beach, and hopefully, First Assembly San Diego. The Senior Pastor there was my pastor in Lufkin, TX a few years ago.
Yesterday was a busy day for me. I went to the Commissary and spent over $200.00 on groceries. It should last me the month, but I still don't enjoy spending that much money. I so want a garden!!! I bought two family packages of thighs, two packages of breasts (both chicken) one family pack of pork chops and then two family packs of ground beef along with two smaller packages of pork chops (stuffed pork chops) and two packages of cubed beef for stew or soup. Throw in all the "snacks" for the children's lunches, and I had a cart full. =)
On one of the yahoo groups I am on, I had some ladies asking about recipes, so I will go back to posting. That is why I gave you my grocery list. =)
Tonight is stuffed pork chops. I have never made them, but will try tonight. I bought thick cut pork chops and will stuff them with "Savory Herb Stove Top Stuffing Mix) and bake them for about an hour on 350. I am also making twice baked sweet potatoes. I bake the sweet potatoes till done, then scoop out the potato leaving the skin intact and mix the potato with brown sugar and then put back in the shell and top with mini marshmallows. I bake till the marshmallows are brown and melted. I sometimes will add a little cream to make them "creamier". I will also serve creamed style corn from a can. (No garden....sob...sob) =)
Last night when I was getting ready to put my meat into individual bags, Jesse dropped a bowl of hot vegetable beef soup and it fell on Courtney's legs, the floor, the cabinets, the refrigerator, and the stove. I immediately called Courtney over and turned on the cold water and took the sprayer from the sink and sprayed cold water on her legs while calling Ivan to come get her. He picked her up and carried her to the bathroom while I went ahead and started running cold water in there. Poor Jesse felt so bad. I told him that is why it is called an "accident". =) I then put Courtney on the couch with burn cream on her legs, then wet (chilled in ice water) washcloths, followed by an ice pack (ice in a Ziplock bag) and then a dry towel. A hour later she was feeling fine and was ready to go to bed (without the ice). I then had the kitchen to clean and the meat still to put away. It was later than usual by the time I crawled into bed and was wishing that vacation was already here.
This morning I washed all the sheets in the house (I like coming home to a clean house), mopped Jesse's bedroom, and cleaned both bathroom's. The children should be home by 1445, so I will help them pack for tomorrow. Courtney has a piano lesson tonight, but other than that (and cooking dinner), I am ready to leave in the morning.
I pray everyone has a wonderful weekend, and I will catch you all on Monday or Tuesday.
God Bless You!!
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Ft. Bragg NC....Here We Come

2005-10-04T17:52:00.000-04:00

This morning was our meeting with the MI branch manager. We are headed to Ft. Bragg and to the 82nd Airborne. We will be leaving after Feb., as Ivan will have an extra school to attend a follow on school. We do not know what school he will attend, but should be either counter-intelligence, human intelligence, or systems intelligence. Other than that, we have no clue.
I am sort of "numb" about all this. I know what is ahead for us. Long deployments, followed by "field time" so I will not be able to see him all that much. To top it all off, Ivan will probably end up having to make jumps (jumping out of airplanes) as well as long road marches (with a 40lb+ backpack) and on and on.
Mom was not happy. She said that I should not have any more children as it would not be fair to them or to me. She also was talking about how Jesse and Courtney need Ivan, so this will not be fair to her. Fair or not, it is reality.
I am praying that I will be able to find a GOOD church community in the area that is close knit (that also allows outsiders in). The only way I will be able to get through months and months of being alone with the children will be if I have a church family to support me.
I remember last year while Ivan was in Iraq. It was hard. I know what separation is like. It is hard. Hard on everyone. The worry and stress can get to you. You feel alone and isolated.
I am praying that I will be able to live somewhere that I can have a HUGE garden. At least then I will be able to work myself into weariness.
I have started looking at the schools there, and it is not looking good. One middle school only had 33% of their students passing the standardized math test. That is PATHETIC. Private school (for both children) will run around $650.00+ a month on top of extra curricular activities fees. I will need that garden just to eat from. =)
God wants us there for a reason though!!! I do not know why (and I may never know why here on this earth) but we are where He wants us. I will just have to rejoice even if my emotions tell me otherwise. Psalms 145:2-3 "Every day will I bless thee; and I will praise thy name for ever and ever. Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised; and his greatness is unsearchable."
If anyone knows anything about the Fayetteville, North Carolina area, please let me know. I would love to hear all there is to know about this area.
Have a blessed day in the Lord.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Once Again, I AM SORRY

2005-10-03T11:01:00.000-04:00

It has been brought to my attention that I have hurt one or more people by my postings to my blog. I have no idea who you are, but I would like to apologize. I try so very hard not to hurt anyone's feelings, and I am sorry that I hurt you. This blog is set up to receive "anonymous" replies, and you can also email me directly at ivans_helpmeet@yahoo.com I want to know when I offend anyone so that I can make it right. I can't ask for forgiveness if I don't know that I have caused you pain.
With that said, the brief went fairly well last night. No real surprises. We have a "feeling" that he will go somewhere that will deploy within the next six months or so. I keep telling myself that I got through one full year of deployment, no biggie, I can do it again. Plus, Ivan's job will be "safer" if there is any "safe" spot in Iraq. Most of you probably wonder...what really does he do. Basically, he studies a person (enemy) by their past and predicts what they will do in the future and why. Believe you me, he is very good at this. He does it well with me, the children, his family and others around him. He can never meet you, yet can study "facts" of your life and tell who you are, why you do what you do, and what you will do in the future. Yep, so much fun living with someone who knows what you will do before you do it. LOL =) It has its "not so fun" moments as well.
Tomorrow is our one on one appointment with the branch manager. We should have a fairly good "feel" where we are to be headed next, but RFO's (Request For Orders) should be out before the last week in October.
My meds are not working again. I am back to feeling down. I called dh on the phone this morning to let him know that I had upset someone. He said, "of course you have, you cannot please everyone; though God knows you try". Then I was told to stay off the computer today. I have been sent to bed. =) I was told to take my medicine, stay off the internet, don't watch TV or listen to anything other than music (so I do not get EXCITED). Ivan is good about eliminating the stressors in my life before I go completely over the edge.
I pray everyone has a wonderful day in the Lord. I am off to "rest".
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Saturday Night

2005-10-02T00:15:00.000-04:00

Here it is Saturday night, and I have four children here instead of two. =) Jesse's friend is back over, as well as his sister. They are our next door neighbor's, and are moving before Thanksgiving. I want the children to have fun while they are here. Not that there are not any other children on this block. There is only one house here that does not have children living there. It seems that Courtney is the most popular girl on the block. The doorbell rings many different times with children asking for Courtney. Boys and girls I don't even know. Courtney will come to the door and say, "Oh, that is so and so and they live right there...and points) and off she goes.
Today she was the only one at dive. Just when I thought that she wanted to give up dive, she went through and did all her dives and nailed them. She was laughing and having a great time. I asked why she did so well, and was told, "Because my brother is not there to bother me." LOL That is LOVE. There are only 361 days between them (and he is older) and they fight like cats and dogs most of the time.
I am feeling better today. I have not had that much free time to stop and think and still have much to do.
Next week will be a little busy. I am so glad that we do not have swim/dive on Monday. We have dental appointments, Jesse has counseling, and a soccer game, all this week. Friday night we are leaving for San Diego to visit Sea World for the three day weekend.
I pray everyone has a blessed day of rest tomorrow. May God Bless Each One of You!!!
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Changes

2005-09-30T22:51:00.000-04:00

The Army loves to change things. Three times this week we have looked over a paper that had "assignments" on them for our next duty station, and that we were to pick out "top" choices. We could have our #1 dream spot, followed by 5 class A or B slots. Now these are the ones no one really wants. Class C is the "prime" duty stations with "A" being "doomsday" assignments. We picked Ft. Bliss (El Paso) TX as our "doomsday" assignment. UGH!!! I so do not want to go there. When I looked at the last list today I was almost in tears. I was not overjoyed with any of the locations on there. For some reason I have it in my mind that God wants us back east, where I will be closer to the "plain" communities. Ivan was sympathetic, but reassured me we will go where ever God sees is best. I remember a few years ago singing a song that talked about going wherever God called you.
I am open with all of my readers. I want you to see what life is like not only for me, but for other military spouses as well. I have not hid from you all that I suffer from depression. This has been a hard week for me. I have been at another low, feeling all alone, when today I was walking into the gym (the children had swim) when out comes a lady wearing a skirt and a headcovering. We stopped and talked and she asked if I was Mennonite. I said no, that I just wore the covering because of 1Corinthians 11. Come to find out she does as well, and that they home church and listen to Charity tapes. I just know God brought a kindred spirit along to lift my spirits. When we parted she gave me her phone number and told me to call her.
I just have so much to say, but don't know how to say it. I am so worried about our upcoming assignment and am praying that Ivan will not have to deploy next year. Last year was so hard with him being in Iraq most of the year. I just don't think I am ready for that.
The boys are in Jesse's room playing on the PS2 and I can hear them yelling and laughing. Thank goodness they have to be in bed by 2200 as they are going on a fishing trip tomorrow morning at 0800. I have already taken my meds to help me sleep. I have had chest pains most of the day from the anxiety and stress that has been on me.
I wrote a letter to someone who wrongly accused me, and have yet to hear back from them. The sad situation is, this person is so influential in the "online plain" groups, that I am being let go. My darling husband, has done all in his power to lift my spirits. He has read my emails that I have written, seen his replies on online groups and such, and has come to the conclusion that this man is 1) not a Christian; and 2) has all the makings of being a cult leader. Because I (and I am not the only one) who has asked him to back things up with scripture, he has made my life difficult. For some reason, he holds much power of "plain" women, and they do not go against their "poppa". I have prayed, I have cried, I have even written him asking WHY? and guess what, no answer. I went to another brother in the Lord who assured me that it was due to my "high moral ethics" that this person has begun to treat me in such a way. It hurts. It hurts to the core. I have been told that I will never be plain, that what I say is not true, and on and on. I must admit, I am beginning to buy into it. I told Ivan that there is no reason for me to go on. There is no reason to try. Even when I try to do what is right, say what is right, dress the way that I feel is right, I am being told I am wrong. I cannot begin to tell you the number of days I have laid in bed, rolled in a ball, crying and begging God to let this suffering end. I want something so bad, yet cannot have it. In a way I feel like I did as a child, I wanted so bad to fit in with the "plain" community, as that is how I was raised, yet I never did. I have watched as this person has opened his arms and heart to other "remarried" women, yet he says I make an issue out of it, so not to let me on any groups. I just can't take much more. This is why I am not online much anymore. Ivan has made me give all my groups up in the past, and has had to LIMIT my online time this week just to keep me from doing something crazy. Plain life was how I was raised, it is what I know, yet I cannot be welcome there. Why? Because I am remarried. I am married to a man who loves me, who does not want to kill me, who is faithful to me. One who needs me and wants me in his life. I have never had that before. To leave all that behind, to maybe, just maybe, be accepted into a "plain" community is more than I can bare. They would not be there when I want to die, they would not understand how much I dislike myself, they would not be there all the days I cry myself to sleep be it day or night. My husband is. He loves me. I can cry and it is ok. I can tell him I don't think I can live another day; yet he convinces me I am important to him and to the children. Surely God does not want me to leave that kind of love behind for a few people who I would see on a Sunday morning. So I breathe in, take my Xanax, curl up on the bed and cry myself to sleep while praying to God. I hope one day I will be accepted by someone, and maybe, just maybe, loved by them as well. I cannot remember the last time my mother said "I love you". I know I am a huge disappointment to her, and I wish I could make it up to her. She said something that I agree with. I am so glad my daddy is gone so he does not have to see what a mess I have made of my life.
~Carmelita

Closer To Assignment

2005-09-26T05:01:00.000-04:00

Well, the time is fast approaching for our next duty assignment. This weekend we were able to look at the list of available post's with what duty position was available. From this list, we must make three choices. We have two so far. Maryland and Kentucky.
Maryland is my top pick because it is so close to D.C. and there is an abundance of things to see and do. It is only 500 miles from my home in Ohio, and a straight shot down to Florida as well. It is also close to the family Ivan lived with in Virginia. The housing in Maryland is gorgeous with no waiting list. There is just many things that appeal to me about Maryland.
Then there is Kentucky. This is Ivan's first choice as it is a non deploying job. This is only 200 miles from my mother's house, and that would be wonderful. So why is it not my first choice? Housing. The housing there looks horrible and the wait list is 3-4 months. Ivan said that we can always live off post on the economy. We will see. I really like the idea of not worrying about paying utilities while living on post. The other advantage to Kentucky is that I would be able to go see my Cincinnati Bengals play a few games. =)
This coming Sunday we will do a Q&A session with the branch manager for Ivan, then later next week sit down and give him our "choices". There is much prayer that will be going up this week. I want to be right in the middle of God's will. Life goes so much better when you are living the way He wants you to.
The neat thing about Kentucky or Maryland is that I will be closer to the "plain" communities. Ivan and I had a long talk about that last night. I told him no matter how hard I try, I will never be fully accepted into the "plain" groups. Sometimes I get so tired of trying. I must admit I spent a few hours yesterday afternoon curled into a ball on my bed crying. I was telling Ivan that this is more than I can bear. He assured me God will not give me more that I can bear, but I told him I could not take anymore. I am feeling a little better, but it is 2:00 am here and I am unable to sleep.
Jesse sang last night at the church "singspiration" with the other Royal Ranger boys. I was so pleased with his performance. He did so well. After church, we had cake and homemade ice cream in the fellowship hall and had the chance to speak to Pastor Drake's wife. Courtney will audition for piano lessons on Thursdays for 1/2 hour per week. She has been wanting to play for months now, and I actually have the time I could squeeze it in. She is making straight A's in school, so if she wants to, that is fine by me. Sister Drake just wants to ensure she is ready to learn before we start. She is already learning to read music from playing clarinet in the band.
My challenge to you today is this. Who do you know that has messed up somewhere in their life? Is there a way that you can let them know you care about them? Maybe send them an email of encouragement, a card, or a phone card, something, anything to let them know someone out there cares. You will never know how much it will mean to them.
Have a Blessed Day!
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

It's Friday =)

2005-09-23T17:53:00.000-04:00

I just realized that it is finally Friday. I know, I know, I should have known it sooner.
Last night when we got home from soccer practice, I must have stepped out of my vehicle wrong because I could hardly walk my left knee hurt so bad. It was bad enough that I was unable to tuck the children into bed. They had to come to my room to say their bedtime prayers. I took a muscle relaxer, so maybe that is why I didn't really pay attention to what day it was.
Tomorrow I am responsible for snacks at the soccer game, so this afternoon I went to the Commissary to buy grapes, drinks, and Rice Krispie Treats. This evening I will wash the grapes and put them in little snack baggies for tomorrow. I do not procrastination because that is a guarantee that something will go wrong tomorrow.
Ivan said he would stay at school tonight so he would not have much homework to do here this weekend.
Tomorrow night I promised Jesse he could pick our movie for tomorrow night and I would bake a pizza. I am so ready for the weekend. We will probably spend time playing badmiton, Army Monopoly, Boggle, and Operation. The children just love to play games.
I pray everyone has a wonderful weekend.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Is It Sunday Yet?

2005-09-22T19:35:00.000-04:00

I so wish it were Sunday. I love having a day of rest. =) This week has been hectic with no end in sight. Today I took Courtney Wendy's at school and ate lunch with her. Since Jesse had Golden Corral on Monday, I had to even the score.
Ivan has so many books to read that I am trying to help him out. He is really getting bogged down with schoolwork.
This morning I had over 300 emails, but I managed to check each one. I have many friends in East Texas, so I have been monitoring Hurricane Rita on and off all day. Of course, the children's dad lives there too.
Last night we went to church. Jesse had Royal Rangers and Courtney had Missionettes. Pastor Drake was speaking on hope. Toward the end of his sermon I almost fell off the pew. He brought up 1 Timothy 2:9-10 "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or costly array. But (which becometh a woman professing godliness) with good works. That is the first time I heard that even mentioned in an Assembly of God church. His wife always wears dresses (or skirt suits), and little to no jewelry. The women all in the choir wear dresses or skirts that are below the knee. He explained that it is ok for a new Christian to not dress a certain way, that they have to get their hope anchored in Jesus Christ, but as they mature, you should see them change. Not because we tell them to but because they are learning what God's will is for their lives.
On that note, last night before church, the children were at swim. The neighbor lady down the street came and talked to me (her children also are on the swim team). She told me that she almost came and rang my doorbell on Monday. That she had a bad day, and had bottomed out, and didn't know who else to turn to. I told her that she was welcome to come and talk to me anytime.
It is my prayer that Jesus use me to accomplish His will. If, by wearing a covering and longer skirts, dresses or jumpers, I stand out as a Christian. Praise God. I know that I am more aware of how I act, speak, walk, etc. Now that I cover. Let not my life be a stumbling block to others.
Have a wonderful day (evening) everyone.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

I Must Apologize

2005-09-20T14:23:00.000-04:00

I am sorry for not posting sooner. So much has been going on here. Saturday was Jesse and Courtney's first soccer game, so I am "officially" a soccer mom now. LOL We just seem to stay so busy with swim/dive, soccer, church and band. Ivan's boots have not been shined in a few weeks, and I must do that today.
We also need to decide what battle he will write his thesis on, as a report is due Thursday on what battle he picked. I haven't a clue about which one I want to read about. =)
The tests came back from my uterine biopsy. I am ovulating just fine, but the doctor did offer to send me to Tucson to see a Reproductive Endroconologist for an invitro work-up. I said "no thanks" at this time. Somehow I feel that if God wants me to have another baby, then He will ensure that I am pregnant in His time. It doesn't matter if my tubes are only 3 cm on the left and 0.5 on the right. He is the God of miracles. Sara was pregnant when she was 90.
It looks like we will start family counseling soon. We want to do all that we can to ensure that the children are adjusting well. Any transition is hard, so we want to do all that we can to make it as easy as possible for the children.
I thought maybe fall was in the air, but today it is supposed to be 90 outside. Not much of fall in the air with temps that warm. Yesterday it was rainy and mid 70's.
My tomato plants are doing well. I am starting to get 4-5 small tomatoes a day. I will not have enough to can, but it is fresh produce nevertheless. I am praying that next year we might be somewhere that I can have a real garden with corn, beans, tomatoes, squash, peas, carrots, onions...well, you get the idea. =) I have a canner in the garage that is just begging to be used.
Tonight for dinner we are having chili dogs. So healthy I know, but I had leftover chili from last night. My chili recipe is so simple: 1 lb ground beef browned, 1 can diced tomatoes, 1 cn chili beans, 1-2 T brown sugar. I put all this in the crockpot for several hours on low.
We have finally started the children on chores. Now, besides keeping their rooms clean, Jesse is responsible for mowing the yard (and yes, we have a small yard) and Courtney is responsible for doing laundry. I still do much of it, but I do try and save loads for her here and there. Ivan helps Jesse with the grass. We are slowly trying to teach them how to do "normal" work. Ivan's goal is for Courtney to be able to know how to do laundry by herself and be able to cook a meal without much help. I remember that at 10, I was able to do much cooking and baking.
I wanted to report on Baby Jacob. He is doing well and is scheduled to leave the hospital. Praise God for His faithfulness in answering our prayers.
Today was my friend DeeDee's birthday. She has never been married and is the mother of a 15 yo girl and a 5 yo girl. I had a plant delivered to her at work today. I was remembering what it was like to be a single mother on my birthday (or any other holiday). It is not an easy time. I just wanted to bring a smile to her face.
Maybe one of my readers knows a single mom from work, church, friends, etc. Try to remember her one day this week and do something nice that will show her the love of Christ working through you. As Christians ("Christ-Like"), we are to do as Jesus did while He walked on this earth. He looked for the lonely, sick, hurting, and impoverished to show them acts of compassion and mercy. So should we!!!! Ephesians 4:32 "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another..." James 4:17 "Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is a sin."
May You Have A Blessed Day!
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Old Time Photo

2005-09-15T20:43:00.000-04:00

I just love taking "old time" photos. Here is one of the four of us in Tombstone, AZ. It was so much fun. Just thought I would share it all with you.

It's Been A Few Days

2005-09-15T14:17:00.000-04:00

I would like to apologize for not posting these last few days. My life has been a little on the busy side. When I am not running and doing things, I am home exhausted. I just feel so tired much of the time.
The Ice Breaker went well on Monday. Ivan's company commander changed the menu to Subway. Jesse and Courtney were able to attend their first "official" military function. It went much like I expected. We hung out and talked with the people we already knew. LOL. So much for meeting new people. We had to leave early since Jesse and Courtney had swim and dive.
Monday night, the doctor switched my anti-depressants, so we will see if that helps my mood. I just have this deep down fear that Courtney will want to go back and live with her dad. I wish there was some way for us to be closer to him. The two closest posts are Ft. Hood, TX and Ft. Polk, LA. Neither of them appeal much to us. This is one of those things that I just must leave in God's hands. In Christ alone I must trust.
Tuesday night was soccer, and then yesterday was swim and then church. Ivan has been having so much homework that he is not attending any of the functions with us.
He asked me last night if I could help him with a paper that is due the first of Oct. It has to be over any battle, but it must be about "intelligence" issues. What was the terrain like, what was the weather like, how many troops did each side have, what were each side's weapon capabilities, etc. It must be 3000 words and MLA format. Yippee!! I can hardly wait to help him with this one. NOT!!! At least it will give me an idea of what grad school will be like. =)
Tonight Jesse and Courtney have their first soccer scrimmage. It is against a team that is two years older than them! This should make for an interesting game.
Tonight for dinner I am cooking "Roasted Garlic Baked Penne". I got the recipe off the back of the Contadina Diced Tomatoes can. It looks so easy to make and should be enough for two meals.
Well I am off to do a load of laundry. May you have a blessed day today.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Ice Breaker

2005-09-12T15:24:00.000-04:00

Tonight is the company ice breaker for Ivan's unit. This is when all the spouses, children, and soldiers get together to meet one another. Tonight's party will be a pizza party here on post. It is at 1600, and we have swim at 1700 and then dive at 1900. I have an appt. at 1900, so Ivan will stay with the children while they have dive lessons.
I am looking forward to meeting all those in Ivan's class. This class is different from the last one he was in. The last one was very organized. One spouse planned daily walks, water aerobics, scrapbooking, etc., events. I never went, but knew of them. I have yet to see one email regarding anything like this with his new class. Maybe after tonight we will figure something out. I just am content to sit at home and clean the house, or cook, or bake or nap. =)
Yesterday's rest helped me so much. I am so thankful that my husband saw that I needed some extra rest.
Today I went to school with Jesse and spoke to the guidance counselor. Jesse is doing fine with his grades, he just feels overwhelmed. It has been something that has been going on the past several years. If told to do two things at once, he cannot prioritize what needs to be done first. I know he does not have ADD as his grades are fine (top of his class most of the time). I wanted to make his teachers aware that he is struggling with all the "newness". The counselor did recommend that we get the children counseling to help them cope with all the new things that are going on in their life. I agreed. When their father got remarried for the second time, Courtney would not talk for a week. We started counseling then, and had been doing it on and off since 2001. It is time for them to go back. Jesse has so much anger bottled up inside of him, that he is a walking timebomb. I know that his dad threatening to kill everyone has not helped him any. Bless their hearts, they do not remember all the times he threatened to kill me in front of them. Thank goodness they were young then. The one time he did try to choke me to death, they were in the house and did not see it. They were exposed to his dad and wife #3 fighting the day before they were married. She slapped him and he threatened to kill her. This was the day before they moved here. The children have seen more than their fair share of dysfunctional family life. I pray every day that they can see that their are normal families out there. One where the husband and the wife love each other, do not fight, the children are loved, there is enough money to do things and go places and God is put first.
Well, it is already afternoon here on the West Coast and I must get moving. I will let everyone know how the "Ice Breaker" goes this afternoon.
Praying everyone has a blessed day today.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

I Retract my Boredom Statement

2005-09-11T16:58:00.000-04:00

Well, just when I say I have nothing to do, I have everything to do. Courtney has met a new friend two houses down, and she comes over every day. It helps as she is only six, and she likes to play Barbies and dolls. It gives something for Courtney to do.
Thursday was storming here, so I went to pick the children up after school from band. Of course, the rain soon stopped, so we had soccer practice that night.
Friday, I took the children to school and then came back home and crawled back into bed. Thursday night, Courtney missed her dad, so she needed extra love from me. Then I needed to go buy Jesse dive shorts, and both another towel, and on and on. On Mondays and Fridays, we are at the pool from 5:00-8:00. Friday night was great as the coach had a professional diver work with them. Her name is Casey and she dove in High School and for West Point. She is at Ft. Huachuca for MIOBC. She was such a sweet lady. I just cannot say enough good things about her. I feel blessed that she will work with Jesse and Courtney for the two months that she has remaining here.
Saturday was spent shopping (Courtney needed new clothes) and Ivan needed to buy a lawn mower, and then Ivan and the children went bike riding. I stayed home and watched Ohio State lose. I was so upset. I so wanted them to beat U of Texas.
Today, Ivan had me stay in bed and rest. My depression seems to be getting worse, and dh wanted me to stay in bed and RELAX. I laid there and listened to a Charity (A Mennonite Church) teaching tape. I am not sure what is going on with the depression, but I think that stress is playing a large part of it. I feel like the Prozac is no longer working. I am worrying about where we are headed next and the children and so much more. I know God does not give us a spirit of fear, it is just that I am feeling a little overwhelmed. The children want me to entertain them 24/7 while they are awake. They keep me busy.
Everyone have a blessed Sunday.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Boredom

2005-09-07T18:01:00.000-04:00

I know this word normally relates to children, but in my case, it relates to me. This morning I had absolutely nothing that I could do. I needed to go to the Commissary and needed to do laundry (but I was out of detergent) but I could not because Ivan forgot to leave me my ID card. I could not go off post, because I would not have been able to get back on. So I sat here and looked at my white walls. =)
I am trying to learn to crochet, but that is not going any better than knitting did. There is only so much I can do sitting in my house. Ivan came home at lunch today and said that he will start eating at the DFAC (dining facility) so now I have even more free time on my hands.
I am curious what women do who stay home all day and do not have children? It takes me an hour, two at the max, to get my chores done, and then it is sit and wait.
I need a hobby. So I am asking my readers to help me find one. I cannot draw, paint, etc., and really do not like arts and crafts. I enjoy reading, but my goodness, there is a limit to how many books I can read. Actually, I am having a hard time finding good books.
Tomorrow I get to take my vehicle in for its first service. That will take a hour. I guess I need to dust off the sewing machine and learn to sew again.
Oh, and while I am on my pity party, there are no craft stores around here. WalMart is the best, and well, I am used to Hobby Lobby.
I feel like I am failing as a Proverbs 31 wife. She was not bored.
I am thinking about maybe doing nursing home visits, AFTB (Army Family Team Building) classes, something, anything.
I hope everyone has a great day today.
In His Love,
~Carmelita

Army Upkeep

2005-09-06T10:55:00.000-04:00

Well, the US Army Housing Division has decided it is time to paint "our" house. Actually, they started last week on our block, and today is my lucky day. Now my house is maybe, five years old. To me, it does not need painted. However, I was told that it is scheduled maintenance, so today I get to listen to the men chatter as they tape the house and then spray paint it. So much for a nap today. =)
Then tomorrow, housing is having contractors put in automatic garage door openers. That is all wonderful and great EXCEPT that my brand new Expedition will not fit in the garage. I guess Ivan will be able to park his Dodge Dakota in there. Go figure. The whole thing just amuses me in a weird sort of way.
Yesterday we went to Tombstone. I think the children had fun. In the evening we went to the mall, and I must confess, I had a weak moment. There was a lovely pair of jeans there with a blazer to match, and deep down, I wanted to buy them. Sometimes wearing only dresses, jumpers and skirts gets me down. I am trying to "dress them up" a little bit. Hearing Courtney asking me why I don't dress "normal" does get to me at times. I know I need to take this all to God in prayer and ask Him what His will is.
I have an uneventful day planned for today. I did all the laundry yesterday, Courtney helped me dust, so all I really have to do is write some "snail mail" letters.
Tonight is the first night of soccer practice, so it will be fun to see how that goes. Jesse and Courtney always said they wanted to play soccer, so now we shall see. To me, the running alone would wear me out.
Dinner tonight is fried steak, mashed potatoes, and green beans. I bought a 10# bag of potatoes last week, so I need to use them up sometime. Ivan is more of a rice eater than potatoes, so I tend to cook what he likes.
Everyone have a blessed day today.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

More Party Pictures

2005-09-02T23:43:00.000-04:00

HoBo Party

2005-09-02T23:35:00.000-04:00

While home in Ohio, my family held a "trashcan" dinner in our honor. My mom's sister was there, along with her children, grandchildren, and greatgrandchildren. The girl with the long blond hair is Courtney. I am the one with the black "doiley" covering. Ivan is the dark haired man with the untucked, buttondowned shirt, and Jesse is peaking out from behind his shoulder.
A "trashcan" dinner is so much fun. You buy a new metal trashcan, put a grate in the bottom a few inches from the bottom and then place unshucked ears of corn around in a circle. You then add carrots, potatoes, and onions, and place sausage on top. This only needs to cook about 45 minutes over the fire.
We had a blast, so thought I would share the pics with you!!!!
Enjoy =)
In His Love,
~Carmelita

The Joys Of Marriage

2005-09-02T14:05:00.000-04:00

This weekend, Ivan has a four day weekend. Once the children were off to school, we sat down and watched the news. More specifically, President Bush's little speech. Oh the joys of being married to someone in the intelligence field. The whole time the news report is on, Ivan is giving me a play by play of the body language and what each person is thinking. It was obvious the governor's of Mississippi and Alabama were politicians and that the Coast Guard were all about business. We then got on the subject of how this whole disaster is being handled. Basically, if the leadership was doing their job, the President would not have had to show up to get things moving.
We are praying for those devastated by the hurricane. We are doing what we can to help those. We have given to charitable organizations, as well as to our church.
This weekend our plans are to stay here and go to church on Sunday. Tomorrow and Monday we have a few things planned. Ivan wants to take the children swimming (like they don't get enough swim time in by being on the swim and dive team and having practice three days a week) and also go to a local "Octoberfest". The fest will be fun as I love the food at these types of events and the children love to ride the rides.
Tonight we are having leftover lasagna.
Everyone have a blessed day in the Lord.
In His Love,
~Carmelita
P.S. An update on baby Caleb....he is still in critical condition and needs our prayers.

Some Good News

2005-09-01T19:33:00.000-04:00

Finally, there is some good news. College football kicks off tonight!! Now, I know that with all that is going on in New Orleans (and other gulf coast towns), football is the last thing on most people's minds. I for one am glad to have something else to watch than the colossal mess that is going on in New Orleans. There needs to be someone to take charge down there. I just get so mad sitting here watching what is going on on the TV. Could someone please stand up and take charge???!!!
I told Ivan that the Army should send him there. At least he would take charge and get those people out. Tikrit, Iraq was safer when he was there than New Orleans.
Ok, enough on that....
Ivan did come home today and said that there might be a dozen and a half so "command" slots open. He asked what I thought about staying here or moving on. Right now, the desert seems to be a safe place. =) Well, except that this county has been declared a "disaster area" because of all the illegals crossing over.
To be honest, I doubt any place on earth is really safe. I firmly believe that we are in the "end times" and it will only get worse.
The children were able to talk to their dad today. He wondered when he would be able to see them, and I told him we would bring them in for Christmas, and if he wanted, we could meet somewhere for Thanksgiving. I even offered to let him stay here some weekend if he wanted to come here to spend time with them.
Seems their dad is going to be working offshore on an oil rig in the gulf in the near future. I really hope he will be able to do that. I really do want to see him happy.
Tonight we are having "sloppy jo's". I wanted something easy so I could watch football. Plus, we are going window shopping for the children's bikes. We promised them that on Wednesday, we would get them each a bike.
My prayers are still being lifted for those in the gulf states.
In His Love,
~Carmelita

My Test Yesterday

2005-08-31T11:38:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to post that everything went well with my uterine biopsy yesterday. It was not painful at all, though I was feeling a little "loopy" afterwards. I was home by 0900, and went to bed and slept till 1400 when Ivan came to wake me up. I should have the results back sometime next week.
Today is a catch up day from yesterday. Ivan has a weigh-in today at 1100 and that is all. This evening Courtney has swim (she is on the swim team) and then we have church. I am planning on cooking lasagna for dinner. I use the "no cook" noodles, so all I need to do is bake it in the oven.
Today I am doing laundry. Seems like I need to do laundry every few days.
I am continuing to pray for those along the Gulf Coast. My heart just breaks for all those people.
I pray everyone has a blessed day in the Lord.
In His Love,
~Carmelita

Monday Morning

2005-08-29T08:54:00.000-04:00

I don't know about you, but I am beginning to like Mondays. To me, it is like a fresh start every week. It reminds me of Lamentations 3:22-23. God's mercies are new every morning.
Today my prayers are with all those in the path of Hurricane Katrina. I spent some time last evening in prayer (I was unable to sleep) and will pray for all those in harms way today. I know of several online friends (or their families) who had to evacuate.
I would also like to ask my prayer warriors to pray for a cousin of one of my separated army girlfriends. Her cousin was born a few days ago with a severe infection and is in the NICU at Children's Hospital in Cook county (he was Careflighted there) and is on 4 different antibiotics. He is on the breathing machine, but is taking a few breaths on his own. Please pray that God will heal his tiny body from the bacterial infection that he is battling. His name is Caleb, so you can pray for him by name. =)
Today is Ivan's first day back for this month. Bless his heart, he had running today for PT. We did climb one of the mountains here Saturday, so maybe that will have helped him some. We will find out later today when school will actually start for him.
Both of the children have school today, so I plan on CLEANING!!! It is just so much easier to clean when no one is here. I need to dust, mop the floors and get some baking done. I have chicken thighs in the refridgerator thawing, so that will be dinner tonight.
I want to get as much done today as possible, so I will be able to rest tomorrow. Tomorrow morning I am having an Endometrial Biopsy done, so would like to be able to rest if I do have much cramping afterwards. My OB doctor wants to ensure that I am ovulating, and this is the best way to determine if I am or not.
I pray that everyone has a blessed day in the Lord today.
In His Love,
~Carmelita

Just Another Day

2005-08-26T09:19:00.000-04:00

Well yesterday was a busy day. Courtney walked to and from school, and we took Jesse to school and got him started. He will do ok, but he really wanted to be homeschooled. He understands though, that it was his dad who would not allow for it. Bless his heart. I have tried to protect him for so long, but he is beginning to see how his dad really is. I try to never say anything negative about him, but when his dad does not call, well, how do you explain that?
Yesterday for dinner I served "Straw Hats". We had those often in the summer growing up, and would have them on Sundays after church when company would come. You start out with corn chips, crush them on your plate and then add hamburger meat, then beans (I used Ranch style, but you can use Pinto, Red Kidney, etc.) then comes the cheese, lettuce, tomato, ketchup, mayo, pickle relish, and tobasco sauce. What is so nice about these, whatever someone does not like, they can omit from their hat. My family had never had them before, and they really liked them.
Today I have an OB appointment. I am going to see if there is any reason why we have yet to conceive.
I still am longing to get on a schedule. I am only sleeping a few hours a night, and Ivan is wanting me to start taking an afternoon nap. The children keep me busy. =)
This is Ivan's last day of leave, so Monday we will be back on his routine as well. I am just so thankful to my Heavenly Father for all of the blessings He has given us. Having both children here with me has been a dream of mine since 1999.
Today for dinner I am having soft taco's. I want to use the lettuce up before it goes bad, even though it is similar to what we had last night.
I hope everyone has a blessed day today!
In His Love,
~Carmelita

When Plans Change

2005-08-25T09:11:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I received a call from Jesse's dad. Seems he found out we were planning on homeschooling, and after being cursed at, told I was stupid and inept, and told he was on his way to pick up the children, he hung up. I immediately called my attorney, and found I have no legal ground right now to stand on (the children have not lived with me long enough, and I have nothing in writing from him saying I can have the children) we decided not to homeschool this year. Jesse will attend public school here on post.
On a brighter note, both are in beginning band. Courtney will learn the clarinet, while Jesse is starting out on some sort of drums.
We went to church last night, and both loved it. We were able to plug right back in to Missionettes and Royal Rangers. I must admit, I needed to hear the Word last night. My emotions were a little frazzled I must admit.
I know that God will have me learning something from this, and I must remember to thank Him for my blessings. Having both children here truly is a blessing, and I will remember that.
Jesse's middle school requires uniforms (a first for us) so I need to go and buy some more when I have the chance. I only bought enough to last him a few days. He still needs one more pair of pants, and two or more shirts.
Today I will take him to school, then come home and finish unpacking from the trip. School lets out today at 1330, so they will be home early.
In His Love,
~Carmelita

HOME SWEET HOME

2005-08-24T13:05:00.000-04:00

We are finally home!!! We made it in about 1900 last night. We drove over 5,000 miles total, and went through 16 different states.
I feel refreshed spiritually now, and am glad that I was given the opportunity to not only go home, but visit Amish Country as well. It helped me to put my priorities in line. Things change, time changes, and it is ok. Visiting the Amish community made me see that I can be a Christian just the way I am. I do not have to change my life to fit into someone else's expectations. I need to please my Father God.
Courtney started school today, and her teacher seems really nice. I called ACE to order Jesse's books, and they should be here by the end of next week.
Today him and Ivan will mow the grass and clean out the Expedition. It is dirty after such a long trip.
I need to make a grocery list, and then go grocery shopping. I bought an Amish cookbook while in Holmes County, and cannot wait to start cooking from that. It was made by Alma Hershberger. I met her when we were visiting Schrock's Amish farm. She is a real neat Old Order Amish lady, and I told her I would write to her.
While there, Alma told us about a blind Amish lady, so we stopped by her house so we could visit. Mom was with us (she is blind as well) and they hit it off so well. She is allowed a phone in her home (even though she is Old Order Amish) and I told her that I would keep in touch with her as well. Mom will call her too, and they can send tapes back and forth. She is allowed a tape player too because of her blindness. She plays the guitar and the accordian too. Both ladies were and inspiration to me. Sometimes I feel that we have preconceived notions about what a "plain" person can and cannot do, and then God shows us otherwise.
I am thankful to be home, thankful that both Jesse and Courtney are here, and thankful for a husband who allows me to wear a covering. Ever since purchasing my coverings in Holmes County, I have worn one. I feel so much peace inside me.
I am so glad to be back. I have missed all my online friends.
May God Bless Each One of You!!!!
In His Love,
~Carmelita

Amish Country...Ohio

2005-08-19T23:39:00.000-04:00

I wanted to add a picture of my covering that I bought in Holmes County. It is a black lace, and I have it on in the picture. This picture was taken in an Amish home, with the guide, my mom, and the children. It was taken in the main living room.
We spent two days there in Holmes County, and I came away renewed in spirit. After hearing so much from the "online" community about what "plain" Mennonites or Amish do or don't do, wear or dont wear, etc., it was a wonderful experience to go experience it for myself. I came away feeling more accepted by God than ever before. It was nice seeing an Amish lady wearing "flip flops", or a Mennonite woman with just a skirt and blouse and sandals. It made me see that one certain style of dress or shoes, or hose, is not important. It is what is on the inside.
Ivan picked out my covering, and I am now wearing it full time. I wear jumpers, skirts, or dresses, and sandals or flip flops. I am beginning to come to peace with myself.
I have been feeling lately that if I am not dressed "plain", then I am not a "Christian", but what is "plain"? To some, flip flops would be a sin, yet to the Amish, it was acceptable. I have decided it does not matter what others think of me; it matters what God and my husband thinks of me. If my husband says I can wear sandals, then I am not sinning.
I think too much emphasis can be placed on the outward, while the inward is forgotten. If we are busy doing God's work (helping other's), we do not have time to be concerned with whether someone is a Christian by the color of their hose (or lack thereof).
We only have two days left in Ohio, and then we are homeward bound. I look foward to being back in a routine and sharing so much of my life with you. I bought a wonderful Amish cookbook, and can hardly wait to start cooking upon my return home.
May God Bless Each One of You!!!
In His Love,
~Carmelita

More On Vacation

2005-08-17T20:23:00.000-04:00

Well we have now arrived in Ohio. We left Virginia Monday morning, and I was sick most of the way home (as was Courtney). I felt so miserable Tuesday morning, Ivan ended up taking me to the ER. Today was the first day that we have all felt good since Monday. Last week we went to the Outer Banks of North Carolina, and I must admit, I got SUNBURNED!! We arrived in Virginia Friday, and stayed with the family Ivan lived with his junior, senior year of High School. What a beautiful family. I felt more at home with them than his own family (as did my mom). I am going to add a picture of Ivan, the children and I there in Virginia and you will be able to see, I am a little red.
Tomorrow we are going to Holmes County Ohio and spending the night with a Conservative Mennonite couple. They have rooms that they rent out for travelers. I am hoping to find a covering or two ready made somewhere in Amish Country. I am looking for a small black lace one.
This morning, while everyone was still in bed, I went to "The Flour Barrel" in Gettysburg, Ohio, and bought several bulk items to take back to AZ with me. I bought 10 lbs of flour, two packages of yeast, jello, soup mix, and the list just goes on and on.
I am thinking I will buy a few ACE books for Jesse, so that way he will be able to start school when we return the end of next week.
Courtney is still wanting to return to her dad's, so we will have to see. Much prayer is going up for her to decide to stay with me. I covet your prayers on her behalf.
Well, I must run along, but know I miss you all so very much, and everyone of my "online" friends are on my mind.
God Bless You All!!!!
In His Love,
~Carmelita

Home In West Palm Beach

2005-08-08T23:15:00.000-04:00

I thought I would share a couple of pictures of our home in West Palm Beach. This is the home Ivan had built two years ago, and his parents are living in it till his retirement in eight years. There is a close up, and one farther away of the front.
Courtney thinks Ivan should get out of the Army now, so we can move to Lufkin, TX where her dad is. She just cannot comprehend that the Army is not allowing any soldier to leave right now. "Stop Loss Stop Leave" is still in effect. Hopefully when eight years are up, Ivan will be able to leave.
It never ceases to amaze me the amount of sacrifice our family is doing for this great nation. We cannot be like "everyone" else. We must give up so much so that others can enjoy their freedoms and liberties. I am very proud of my husband and what he does, but it does take its toll on our family from time to time. SACRIFICE is something we live.
I did not mean for this post to be sappy or emotional. It is just that tomorrow we will be leaving our home, and at times, it does get hard.
We plan to go to Virginia next, but stop in Daytona Beach, Fl (Ivan graduated from Embry Riddle) and then on to the outer banks of North Carolina before stopping to visit Williamsburg, Va.

Pictures

2005-08-08T13:50:00.000-04:00

I am going to load a picture of Ivan and I with his parents, his sister, and her children, along with a girl who his paretns raised, as well as Jesse and Courtney. Jesse is in the white shirt, and Courtney has the blond hair. I am in the light green shirt.
This was taken yesterday at the reunion held at Embassy Suites in Ft. Lauderdale, Fl. I will try and load a piture of my mom later.
I am missing everyone.
In His Love,
~Carmelita

Vacation...In Florida

2005-08-06T09:34:00.000-04:00

Hello all!!! Just wanted to share with everyone that we made it to Florida safe and sound. We left Arizona Monday afternoon around 1600 (4:00 pm) and arrived in San Antonio Tues. morning. We went to Schlitterbahn (a large waterpark) on Tuesday, and then spent the night. Wednesday morning, we got up and got dressed to get on the road again. Courtney walked in on Ivan shaving, and looked at him with this weird look. Within five minutes she was crying that she wanted to go back to her dads. I text messaged her dad to call her (his phone is turned off) and then we left and went to the Alamo. Her dad called while we were there, and after talking to her, told me to send her home. Actually, he was not as nice as that, for his words had several curse words in them. I told him we would drop her off on our way to Florida, as we would be driving through Houston (and he lives only a hour and 15 minutes north). While we were driving to Houston, I was praying to God. I placed everything in His hands. I had been crying on and off the whole time, and Courtney was upset that I was crying. Ivan told both her and Jesse that I try to protect them and not tell them things, but they are old enough to know. Ivan told Courtney she was breaking my heart.
Well she decided that she wanted to go on vacation with us, and as we are driving back from Ohio to Arizona, she wants us to drop her off in Texas. Her dad agreed, so that is the plan now. I am praying that this trip will open her eyes, and she will at least try living with me. I already enrolled her and Jesse in soccer Monday before I left and am hoping she will change her mind. This vacation is now bittersweet. I am preparing to let my dear daughter go at the end of this month. The rollercoaster ride never seems to end. Please pray that she will decide to live with me.
I found out that her dad last Saturday, threatened to kill his soon to be wife (they were married the next day), because she slapped him across the face. This is his third marriage, and I am glad to know I am not the only woman he has threatened to kill. His sister told me she thinks those are his favorite words of endearment. I know Courtney had to see this, and of course, she is effected by it. Her old stepmom broke windows in the house when she found out Charlie (the children's dad) cheated on her. Courtney did not sleep well for several days after that. I can only pray that her emotional scars will heal. They can only heal though if she is away from the situation and in a safe, warm, loving and caring environment. Please keep us in your prayers.
My mom flew in from Ohio last night into Miami, and then today we will drive North to West Palm Beach to my inlaws. There is a family reunion on Ivan's dad's side tomorrow in Ft. Lauderdale. We will spend a few days in West Palm and then head to Virginia. We are planning to stop along the coast somewhere and then spend a day at Williamsburg.
I just wanted to update everyone on where I am and what is going on.
To all my friends on Separated Army Girlfriends...I am reading your emails on my cell when I can. The moderators over there are doing an awesome job...thank-you so much!! I will introduce myself to the group upon my return home. Remember, my cell number is listed there if you need to call me.
To all my friends on Backyard Fence, I am praying for you all and hope everyone is doing well.
To all my "internet" friends, I love and miss you all so very much. I can't wait to get home and chat with you all again.
In His Love,
~Carmelita

Tomorrow

2005-07-30T17:40:00.000-04:00

Well tomorrow is the day I have prayed for since 1999. It will be the first time since that year that I am a full time mom. My children's father is getting married tomorrow to his third wife, and after the ceremony, is putting them on a plane (one way) to come live with me. I am overjoyed at God's goodness. This has been something I have prayed for many years. I would like to say that I was "super Christian" and never doubted God, but that would not be the truth. I had my periods of questioning and wondering how many laps in the wilderness I was required to take. I can relate to the Israelites when God had them walking around in the wilderness all those years. That is how I have felt. I am to learn to trust God in the wilderness, and have faith that He will provide for my every need. I am just glad this journey is almost over.
I know that God will use me to be an inspiration to others. When things look bleak, God is always there.
I am preparing for the upcoming vacation. I have picked out the music for the trip. Nine "Gospel Echoes" (a Mennonite prison ministry that records one music CD a year)CD's, two Classic Hymns CD's, and Handel's Messiah performed by the London Philharmonic Orchestra & Choir. For Handel's "Messiah", I have printed out the history behind the composure of that piece of music, so we will do a little "music lesson" on the trip. Plus, I think my mom will enjoy it as well. A very beautiful piece of music encompassing the birth, death, and resurrection of our Savior. Each segment is based on scripture.
I need to do a load of clothes today, and that is about all. Monday will be busy as we will be shopping for last minute items.
Last night, Ivan wanted to go watch a movie, and for some reason, I felt at peace with it. While at the movies, I saw a lady come in with her husband and sit down. She had a charity style veil on (maroon) so I went and talked to her. She had no idea that their are plain groups online, and I got her phone number and promised to giver her a call. She said she is the only one at her church that covers, and made her own covering. She did not know of all the different coverings one can buy out there. I just felt like God wanted me there. She was an inspiration to me.
I think that often God moves in our lives when we are obedient to our husbands. Ivan knows that I am not a movie person. I prefer not to watch any movies or TV, but will occasionally. Last night, it was like I knew that I was to go for some reason. No trying to get out of it by saying we can't afford it, or I am tired, or any other excuse. I was like, "Let's go". Later I was reflecting that God can do wonderful things when I just simply follow my husband.
In His Love,
~Carmelita

Unbelievable

2005-07-29T13:57:00.000-04:00

I want to write today on something that was brought to my attention yesterday. It has to do with a married couple by the name of Dale and Amy Bartell. Dale is a SPC (E-4) in the US Army, and after attending a Mennonite church, decided that he believed the doctrine and practices of the Mennonite church and asked the US Army for conscientious objector status. Now Dale had already served one tour in Iraq, before his Christian beliefs changed. He was sentenced in mid July to four months in prison and a dishonorable discharge because he was found guilty of "intent to avoid hazardous duty".
What is so "in your face", is that his wife is facing felony charges for allegedly enticing her husband to desert his unit before he shipped out of Iraq. Look up their names in a online search, you can get the whole store. This is the first time a spouse of a service member is facing felony charges for the service members crime. She is facing three years in prison. She is the mother of four children between the ages of 1-11. I am surprised the government did not go after the 11 year old as well!! This is ludricous, to say the least.
I grew up conservative Anabaptist, and my whole family was conscientious objectors. I broke rank and became a soldier, and married a soldier, but I still feel that this nation must recognize CO status. This great country we call America, was founded on religious freedom's, and that includes religions that are pacifist.
Amy Bartell will be in US District court in Colorado Springs Co Aug. 17 for her hearing.
This is pathetic, to say the least. Going after the wife because she too was a member in the Mennonite church and upheld her husbands beliefs and convictions. I am praying that charges will be dropped or she will be found innocent. Should she be found guilty, this will set new precedence in a road we will not want to travel.
Please be in prayer for this family.
I have so many thoughts on this, that I can hardly keep them all straight. I just wanted to get this story out there to my readers.

Do You Really Want a Glimpse of my Life?!?!

2005-07-28T12:30:00.000-04:00

I know some of you read this blog to get an idea of what life is like as a military officer's wife. Well let me give you a glimpse. Not much different from that as any other military spouse, but it can be funny or frustrating at the same time.
I had received my authorization in the mail for a visit to the infertility specialist, so I call the number listed. The very nice receptionist informs me that the doctor they had me listed to see, has never came to Sierra Vista, and if I want to see her, I need to go to Tucson.
I call TriWest back and speak to a lady who gives me the names of three other doctor's. When I ask about one I already made an appointment with, she told me he was not in the system, so he was not authorized. I told her he told me he was, and she again said that he wasn't. After hanging up the phone, I called the original number of the doctor that is in Tucson. The nice receptionist informed me that two of the doctors indeed, used to come to Sierra Vista, but they were high risk ob and not infertility, and on top of that, they stopped coming a year ago. When I asked about the third doctor, he never came at all. She told me I do not know why TriWest has us coded wrong in their system.
So, I called TriWest back, and spoke to a new agent. Guess what, the original doctor I asked about seeing, is in their system. I am now authorized to go see him.
I made an appointment for the children to see a dentist in September, so I am hoping that authorization will go smoother. TriWest does not handle dental, so we will be going through a different insurer for that.
Today I need to start a list of all the things we need to take with us on the trip. On Monday, Ivan will take the children shopping for shoes, some clothes, and whatever else they need. I will be sleeping so I can drive at night. He really needs to experience clothes shopping with my 10 dd at least once in his life. It is an experience one will not soon forget. GREAT BONDING TOO!!! =)
I need to rearrange the garage some, so that way Ivan can park his truck inside while we are gone. We still have boxes in there from the movers!! I am sure some things will still be in boxes come Feb and we move again.
Last night on my separatedarmygirlfriend site, I sent out a letter to my moderators that had them thinking I really had lost it. I was confusing two different members and in the end, told them I was going to bed. These are a wonderful bunch of girls. Some are married, some are engaged, and some are single, but all are the "significant other" to a US Soldier. Some are deployed, some are home, some are in basic training, some are in school (like Ivan...but I am here with him). It is a wonderful place for ladies to go who need support while their bf, fiancee, or husband is gone.
I think the last of Proverbs is Proverbs 31. I am not going to type it out, but try to read it today, and see what it says to you.
To me, it tells me that I have some more work to do. My house could be a little more orderly, I could do a little more sewing, I could help others more, the list could go on and on. Of course, I am going to pick one thing that I could work on more, and start spending time with that.
Ivan is not home yet as he had to go get tags and stickers for the new vehicle. I told him last night, I do not deserve such a nice vehicle. He informed me that not only is he the protector, he is the provider.
One thing about Ivan, that you do not see often in young men, he plans far into the future. He is already putting about 25% of his paycheck into savings of some sort. For being 32, he understands financially responsibility. I on the other hand, would give my last penny to help someone else out. Ivan has been helping me balance that. I can give, I just can't give so much that my own family suffers. I have helped a few people here and there, but I want to bless others. God has blessed me beyond my wildest imagination, so I in turn, want to show my appreciation, and bless others. By doing something for others, I am doing it for God. I do it, not because I have to, I do things because I want to. I like being able to bring a smile to someone's face. In blessing other's, you yourself receive a blessing.
In His Love,
~Carmelita

Car Shopping

2005-07-27T21:02:00.000-04:00

For those of you who do not know, Ivan and I have been shopping for a new vehicle. It is an experience similar to that of going to the dentist. Eventually, you just have to break down and go.
I am glad to have that experience behind us.
We are prepping for our upcoming vacation. We will drive to Florida next week, and then drive to Ohio to my mother's house. The really neat thing is that we are flying my mom down to Miami on a one way ticket, then she will ride back to Ohio with us. This way, we will not be so focused on getting to Ohio to spend some time with her. She will be on vacation with us.
For those of you who do not know, Ivan owns a home in West Palm Beach and a condo in Miami. He had planned on retiring in West Palm in 8 years, but now things are different. Right now, his parents live in the home in West Palm, and the condo is rented out.
Sometimes I miss having my own "home" to decorate as I wish. When you live in military housing, you cannot add to or take away from the property. This includes putting in curtain rods (we have mini blinds, hanging pictures, etc. The house must be in the same condition when you leave. No holes, no wallpaper, no borders, no nothing. It can get a little depressing at time.
It has finally begun raining here. I am thanking God!!
Please remember my friend Angela today. It was a year ago today that she lost her husband while doing PT (physical training) at Ft. Bragg. They had a little boy who was around six months old. Zane was a West Point grad and died of heatstroke from doing PT. Just pray for God's mercy to be there with her. She is a Christian, but it still is hard. Her heart is starting to heal though.
In His Love,
~Carmelita

More on Submission

2005-07-26T10:11:00.000-04:00

Thank-you to every one who has sent me emails and has posted to my blog. God has used you to encourage me. Thank-you for listening to Him and dropping me a line. As I was cooking Ivan breakfast this morning, my thoughts were running ahead as to what I would write on here today.
The thought came to me, "How many Sunday School classes, how many sermons, how many women's study groups, how many books, how many groups, how many conversations with others will it take for me to obey just a few verses in the Bible?".
It seems every few years a new Christian book hits the market that becomes "the one to read", and I am not saying there is nothing wrong with that. I myself wanted to be in a internet group that studied "Created to be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl, but God said otherwise.
But seriously, I really was thinking this morning, we as professing Christians know what the Bible says in Ephesians 5:22 "Wives submit yourselves unto you own husbands, as unto the Lord".
2 Peter 3:1-6 "Likewise ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, the also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement."
Now, to me, it is crystal clear: "I am to submit to my husband".
I know some women will be saying, "But what about my rights?". I just love what Elizabeth Rice Handford said in her book, "Me? Obey Him?". In there she says that as a Christian, we have no rights (whether we be male or female) and that our husbands are the only people we get to *chose* who we will obey. We did not pick our parents, and we had to obey them; we had to obey our teachers, and we did not get to pick them; we have to obey the laws of the land we live in and most of us have little say in what laws are passed. The only person here on earth we are able to *chose* to obey is our husbands.
If more women would seriously contemplate on what the Bible says about what she is to do once married, I think we would be much more careful in who we pick to marry.
Now, let me be the first to admit, I still struggle. Just last night as we were taking our evening walk, Ivan wanted to walk one block farther, and I did not. I wish to say that I submitted sweetly, but I must confess, inside I was upset. In my heart I was praying, "oh God, why?" Do you know what God said to me?! Yep, you guessed it! I was to submit. It was not about me. It is all about God. Doing what He says, when He says, without rebellion. God, as my Heavenly Father, expects me to obey Him, the same way I expect my children to obey me.
Now, if it will take reading 20 books, 10 sermon series, 15 yahoo groups, etc. to get it great. However, it can also take a few minutes in my Bible reading, and saying "Yes, Father, I will obey". So simple. Too simple. Just like salvation. It is a free gift, yet to us it seems to easy, so we like to add on extra's to make it harder, make it seem like we have "earned" it. That is not what the Bible teaches though. Faith Alone will save you. It is a gift from God, freely given, so freely we must receive.
If you are a Christian, the next step of submission really should not be that hard. Too easy. Just believe, and do.
Like I said before, I am far from perfect, but I need to spend more time chasing after what God says than what man says.
In His Love,
~Carmelita

My Husband's Umbrella of Protection

2005-07-25T11:37:00.000-04:00

Many of you are wondering why I left the groups, so with Ivan's blessing, I will try and explain what made him decide to let me go. I still am on two, but I own those, and dh felt that is my ministry at this point.
Saturday afternoon, our last session at the homeschool conference was titled "Moms and Dads: Teaming up in the Home School" by Mike and Alice Deltene. The Deltene's have been married 23 years and began homeschooling 12 years ago. Mike is currently serving as the President on the board of Arizona Families for Home Education. They have six children.
Both spoke to moms and dads. Mike spoke to the men, Alice to the ladies. They had props to show the father's role in the home, and the mother's role in the home. Since I happened to volunteer to show off the mom's role, it made it fun. Mike spoke to men about being priests of their home and the prop was the Bible. Then he went on to say they are the protector of the home. The prop for that was the shield police officers use during drug busts. He went on to explain to men, you are responsible for ensuring no one gets to your wife. You are to protect her from outside family, friends, church members, etc., who do not believe the way you do. She is depending on you to shelter her. She wants you to shelter her. God wants you to shelter her.
Then when it came to the women, I held an umbrella to show that I am under my husband's protection.
Now, on the way home, we had an interesting conversation. There had been people on several of my groups who felt that I was "unteachable", or that I was "well known for taking a more liberal progressive stand on issues than is the norm for our very conservative group of believers". I had seen an email where someone said, "That while what I say sounds good, her life does not add up".
Ivan had seen this going on for the past couple of weeks, and as we talked about it, I got more and more upset. I was saying things like, "Can't they see how far I have come?" See I used to wear only jeans, now I wear only skirts or jumpers. Ivan saw the pieces of my heart in shreds, and knew, with the help of God, over time I could become the lady God wanted to be.
I am not going to go into much detail, but I have been almost strangled to death, had a gun to my head, made to suck on the barrel of a gun, been raped, have had sex used against me to see my children, and the list just goes on and on. Through all this, I had been hanging on to God with a thread. Most of the time, though I knew He existed, I just could not believe or trust Him. Since Ivan asked me to marry him in Dec. 2003, I have slowly been coming back around to where I came from. I am beginning to trust again, believe God does has a plan for my life, and try to live out my plan.
I was sobbing to my husband, "Why don't they like me?. They could always moderate me, why can't they let me join their groups so I can learn better how to be a Christian woman? Doesn't Titus 2 apply to me as well? Why? Why? Why?"
So when we got home, Ivan decided to have me read a few of the emails. Since some of people who felt this way were on several groups, and so intertwined, Ivan said, "Let them all go. I am the protector of this home and I WILL NOT allow you to be emotionally drained and torn apart and put down. You are doing the best that you can with the circumstances you have, and no one could ask for a better wife or mother. The fact that you are so quick to help others, even if it means you doing without, speaks that you have the heart of Christ in you. You love others to the point it hurts you, yet you try to keep on loving. Well, enough is enough. I am going to say, that, for now, leave the groups. Once we get back from our vacation in August, and we get settled in a school routine, you may approach me about joining one or two groups again. Until then, rest!"
All I want to do is be a blessing to those around me, encourage the ladies who are walking a very difficult road (I feel that God has brought me through so much to be a blessing to others) and feel that there is no hope for them. I want them to know that there is hope, and that you can get through this day. We are only promised today, so don't worry about tomorrow.
Since my ex had custody of my children, I was not allowed to be the "mom" most women are. For over half of my children's life, I have been the every other weekend and every Wed. night parent. Though often, it seemed, I would not have them all my scheduled times because their stepmom would refuse to let me have them. Thrown into this situation, you must learn to adapt. You try and become your children's friend, try to get them to know that you love them unconditionally. I cannot tell you how many tears I have cried for my children, or how many prayers I have prayed for them, or how many fast I went on, that does not matter. God has heard my prayers, and this Sunday, both my son and daughter are flying to AZ first class. Ivan and I bought the tickets, and my children are coming home. All the glory and honor goes to my Heavenly Father. We now have to become a family. We will have to show the children that there will be food every day, that there will be a paycheck every week, that we will have electricity, that we do not get drunk, we do not throw wild parties, we do not associate with drug users, or use drugs ourselves. We go to church on Sundays, and we rest on Sundays as well. God is the leader of our home. You will not be beat with a belt if you do not make an A, and on and on.
Ivan thinks I need to spend so much time with the children showing them the way a "normal Christian" family is. I am slowly remembering myself. I am slowly letting the wounds of the past heal. Some have scabbed over, some have already scarred, but some are still bleeding.
I know this was a long post, but I wanted to clear the air. Ivan loves me so much, that he has opened the umbrella of protection for me. I know the blessing will be standing under that umbrella, protected from things that would bring me down and want me to give up on my Christian walk.
In His Love,
~Carmelita

New Direction In Life

2005-07-24T17:43:00.000-04:00

Well, for those who know me from many lists, you know that I have left most. The only ones I am on are those that I started. Ivan felt I needed to let go, but I needed to stay on with the groups that I did start.
We came back from the homeschool conference in Phoenix and had a wonderful time on Friday and Saturday.
I am going back to seek my roots. I have been told I am too "liberal" or "progressive" for most Conservative Christians, so dh felt I need to let go. I have spent the last week trying to figure out where I go from here. I don't know. I will be honest with all of you, I have no idea where to go, what to do, or where to turn except to rely on God 100%. DH told me to stop worrying what anyone else thought of me, but worry about pleasing God first and then him.
This is the last week before the children come, and I plan on spending most of time in prayer to seek God's will.
The Bible verse that I am holding on to right now is this: "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these "things" will be added unto you."
In His Love,
~Carmelita

Overwhelmed

2005-07-21T18:34:00.000-04:00

Today is one of those days I just feel so overwhelmed. We are going to the homeschool conference in Phoenix tomorrow and Saturday, and I have been trying to figure out what curriculum I like ahead of time to give me an idea. The problem is that one person really likes one curriculum, while another one says it was not what they liked. I have been online looking at so many different curriculums. My problem is I want the very best for my children when it comes to education. I do not want them 18 and finding out that we missed something important. Oh, I really wish I could get some input from some of you other homeschooling moms.
Ivan, bless his heart, never liked to read or study, so his attitude is one of "whatever". He tells me I will be the one teaching, and he is sorry, but he cannot get excited about "school".
Today is just one of those days when I just don't know where to turn or what to do. I asked Ivan the other day in tears if I could just give up. He told me no.
We are trying to plan a vacation next month to Florida and Ohio. Ivan's family is having a big get together in Florida in August. Seems like the family is coming in from the East Coast and Haiti. Of course, mil wants us there. She asked me the other night if I had any "nice" dresses that were low cut with spaghetti straps. I laughed and said no, but I do have a nice light green shirt (short sleeved) and a very nice flowery skirt (ankle length) that would be appropriate for their get together. Seems they all like to dress up and wear their jewelry. Jewelry was a status symbol for them in Haiti showing that they were upper class.
I also have an appointment with the infertility specialist the end of August. That should be interesting!!!
Today for lunch I had country fried steak, dilled potatoes, and french style green beans. The dilled potatoes are so easy to make. Just cube your potatoes after peeling, boil till tender, and drain. Put back in the pan with butter and then add some dried dill. It is good.
Sunday I will post on Proverbs 30. I need to do some research on that Proverb, and I still have much to accomplish here. Have a blessed weekend everyone.
In His Love,
~Carmelita

Cleaning

2005-07-20T13:51:00.000-04:00

Wow, after my restful day yesterday, I am on a cleaning spree. I already have done three loads of laundry, dusted the living room, and cleaned the bathroom. I need to work on the dining area though. I have homeschool books, cookbooks, and my stamping collection all over the table.
I started a new group on yahoo. Since the "incident" on the other group, I decided I would create a safe haven for women who were at different levels on their walk with the Lord. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Keepers_of_the_Home/ is the new group. I hope some of you Christian women who read this blog will be led to come and join.
This afternoon and this evening are leftover meals. There is enough beef stew from yesterday and last night I made a casserole because I had to use the chicken that was in the refrigerator.
The Schwan's man came today and we had a nice little chat. Seems they plan to homeschool their daughter who will be in 8th grade this year. When he found out I was going to the homeschool conference, he asked if I would bring a goody bag back for him on the different curriculums out there. I told him most certainly. He also did not bat an eye at my covering. Told me that his brother-in-law lives in Kansas and him and his whole family are Mennonite. The next door neighbor and I chatted as well, and she does not seem to look at me "funny" when I am covered. I try to act like it is normal, and nothing out of the ordinary. =)
I am not sure where we left off in our study of Proverbs. I will go to Proverbs 27:15-16 "A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. Whosoever hideth he hideth the wind, and the ointment of his right hand which bewrayeth itself."
You know how annoying it is to hear a faucet dripping slowly?!?! Drip. Drip. Drip. It can drive you crazy. The same is of a woman who is always quarrelling with her husband or others, or always trying to start a dispute.
I for one, avoid confrontation, but I wonder how many times Ivan thinks I am starting an argument just for the sake of arguing? I know for myself that I must constantly be aware of my speech when I am talking out loud, or online.
May Each One of You have a BLESSED day.
In Christ's Love,
~Carmelita

Busy Day Yesterday

2005-07-19T12:05:00.000-04:00

Wow, yesterday was BUSY and fun. In the morning we were detainees in a town where the MI people had to interrogate us for information. We were all given names and roles. I always seemed to be the loud, rude female. It was different for me, as I try to always be ladylike, but I did get a lot of aggression out. There were several of the soldiers who promised "They would be looking for me" that night.
We decided to chew up cookies to a soft consistency, then put in the corner with coffee grounds as our "poop". When the interrogators would come, I would yell at them and throw "poop" on them. One guy actually had coffee grounds running down his face. The Instructors loved us. They said we were the best group to role play. I think what made it better was all were officers except me, and most had already been to Iraq, so they could come up with the best ideas (of course, these ideas came from practical experience).
The night time mission was a riot. There were always four teams that rotated through, so it would take several hours. In the evening, I had a much quieter role. I played waitress at the local bar. Sometimes I had intel, sometimes I did not. It was fun as I felt I really was helping soldiers get an idea about what it might be like when they really deploy. Of course, it will be hundreds time worse, for they will actually fear for their lives, but it was good for them being exposed to "hostile" people. We even had "CNN" and "Amnesty International" there (role players) writing down every abuse. Of course we hyped up the emotions when the camera was nearby.
Today is a down day. We both stay home. I am going to rest from yesterday. I sprained my ankle last night when we "captured" an American soldier who was left behind. He was running, I was running, and he stepped on my ankle. It feels better today.
I have stew in the crockpot for tonight. To let you know how badly I cheated today on my cooking, I used store bought stew meat, frozen stew vegetables, and put them both in the crockpot with salt, garlic, pepper, and Mrs. Dash. I have it on low so it should be ready for dinner tonight.
I am just physically and emotionally drained from all the role playing Sunday night and then both morning and night yesterday. I think I will spend most of my day in bed listening to Charity messages.
Please continue to pray for our troops. Working with them the past few days has made me more aware that they need our prayers now more than ever. So many are getting ready for their second rotation over there.
Everyone, have a blessed day in the Lord and read whatever Bible verse you would like today. I am too tired to post one. Please, leave you comments for me, so I can get new ideas for when we are finished with Proverbs which, by the way, will be soon.
In His Love,
~Carmelita

Pictures Of My House

2005-07-17T18:16:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to post a picture of the front of our home and the back of the home.
It has been a quite day today. Ivan was out helping train the Reserve and Guard interrogators this morning, and he is going back out tonight. The really neat thing is I can go with him. I can be a participant in a "village" where the US must interrogate. It is prepping them for Iraq and Afghanistan. I feel like I am actually doing something to help my country. I am so excited. I will be doing something fun and useful.
Today for lunch I chopped up a chicken breast that I cooked in broth, added noodles to the broth and cream of chicken soup, and that was lunch along with some veggies. We are both so full that we probably won't eat before we go to work.
Just wanted to share the pictures and the good news with everyone.
May everyone have a blessed day in the Lord.

2005-07-17T18:14:00.000-04:00

Can They Tell If You Are A Christian??

2005-07-16T13:59:00.000-04:00

Ok, I am still wheeling from yesterday. Some things were brought to my attention that just shocked me. So, my question is, How can they tell if you are a Christian? Better yet...how do you know if I am a Christian...or do you?!?!
I grew up in a Conservative Anabaptist background. My church was called Old German Baptist Brethren. Similar in some ways to the Amish and Mennonites, but very different in others. My mother was blind and my dad had polio, so it was a unique growing up life. My parents adopted me (I came to live with them at 6 mo) because my mom did not want to pass on her glaucoma to any child she might have. Back then, medical science is not what it is today. I left the church on my 18th birthday, because I was an adult and knew better right!? LOL Oh my, it has not been an easy road.
Today I wear dresses, skirts, and jumpers as I try to dress modestly according to 1 Peter 2:9-10 "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array. But (which becometh a woman professing godliness) with good works."
I am always looking for ways to be a blessing to others. I give to others in need as I can. I am always looking to be a blessing to others. I also try and show love.
Jesus commands un in Matt 22:37-39 "Jesus said unto him, THOU SHALT LOVE THE LORD THY GOD WITH ALL THY HEART, AND WITH ALL THY SOUL, AND WITH ALL THY MIND. THIS IS THE FIRST AND GREAT COMMANDMENT. AND THE SECOND IS LIKE UNTO IT, THOUGH SHALT LOVE THY NEIGHBOR AS THY SELF."
Jesus is clear, we must show forth love. We are to speak the truth in love. This is easier said than done. I always try to think how my posts can help someone else, not kick them down.
I know there are some who do not feel this way. The reason, some of the groups I have tried to join lately that are for Conservative Christian women, have denied me access. I am almost certain I know why, but I cannot prove it. The one thing I am very outspoken on is my obedience to my husband. I am to submit to him in all things. Is it hard? Absolutely. There are times when I just want to tell him not to do something, or to do something, but then I remember, it is not my place. There is a beauty in submission. If my husband wants to eat dinner in front of the TV, who am I to say dinner is only served in the dining room. You want to eat, you will eat in here. That would ruin my testimony. So what do I do? I set the coffee table and join him. I am submitting to his wishes, and I am showing love. Of course I would prefer the TV gone, but what do I gain by always saying that? Nothing!! I become a nagging wife, and we all know what Proverbs says about a nagging wife. Better to live on the rooftop than in a house with her.
Maybe there is a reason that I am being denied fellowship with some Conservative Christian women. Maybe God is saying spend more time with Me. I do not know, but I know that all things work together for them who love God and are called according to His purpose.
Sorry, but I am too drained emotionally to do a study in Proverbs today. There is enough to mediate on already. =)
May God Bless each one of you and may you feel my love for you radiating from my blog. I know many of you live hard lives, but know this, I will be your friend. Lori, God Bless You sister as you have given me more strength than you will ever know.

I Am Sorry

2005-07-15T18:09:00.000-04:00

I will be the first to admit when I am wrong, and I often am. I must apologize to Angel from the list that I was let go of. When I reread her emails, she did not come out and say I was causing problems. I read that into it. She did tell me (in a loving way) "So, almost everything we speak about that we have deep convictions against, you are the opposite, you understand? I do not hate you, not at all. I
care very much about you. I am concerned about you, but do not really know how to help you."
We still chat via email and IM and today I found out even more about her. She is married to a soldier. I know she is struggling with things in her life. She has to be if she is married to a soldier. All my Army Girlfriends will give a big "of course".
That is one of the down sides of the internet. Feelings often get hurt simply because one cannot see the other person's reaction or inflection of words. What we want to say and how others take it so often are two different things. I took "Interpersonal Communication" in college, made an A might I add, and look, still having communication problems. Thank God, I can run to Him, ask His forgiveness, ask Him to teach me the lesson He wanted me to learn, and walk away and do better in the future. Christians will make many mistakes, we just must learn to pick ourselves up, dust off, and get back in the fight. Of course it always helps if there is one or two other people to help pick you up and wipe the dirt from you.
I will take this as one big learning lesson. I can only hope that those involved can forgive me.
Today Ivan actually went to work. I am not sure what he is doing, because he wasn't even sure what he was doing. The fact is, he is out of the house. I have been able to mop without the TV being on. I did listen to one of my charity tapes. www.charityministries.org have some wonderful sermons. I like listening to them while cooking or cleaning.
I feel unworthy to post on Proverbs and women and speech after my BIG mistake. But here goes....Proverbs 23:27-28 "For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit. She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men." She lies in wait as for prey. That, I must admit, bothers me. I can remember before I became a Christian, those words would describe me. I feel so unworthy right now. I am just a simple woman, trying to live a godly wife, be a submissive, virtuous woman to my husband, and a loving mother to my children. I feel like Paul when he said, "Oh wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?"

Mountain Climbing

2005-07-14T22:55:00.000-04:00

Today I met my next door neighbor. Seems like her dh and mine were in the same class until Ivan had to be held back due to his lack of security clearance. They have two sons around 12 and 14 (I think) and the cutest Pug. I so would love to have a pug. Having animals is just not practical right now with all the moving that we are doing.
Last night I climbed one of the mountains here. It was probably about 500-600 feet up at a 45 degree angle with rocky terrain. I did it in a jumper. That was not the amazing thing, that was the fact that I climbed it in sandals. When Ivan and I left the house, we were just planning on a normal walk, but ended up mountain climbing. Next time I will wear appropriate shoes!!! I must admit, this was the first time I ever did anything like it, and truth be known, I had fun. I cannot wait till Jesse and Courtney are here so we can do it all together.
This evening we took a walk around the block, and I wore my prayer covering. I am getting a little braver. I feel that somehow if I smile and say hi whenever I meet anyone, it makes me more approachable. I really just want others to see the love of Jesus in my life.
Proverbs 22:14 "The mouth of a strange woman is a deep pit; he that is abhorred from the Lord shall fall therein."
I had to look this word in Hebrew to get the full effect. Strange here #2114 in Strong's Concordance means to be foreign, strange, profane, to commit adultery.
Imagine, those who God abhor (or who God loathes or regards with extreme repugnance) He allows them to fall into the trap of a loose woman's words. I shudder to think that one day I would be used of God in this manner. I am only beginning to understand the value of holding one's tongue, always thinking before speaking, and just constantly striving to be a virtuous Christian lady.

We Have Clearance =)

2005-07-13T10:39:00.000-04:00

Just wanted to add a picture of Ivan and I over the 4th of July on our Grand Canyon Trip. This way, you get an idea of what we look like. As you can see, I am one LUCKY gal!!!! =) God has indeed blessed me!!!
WOW, Ivan's TS Clearance has finally came through. Yippee!!! Now maybe we will be able to make the next school date and leave here soon after the first of the year. No, it is not that I hate it here, I just wish there was a Conservative Church nearby. Maybe I would not feel so alone then.
This morning I followed Ivan to the Dodge dealership so that he could get his driver's side window fixed, so now I am sitting here at the computer with my cup of coffee. I like to make a pot of French Roasted coffee and brew it strong, then add instant hot chocolate mix and REAL whipping cream. A cheap version of a Starbucks Cafe Mocha. Ok, it is not as good, but it is cheaper. LOL
I don't know if I have shared this before, but I suffer from depression and anxiety. Part of the medication side effects are that I forget simple things. It is more annoying than anything. Ivan is so wonderful in that he understands.
Yesterday we went shopping for the children's bathroom. WalMart was half the price of Target for almost the same thing. Guess where I bought it? Yep...WalMart. We pinch pennies here and there to save for vacation.
I have done so little cooking that I am beginning to feel like I am losing my touch. Ivan told me I had to get rid of the leftovers in the freezer before I made anything new. Can you believe I am still pulling out leftovers!! UGH. At least my commissary bill is &0.00 this week. =) I was reading in the Army Times yesterday and it seems the Commissary is going hi-tech. If you go to www.commissaries.com you can see what I am talking about. From there you can plan menus, see what is on sale, and make your shopping list. I will try it next week when I go shopping.
Proverbs 21:9 "It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house." In more modern terms, it is better to live on your roof than in a mansion with a wife who quarrels, picks fights, or nags or is noisy.

Lost But Now Found

2005-07-12T15:34:00.000-04:00

I lost my ID card, and as a family member, that is a HUGE no-no. We knew it was here somewhere because we had it when we came home Sat. night. You must have an ID card to get through the gate on a military installation, and have tags on your vehicle. If you don't, it can take 10 plus minutes getting in. The problem was if I had to report it missing, Ivan would have received a counseling statement. I was devastated. I have prayed and prayed, and had everyone I knew praying as well. THANK-YOU Heavenly Father, for not only hearing our prayers, but answering them in Your time.
I am so excited. I can now go off post to WalMart today. I could go nowhere yesterday.
The lost ID card made me stop and think though about my "helpmeet" status to my husband. I did not want him to get "written up" for my mistake. Sometimes it seems the harder I "try" to be the perfect wife, the more I fail. Is that not similar to our walk with God at times. We TRY on our own merit to be good, when all of our good works is as filthy rags to him (if we are trying to earn His approval).
Ivan loves me the way Christ loves the church. Never once when I was looking for my ID card did he criticize me or put me down. Instead he prayed for me and even helped me look.
How many times do I get upset with him for sitting watching TV for too long in my mind? I think God is trying to teach me some serious lessons.
Yesterday I was let go off of a Conservative Plain Woman group and I still am hurting over that decision. It seems that some people cannot accept that I am really trying hard to be a godly wife. The moderator said that I seemed to want to stir up trouble. I do not feel that was the case. I did say several times that it was not my place to TELL my husband how to run the home. A true godly, submissive wife WILL NOT tell her husband what he can and cannot do. I just hurt though because I so wanted to be in fellowship with them. I learned so much. Oh well, God knows best.
This week we are still eating leftovers!!! I am sure that I will be cooking much more often when the children arrive. I can hardly wait.
I want to thank each one of you who post to my blog. Lori, You are an inspiration to me. Your life just oozes of Christian kindness. I know someone sent you a nasty postcard, and that is tragic. Why do people think they are doing the right thing by sending hurtful things anonymously? To me, that is not just cowardly, it is unchristian, and unkind.
Proverbs 18:22 "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord." Imagine that ladies, when our husbands married us, they found favor with God Himself. It is my prayer that I be the wife who will bring favor to my husband.

Sorry....It has been so long!!!

2005-07-11T13:51:00.000-04:00

I must apologize that it has been so long since I wrote here. I have been a little busy. Thank-you everyone for the prayers about Courtney. Friday night she decided she wants to come, so both her and Jesse are booked on a flight Sunday, July 31st. I am so excited. I now have so much to do to get ready. I need to make sure their rooms are waiting on them. We have several boxes of Ivan's things in Jesse's room.
We are planning on attending the homeschool conference in Phoenix July 22 and 23.
I do not know how many of you have read "Created to be His Helpmeet" by Debi Pearl, but I finished the book. DH and I liked it, and even enjoyed it. I have a dry sense of humor, so I could find humor in some of her responses. Of course, I realized I am far from the "perfect" wife and have much to do to achieve an excellent helpmeet status.
Today I plan on going out and finding a shower curtain and towels for the spare bathroom. This is the one the children will use. It will be easier having it ready than having them "help" decide on how to decorate it.
Saturday we went to Tucson to visit Ivan's second cousin. He is almost 90 and still gets around great. It was so interesting to hear them discuss politics of Haiti. I am learning so much, but I know that Clinton did a very bad thing when he put Aristide back in power. It was a payoff. To know the REAL story read the book "Vodoo Politics the Clinton/Gore Destruction of Haiti" By Lynn Garrison. A wonderful book that tells what really happened. Makes one's blood boil...so don't say I didn't warn you. =)
Proverbs 14:1 "Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." What does this verse mean to you? To me, it means that my words and actions can either create a wonderful refuge or I can drive my husband away (tearing down my house). I know that I am not the only Christian woman out there who struggles with this building, am I? I am getting ready to go off on another path I think, so hang with me. Wives are to be submitted to their husbands, this is a command for us. It is not a suggestion, we are told to submit. How do you submit when you do not like what you are submitting to? Every woman is going to have this struggle I am sure. There will always be something your husband asks that is hard for you to do. By doing it though, and joyfully I might add, we are building our house not tearing it down.
I must admit, I struggle every day with being a good wife. I am learning to bite my tongue and not tell my husband how to run his home. I try to bring honor and glory unto him.
~Carmelita

Waiting...

2005-07-06T18:31:00.000-04:00

Oh the joys of military life. Ivan and about seven other people are now in the next class because their Top Secret clearances have not come through. This has us staying here at Ft. Huachuca two months longer than we had planned. God has His reasons though and who am I to question. So we will just sit here and wait for Sept and class to start. We are planning on taking leave in August. Ivan has 100 days saved up!! He must have less than 80 by 1 Oct 05, or he will lose the days. He plans on taking 25, so that way, he will still have 80.
Ivan has a four day pass this weekend, so am unsure what all we will do. It feels strange having him home around 0930 every day. My routine is so thrown off.
I did manage to get some oatmeal applesauce muffins made. It is the recipe that is on the back of the Ralston Quick Oats container.
I have been reading the book by Debi Pearl, "Created To Be His Helpmeet". Definitely and interesting read. She comes across almost harsh at times, but it really is a book every wife (and wife to be) should read.
Proverbs 12:4 "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones."
I am beginning to think more about how virtuous I am, or my lack thereof. I want to be a godly wife to my husband, one that is a crown to him.
This week is leftover week. I have so many leftovers frozen in the freezer that I am not having to cook much. I hope one day to get a chest freezer. When I am in the cooking mood, watch out.
For all of you die hard bloggers, how do I post pictures? I have tried, and have yet to figure it out. I wanted to post some pictures and can't. Any help would be appreciated.

Happy 4th Of July

2005-07-04T18:15:00.000-04:00

Happy 4th of July. Being married to a military man, this day reminds me off all who have sacrificed to make this great nation what it is. Though, I must admit, I do not like where I see this country headed with activists judges, it still is a great nation.
We have been very busy here. July 1st we went to Tombstone for the Western Film Festival & Symposium. Then July 2nd we were off to Clarkdale, AZ to ride the Verde Canyon Railroad. July 3rd, we were off to the Grand Canyon. We took a helicopter tour of the North end of the canyon. It was breathtaking.
Today we went back to Tombstone to get autographs from the Little House on the Prairie Cast, and tonight we are off to watch fireworks and listen to the Army band play.
Thank-you everyone for your nice comments on my blog. I am trying so hard to write everyday, but it seems my life is more hectic than ever.
We are thinking about homeschooling Jesse. Now I am busy deciding what his learning style is, that way, I can find the best curriculum for the way he learns. I also want a very patriotic curriculum.
I am still praying for Courtney to join us. Thank-you Sylvia, and everyone else for your prayers.
I know I have been discussing Proverbs, but thought this verse seemed appropriate for today. It actually is God talking to Solomon. 2 Chronicles 7:14 "If my people, which are called by name, shall humble themselves and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven , and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land."

Sad Day

2005-06-30T20:34:00.000-04:00

This morning I was up by 0530 and planted 12 tomato plants in 12 pots and two plants of Oregano in a window box. I am praying that I will get a nice little crop of tomatoes in a few months.
I also baked two loaves of bread today. I used the same recipe but cut the water back by about 1/2 c. and added 1/4 c. honey instead of the sugar. Ivan really liked this version.
Later in the morning I was writing my children. I have Jesse who is 11 and Courtney who is 10. They are spending the summer with their dad over in East Texas. Well it seems that my daughter has decided she is not coming. PERIOD. My ex is not making her, so August 5th, only one child is boarding the plane. I need to thank God for the blessing of having my son here, and I am. As I was sitting at the table writing my daughter (I write them snail mail almost every day), I broke down and cried. It was one of those moments when I could not stop crying. Ivan came into the kitchen and held me for several minutes without saying a word. Just was letting me know he loved me, cared for me, and was praying for me. I must admit, I finished the letter and took my anxiety pills and crawled into bed. I slept several hours, and feel better now. I am sad, but I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Mother's, and mother's to be, let me encourage you to build a strong bond with your children. Let them know how much they mean to you, what a blessing from God they are, how your life is so blessed because they are your children. Children need to hear this. My relationship was strained with my mother until just a few years ago, so I am not giving up hope and faith that God can do a miracle.
Proverbs 10:1 says, "A wise son maketh a glad father; but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother." I do not think there is much to elaborate on here. Think of some of today's foolish men, I am sure their mothers hearts are heavy.
I will admit to you readers that I am human and suffer like so many others. I suffer from depression (at least I am up there with the likes of David, Elijah, etc.) and I am a little down today. I am sure that time alone with God tonight will help me feel better. When I am depressed I like to read Psalms. David made such beautiful cries to God.

"Normal" Days???

2005-06-29T14:06:00.000-04:00

I am beginning to realize that no day will ever be "normal". DH security clearance has yet to come through, so only two more days or we will be here an extra three months. It is so weird having him home all day. I tend to get nothing accomplished.
Today my Keifer grains came in. I have a small batch starting now. I will have to give this a try. I am not sure if I will like it, but it is supposed to be extremely healthy.
This weekend we plan on going to Tombstone on Friday for their Western Days there. The Tombstone Film Festival and Symposium presents: A Little House on the Prairie Reunion. Featuring Melissa Gilbert, Little House cast members and Western film and TV stars. Autographs, panel discussions, movies, and entertainment. Saturday night "Guns, Gals, & Gamblers" Casino Night, Tombstone Hee Haw and much more. I am going because a dear online friend from Indiana loves Little House on the Praire and is unable to go herself. It is only 18 miles from where I live.
Saturday we are taking a train ride from Clarkdale AZ to Perkinsville and back. Should be fun. DH is off Friday through Monday.
Today I managed to make Pepper Steak. It was 2 lbs. of Round Steak cut into strips and 1 chopped onion and 1 clove garlic chopped. I browned the meat in a skillet and put in the crockpot the meat, onions, garlic 1/4 c. soy sauce 1 t. sugar, 1/4 t. each black pepper and ginger. I cooked on low for 5-6 hours then added 4 tomatoes (or 1 can) sliced into eights and 2 bell peppers sliced into strips. I cooked for another hour or two and it was done. I cooked some noodles on the stove and served it over noodles. You could use rice if you prefer.
Proverbs 9:13-18. These verses make me think of a woman who is a busybody. Always looking for someone new to tell her "stories" to. A gossiper. The Bible tells us that whatsoever is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, of good report, if there be any virtue or any praise, to think on these things. (Philippians 4:8) What we think is so often what comes out of our mouths. Oh that I would spend more time putting my thoughts on things that are above and not things of this world.

Busy Day

2005-06-27T16:36:00.000-04:00

Wow, here it is Monday afternoon, and I have little accomplished for the day. DH was only at school for one hour today. His Top Secret clearance is not in yet, so he can not attend classes until he has it. He is not the only one though. There are ten or so who are awaiting their clearances.
This morning I baked Oatmeal Muffins and then cooked lunch. We had Minestrone Macaroni and I freezed two boxes full. I need to bake some bread and write the children yet this afternoon.
I have also done two loads of laundry, and now I need to help dh with a homework assignment. He has no idea when it is due but it a critique of any war in which US troops have fought in. It must be 3-5 pages in length and discuss the terrain, leaders from both sides, weather, what made the one side loose and the other side win, etc. That will take a few hours of my day online.
I try to be a true helpmeet to my husband. I shine his boots, help him with his homework, do anything to make his life easier.
Today I actually walked out of the house with my prayer covering on. I went to the mail box across the street, but it was a huge step for me. Normally I will take it off when I go outside. I know it is sad to admit, but I worry what others think of me. I wonder... do any of you struggle with this as well. I know I cannot be the only one.
Since I have so much to do, we will continue our study in Proverbs tomorrow. I am listening to a tape though while I am baking from www.charityministries.org
~Carmelita

Busy, Busy

2005-06-24T11:39:00.000-04:00

Goodness, I have been busy the last few days. Tuesday evening, Ivan called me about 1615 (4:15pm) to tell me we are driving to LA that night to pick up his truck. He was able to take Wednesday off from school, so we drove my car to LA, picked up his truck, and both drove back home. We got in around 2000 (8:00pm) on Wednesday. LA seemed like a nice city and I hope to go back one day and spend some time there. The snow capped mountains rising off in the distance was breathtaking. Yesterday was a catch-up day for me. I had a few errands to run, and then in the afternoon I finally baked bread. It turned out really good and I was happy. Let me share the recipe with you all.
Mix together 2 c. hot water, 1/3 c. sugar, 1/3 c. oil, 1 1/2 t. salt, and 1 T. yeast. Gradually add 6-7 c. whole wheat flour and knead until smooth (about 10-15 minutes). Shape into two loaves and place in greased loaf pans and place in a warm oven for 20 min. Turn the oven to 350 and bake for 25 min.
I used my Pampered Chef loaf pans last night and it worked great. I love baking with the stones. I have not burned anything since buying several of their pieces.
Today I put lunch in the crockpot as I have an appointment this morning. I took cubed steak and seasoned it with spices and placed it in the bottom then added frozen mixed vegetables, diced two potatoes and an onion and then added a can of stewed tomatoes. I thought it would be good with the bread.
Here it is Friday and I keep thinking it needs to be Wednesday. I get so disappointed when the week is over and I have so much that needs done.
Proverbs 7 is where I think we were. This whole chapter is about the wisdom of keeping God's commandments and of avoiding sexual immorality. I sometimes wonder when did King Solomon write these particular proverbs. Was it at the beginning of his life or towards the end. I like to think that it was towards the end and that he learned from his mistakes and tried to warn others not to go down the same path he did. That is something I can do in my spare time, research when the proverbs were written. My Bible says they were written over his lifetime, but somehow, I get the picture that King Solomon is warning others not to go down the road he traveled as there is nothing but grief and heartache waiting at that dead end street.

Routines

2005-06-21T12:56:00.000-04:00

I don't know how many of you have routines, but I have one. Well, kinda, sorta have one. Ivan was off yesterday and he does not have to go in today till 1500 (3:00 pm) so he is here at home with me. Whenever he is home, my normal weekly routine gets all messed up. Normally I wipe down the tub, toilets, and sinks, make the bed, put dishes away from the dishwasher, sweep, mop what needs mopping, and work on lunch. This is what I try to do every morning. When he is here, well I have the bed made and dishes put away and that is about all. Every night before I go to bed I make sure all the dirty dishes are in the dishwasher and then I run it while I am in bed. That way, in the morning I can put the dishes away.
Yesterday we went RV and car looking. We had a great time, though we are just LOOKING and not in the market to buy right now. We do want to do our research so when we are ready to buy, we are not suckered in to some deal that we will regret later.
Today for lunch is rice, beans, and pork chops. The beans are a 15 bean soup that I made in the crockpot. I so love cooking with the crockpot. I have three recipe books for crockpot cooking alone. I seem to use the crockpot more in the fall and winter than summer, but it is nice to use anytime.
I will need to bake the porkchops in the oven, but that is too easy. Just heat the oven to 350 and put the porkchops in a baking pan and sprinkle with spices and bake. While the meat is cooking, I will make the rice.
This afternoon while Ivan is gone I hope to make some cookies. I have yet to decide what kind, but am leaning towards oatmeal raisin.
This afternoon I also must write my children. They are spending the summer with their dad in East Texas, so I need to write them a letter. I sent them a box with stationary, envelopes, pens, and stamps so they could write me and my son said that he has written three letters already. I must get on the ball. I have not written many letters since Ivan left Iraq. I tried to write him a letter every day while he was over there.
Ft. Huachuca is very busy this summer. There are many people moving in and many people moving out. Summer seems to be the time that the Army likes to move people as school is out. All day long I hear the moving trucks coming and going.
Proverbs 6:20-29 and 32-35 once again talks about adultery and evil women. Is anyone getting the picture that flattery is not something a godly woman should do besides me? I am trying to be aware of how I act at all times. I would hate to think that I would make a man lust after me. I belong to my husband, and him to me, and I would be devasted if I knew that a man was lusting after me. That would break my heart.

Father's Day

2005-06-19T20:07:00.000-04:00

Happy Father's Day to all the father's out there. My dh is a father too my two beautiful children. Though he is not their "biological" father, he loves them the way a father should love their children and is providing for their physical, emotional, and spiritual well being. We heard a wonderful sermon today on "Integrity" and how we must have integrity or we have nothing. Ivan has integrity. He tries to do what is right not what is popular. I love him for that.
I love weekends as it is a time that we can come together and do things as a family. Yesterday dh and I went to Kokopelli Bistro in Chandler, AZ. The Bistro serves only wine from the Kokopelli winery. They have a wonderful white Merlot, and well as a wonderful red table wine (Sweet Lucy) that is served chilled. Yesterday I tried a raspberry champagne they make called "Imperial Kir" and fell in love with it. We are sending dh mom one of each for her birthday. Now, I can hear a few gasps coming from the Christian circles on the fact that I, a professing Christian, admits publicly that I enjoy a glass of wine. Let me remind you that the Bible never says drinking is a sin. It says though "be not drunk wherein is excess". As a Titus 2 woman allow me to remind younger women not to drink too much wine Titus 2:3. There is a HUGE difference between having a glass of wine with dinner and going to a club and getting drunk (or even drinking so much at home that you get drunk as well). Enough said on that....
Today after church I hurried to get lunch on the table. I made a quick and easy casserole called Hominy Bean Casserole. Simply brown 1 lb. hamburger meat with 1 chopped onion and then drain. Add 1 cn Cream of Mushroom Soup, 1 cn hominy, 1 cn chili beans in gravy (I like "Ranch Style" beans) and put in a 2 qt. baking dish and bake for 30 min on 350. Put grated cheese on top before placing in oven. You can also add chili powder (2 t) and 1 cn (6 oz) sliced olives if you like.
Yesterday we went to Case Grande, AZ to look at kitchen tables at Steiner's Amish Furniture. We are looking to buy a kitchen table and we want one made by the Amish. We have been looking online and wanted to go to a store to actually look. We found one we liked but they were asking over $5000.00 for a table and eight chairs. I just do not feel comfortable putting that much money on a table. I can see spending $2000.00 but not much more. Right now we are eating on a cardtable and it works just fine.
Proverbs 5:1-20 is where we are at in our look at Proverbs. This Chapter gives us wisdom on avoiding adultery. I cannot begin to tell you the devastating effects adultery has not only on a person, but on all those who are wrapped up in the sin. The pleasures of sin can last for a season, but the lifetime harvest is almost too hard to bear. Sin will take you farther than you want to go and will destroy you in the end. Though God gives unconditional forgiveness, the pain will never go away. What you sew is what you reap. If I plant tomato seeds, and later realize I meant to plant corn, I will still reap tomatoes no matter how sorry I am. I can always plant corn later, but I still will have a tomato harvest. The same goes in life. We reap whatever we sow.

Slow Start Day

2005-06-17T13:24:00.000-04:00

It is a "slow start day" here in AZ for me. Last night we went to the "graduation party" for dh class. His next class starts on Tues. and this is the MITCCC course. It will last almost five months. Somewhere in the next few months, we will find out where we are to be assigned next. I have been praying that God will put us where He wants us and where the assignment would be good for dh career. I cannot see years from now, but God can, so I must trust Him.
Slow start day, that is where I was till I went off on a tangent. I did not get out of bed till 0900. DH did not have PT this morning (they had a class breakfast at 0700 at Po' Folks), so my usual routine was thrown off. It is time to start cooking lunch, and I have only just finished breakfast. Lunch today will be chicken fried steak. I have been hungry for that for a long time, so decided today was the day to have that. Actually last night I decided when I took the meat out of the freezer.
A week ago Tues., I decided I only wanted to grocery shop twice a month, so I stocked up. I still have plenty of meat in the freezer. Tuesday I will go back to the commissary to get more groceries. This time I will need things like rice, noodles, cream of everything soup, cream, yogurt, etc. There are just some things I am not willing to sacrifice on, and REAL cream in my coffee is one of those things.
This week our Haitian coffee came in (dh ordered it over the internet) and it is delicious. DH spent ten years of his life in Haiti, so I am learning some Haitian customs (now if I could just learn the language ). Haitian coffee is almost like expresso. Very, very bold. I must have the cream to lighten the boldness.
I have rambled on and on, and still no recipes. Sorry!! I know several of you read this blog for the recipes, so to the point.
Chicken fried steak is so easy to make. Buy cubed steak, and roll it in a flour mixture (flour, salt, pepper) and then fry in hot oil till done. I always put mine on a paper towel afterwards to let the grease soak up. I think I will serve it with some REAL mashed potatoes. Growing up, my mom used instant mashed potatoes, but I have always like REAL. So easy to do too. Just peel potatoes, cut into small cubes (the smaller the cubes the faster the potatoes cook)and put in salted hot water and cook until tender. Then add butter (I only use butter...no margarine at this house) and milk when mashing. Too easy. =)
Gravy is easy to make as well. Take a couple T. of the leftover grease and add flour (leftover from breading the steaks) and stir till smooth. You can then add water, broth or milk while whisking fastly to make sure lumps do not form in your gravy.
Of course, I have to serve a veggie too, so will take a bag of frozen veggies out of the freezer. Normally when I shop, I buy 10 bags or so of frozen mixed veggies (there are so many kinds to choose from) and then I always have veggies on hand. Of course, I do not have to buy this many every time I shop.
On to Proverbs....Proverbs 4:1 "Hear, ye children the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding." How appropriate for Father's Day on Sunday. It has been said that we relate to God the Father the same way we relate to our earthly father. If our earthly father was an evil man, we tend to look at God the same way; yet if our earthly father was kind, we look at God the Father in the same light. My heart breaks for the millions of people who did not have a loving, kind earthly father. Take comfort in knowing though, that your Heavenly Father loves you with an unconditional love, and will NEVER do anything to hurt you.
I still have much to accomplish. We must turn in the inspection sheet to housing today. This is where we walk through the house, and tell housing on paper, any damages to the house. If we don't do this, and damages were here when we moved in, guess what, we get to pay to have the repairs made. I must do that list before dh comes home for lunch. Hopefully this afternoon will be a quiet so I can catch up on things around the house. I have a prayer partner from a yahoo group, who I need to send a letter to. I pray for her and her familiy daily, I just wanted to "drop her a line". Something about ole fashioned letter writing brings a smile to my face. I always love seeing a letter in the mail from a friend.

"Smooth Talk"

2005-06-16T11:18:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I must admit, was a very productive day. I finished all the wash that needed to be done. I must have done 7-8 loads, and I finished when dh walked through the door at 1800 (6:00 pm).
As for my leftovers that I used up yesterday, we had even more, so I froze the rest. DH seemed to really like the meal, and I was glad. I did make some herbed rolls to go with dinner. You can take any type of dinner rolls, biscuits, etc., and roll them in melted butter and herbs before you bake them. I normally melt about 1/4 c. for 8 rolls. I like adding dill and chopped fresh onion (1 t. dill and 1 T. onion) but you can also mix and match any herb. Garlic can be good, as can some oregano and Parmesan cheese. Whatever you feel like. Bake in a pan (I don't use a cookie sheet for these) as long as you normally would. These can be really good. It is also fun to try out different herbs. I have yet to try Mrs. Dash, but want to do so one day.
Today is quiet. I need to sweep the floors. All my floors here on post are linoleum, so I try to take the broom to the house every morning. Mopping is done on Friday's and I use a Swifter Wet Jet, but have been thinking about mopping the kitchen and bathrooms the old fashioned way; hands and knees. Somehow, I just feel that I can do a better job when I am down there scrubbing away. Growing up, we mopped our floors with white vinegar. The vinegar did not cut the shine from the Mop & Glo the way other cleaners can.
This afternoon is a class BBQ for dh. Everyone is going to one of the guy's houses, and he is BBQ for everyone. Tuesday will start his last school here and this one will be about five months in length.
It looks like July 4th weekend we will be driving to Los Angeles to pick up dh truck that is being shipped from Germany. Germany was his last duty assignment (though he spent most of 2004 deployed to Iraq), so we should be stateside for our next tour.
Speaking of Iraq, I am going to include a link for anyone who is interested in supporting a soldier. Believe it or not, there are thousands of US soldiers who would love to hear from you!!!! www.anysoldier.com
Reading about women in Proverbs brings us to Proverbs 2:16-19 "To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flattereth with her words; Which forsaketh the guide of her youth, and forgetteth the covenant of her God. For her house inclineth unto death, and her paths unto the dead. None that go to her return again, neither take they hold of the paths of life."
Solomon was talking about God giving discernment to the righteous, so that discretion would preserve you and understanding keep you.
The verses though talking about a woman who flatters. When I went to Strong's Concordance it said that the word "flattereth" comes from the Hebrew word "chalaq" which the root means smooth. Solomon is warning the young men to stay away from women who are smooth talkers. That has me thinking, how many times in a day do I use flattery? I pray that God will open my eyes that I can see I need to speak truth, not "smooth talk".